Anguish

Deep pain of loneliness without someone special

Clouds cover the whole sky, shows dark night
Birds sit in their nest, can't try to flight
Anywhere moon not seen, put off its light

On stair I sit, hand under my head
Tears fall from eyes, gaze roses red
I stumble in my life, still unwed

Her picture in my hands, her face bring out me
On bed of thorns I live, without her feel wee
I stare her picture, and mumble where thee?

I wallow in the mire, life full with ruin jerk
I don't swallow pain of lonely, don't do any work
I mis wailing without her, time seems like mirk

when she'as on the brink of grave, i never forget that time
Stare into my eyes with keen interest, she waive body at all times

Author's Note

If any mistake related to Grammar then please help to correct it.

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This was really beautiful, i could tell it was written straight from your heart.
It was sad and very romantic.
Very emotional and heartfelt this piece.
this was my favorite part
On stair I sit, hand under my head
Tears fall from eyes, gaze roses red
I stumble in my life, still unwed

The rhyming was also amazing :)
I really enjoyed reading this :) Keep writing i like the way you write :)

[SUGATA M]

I particularly loved the line 'I don't swallow pain of lonely'. Nicely expressed your feeling. Great piece of work

[Drifter]

It's an interesting piece. It might just be me, but it feels as if it needs something, like it's missing a key piece to make it really stand out for me. Not sure what that piece is, but either way, I think it needs a bit of work. Otherwise, not a bad read.

[Reeti]

Lovely message. the beginning of the poem connotes the scant freedom and the loss quite acutely with the bird constricted and darkness which seems to symbolize what the speaker is feeling (disoriented and unable to move on). the ending of the poem is climactic as it informs the reader where the lost love remains. the dramatic rhyming carries the poem to an interesting destination.

[KT]

Beautiful! Very emotional and passionate. Very good work!! :)

[Seshat Nidaba]

One line in particular caught my salient attention.

1. I wallow in the mire, life full with ruin jerk

Very creative that Sir.

[Manpreet]

I like the feel in this poem.

[Maggie]

Everything in this poem was compelling and beautiful up until the last line. Keep working on it...I felt many of the same emotions you did not so long ago

[marleywhite]

great emotion but spell check could had made it better

[Wolf's Dark Song]

I really like this a lot. The pain of being alone comes through powerfully. I could feel it as I read your words. An excellent write just as it is.

[Judas Hammer]

nice piece....i like the temp and emotion