Next Time, Make a Creative Mistake

Next Time, Make a Creative Mistake

A Poem by Kayleen

same boy

same story

slightly worse 

more perverse

see I was drunk

and you were fine

you put your body 

against mine

kissed me softly

and then harder

what do I do?

you venture farther

this isnt right

this shouldnt happen

oh s**t, my bra's unfastened

internal panic

this is new

take the lead, i follow you

run my fingers through your hair

your creeping towards my underwear

ok this is awkward

time to stop

im sober now

but your on top

one more kiss  wont hurt I guess

how much worse can we make this mess?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2014 Kayleen


Author's Note

Kayleen
Please if you took the time to read it, review it. thanks

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Featured Review

I know it probably shouldn't have... but this one made me giggle a bit at the end. How many of these "mistakes" have we found ourselves in throughout the course of our lives? I've now lost count! The first few lines started me thinking, that I was going to find this piece a bit uncomfortable, with the direction it seemed to be heading. But you so magnificently paint a road we've all travelled at one point or another. This is life. This is love. This is human emotion. this is? A mistake? maybe, just maybe. Nice write!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Cute poem. I enjoyed the imagery and your voice in the poem. Felt as if I should draw a curtain to give you more privacy. Ha!

Posted 14 Years Ago


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Dom
Great write. It flowed well and it was really creative. Awesome job. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Great poem. Detailed, to some extent in chronological order, which is interesting. You do well in making the reader feel step by step of what you wrote. Just a suggestion, I would leave out “a lot” at the end and what the readers guess how much. It also messes up the rhyme and rhythm to the poem. Good job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ohh yes things could always get out of hand..
starts when getting drunk then a little touch here and there
and emotions soar..it gets hot..and before you know it
a mistake was done..ha ha
what i really liked here is your pretty style..
easy going,flow is so nice..like a story
you ve done well here ,i liked it a lot
lovely write

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Big mistakes are made from a series of small mistakes. Each kiss,each touch, leads to another. I like your style. It really puts you in the persons head rather than just pretty words. It's very real. Keep it up.

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

That was quite a creative way to describe a mistake... it was very sharp and witty and had a great flow to it.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Stats

669 Views
16 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on November 28, 2009
Last Updated on October 22, 2014

Author

Kayleen
Kayleen

Anaheim, CA



About
Kayleen. 22. California. I Like Old School Punk Rock, Electro nonsense, and Katy Perry. The Mighty f*****g Boosh. Everything else amazing overseas we dont have here. I make movies, bad decisions.. more..

Writing
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A Poem by Kayleen



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