Choke

I 

will

Smoke

To keep

From Choking

I

Cant

Cry

If I'm

Constantly Joking

I

Want

Some Other

Kind

of Hurt

I 

Could

Deal

With the

Bloodstains

On a Shirt

I 

Dont 

Want

This

Inner kind

Of Torture

 I 

Take

One

Hit 

Why

Cant

I Make This better?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Comments Please? i would really appreciate any sort of feedback

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

It's got a good emotional impact. The break up of lines works.

[C. Rose]

The "I"s help break up the thoughts.
But there is no separation between "Hit" and "Why ... Cant ... I Make This better?"

Why did you not capitalize better if you capitalized Make and This in the last line.
Missing apostrophes.

The more I read the more I liked it.

[Heather Rodwell]

Oooh I like it a lot! This is full of feeling and questioning yourself. It's a soul opener.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very interesting indeed, it's like saying you'd rather cause your own pain cause at least you would be in control of it. Uniquely worded and expressed.

[Jemma]

I see an irony in the writing. ie when you say "I Will Smoke To Keep From Choking"
Also a depression. I think you made your intentions very clear and i can appriciate the flow and the style of writting.
Great write.

[Shannon Carinne Sparks]

The phrasing sounds like choke should. This is really sad, desperate almost.