Young and Derelict

Numb Numb

Needles in the skin

Dumb Dumb

 Never gonna win

 Gone Gone

Smoke is in the bong

Gone Gone

Please tell me this is wrong

Down Down

The hope I had we drown

Down Down

Dead and Underground

Sick Sick

These slits just feel like nicks

Sick Sick

We Are the Young and Derelict

Author's Note

if you took the time to read it please take just 3 seconds more to leave a review or some feedback please. thank you!

Reviews

[MFrano1]

It's okay.... I understand that being repetitive and repeating lines in poetry is a trend to emphasize points, but this one does it a bit excessively. Maybe I'm not knowledgable enough about poetry, or maybe I'm just biased as this type of poetry isn't my favorite, but overall I don't think it's one of your best works. Your other ones seemed to have more thought.

[Johanna]

This poem was pain and hurt and honesty and realness.. very impressed and touched. 100/100

[Tara]

This poem was very real. I could feel what tge author was going through...very good.

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong use of words. I like the use of blackness to strengthen your points. I liked the poem. Create reaction and thoughts. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

Awesome repetition, and the near rhyme was well done

[GreenEyes]

I loved it. Very powerful. I loved the flow of the poem, made it all the more intense and strong. Great job.

[C. Rose]

I am a sucker for repetition. Great structure. Strong topic.
My favorite lines are "Please tell me", "drown" and "these slits just feel like nicks".
Well done.

[Mysana]

This poem has a sad reminiscent feeling to it doesn't it. That's how it feels to me. I like the way it describes that feeling.

[just Penny]

Has a nice rhythm to it with effective use of repetition, but the message is clear, that self destructive behaviors harm. It's sad that we do have a generation of "young and derelict" but we pretend we don't. Loved this. Penny

[NoelHC]

This sounds like a cry for help, the anguish and despair ring out. Repetition is something that appeals to me, and in this case the use of it worked well, in my mind. Well done.