Young and Derelict

Numb Numb

Needles in the skin

Dumb Dumb

 Never gonna win

 Gone Gone

Smoke is in the bong

Gone Gone

Please tell me this is wrong

Down Down

The hope I had we drown

Down Down

Dead and Underground

Sick Sick

These slits just feel like nicks

Sick Sick

We Are the Young and Derelict

Author's Note

if you took the time to read it please take just 3 seconds more to leave a review or some feedback please. thank you!

Reviews

[MFrano1]

It's okay.... I understand that being repetitive and repeating lines in poetry is a trend to emphasize points, but this one does it a bit excessively. Maybe I'm not knowledgable enough about poetry, or maybe I'm just biased as this type of poetry isn't my favorite, but overall I don't think it's one of your best works. Your other ones seemed to have more thought.

[Wynter Ignatius]

For all the simplicity, it speaks volumes as to how life can feel like "been there, done that."

Kudos and keep it up

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Love the poem, nicely written. :-)

Kaze~

[Emily]

I can help but loving poems like this! Well done Kayleen.

[A. Amos]

Beautiful expressions, great work my friend...

[Jack Kennedy]

I like the structures of the poem and overall theme! It was well done in my opinion

[Tai Ryens]

Derelict indeed, you capture the feeling and the drive to destroy oneself reasoning that if everyone else has abandoned that person, so, too, should the person in themself. A destructive mindset but one we tend to have, well done.

[Aethereal]

This poem isn’t what it is, but rather what it does. It reminds me of a wild red haired vixen trapped in a cage as she’s slamming her body against its bars of conformity while shooting up on hypos to keep herself from dying of stress. What is Consciousness after all, but a pandemonium of raging moods. The quest for freedom is never wrong, but it’s a painful quest that involves collateral damage.

[shocker]

I like the way it's set up and the over all topic keep up the good work

[Quinn]

Really well written with lots emotion shown through it's simplicity, which itself is almost symbolic.

[Abizar Bagasrawala]

This is so true and original. I love the casualness and carelessness, and disregard for ideal emotion and poetry.