Anguish

Deep pain of loneliness without someone special

Clouds cover the whole sky, shows dark night
Birds sit in their nest, can't try to flight
Anywhere moon not seen, put off its light

On stair I sit, hand under my head
Tears fall from eyes, gaze roses red
I stumble in my life, still unwed

Her picture in my hands, her face bring out me
On bed of thorns I live, without her feel wee
I stare her picture, and mumble where thee?

I wallow in the mire, life full with ruin jerk
I don't swallow pain of lonely, don't do any work
I mis wailing without her, time seems like mirk

when she'as on the brink of grave, i never forget that time
Stare into my eyes with keen interest, she waive body at all times

Author's Note

If any mistake related to Grammar then please help to correct it.

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This was really beautiful, i could tell it was written straight from your heart.
It was sad and very romantic.
Very emotional and heartfelt this piece.
this was my favorite part
On stair I sit, hand under my head
Tears fall from eyes, gaze roses red
I stumble in my life, still unwed

The rhyming was also amazing :)
I really enjoyed reading this :) Keep writing i like the way you write :)

[Penlady]

I would not presume to change anything about your work...it is YOU, quite tender and shows perfectly what you are seeing and feeling...I could FEEL your loneliness and recall sitting alone with only my anguish as you sit here...thank you for your comments on my work..

[Baby Ricochet]

Reads like anguish to me. Great job

[audrie]

I enjoyed reading the different ways that you described your feelings for this person . . my favorite part is - - -I wallow in the mire, life full with ruin jerk
I don't swallow pain of lonely, don't do any work
I mis wailing without her, time seems like mirk

when she'as on the brink of grave, i never forget that time
Stare into my eyes with keen interest, she waive body at all times


nice work - looking forward to reading more of your work!

[kerikil]

This poem... resounds in me. I can feel something (although I can't quite describe it at the moment) evoking itself from within. Great work.

[Morgan Purcell]

Another deeply great piece of poetry Lucky!

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

A sweet yet saddening write. Enjoyed. Really nice one.

[kublakhan27]

Some incredible lines that really speak to me on a personal level...well done^^

[pandorascollar]

A tragic yet beautiful poem. I love it!

[Tosca66]

I like it, emotional and deep, some grammar mistakes but the meaning of your message is very good! I enjoyed it!

[John]

Love the imagery. Yes, a few grammatical errors. But keep writing, it's the only way you'll get better! Good work!