Bumpy Wheel

It ain't round!

As usual, I grabbed the wrong grocery cart and went bumpity-bumpity down the aisle.

Maybe there's a wad of gum or something stuck to a wheel.

I bent down to see.

A jelly bean! For goodness sake! For the prices Piggly Wiggly charges, you'd think they could keep the jelly beans off the floor!

I cleaned the sticky mess from the wheel with a tissue and proceeded on.

Bump-bump, Bump-bump.

Now, what?

I bent down again to examine the infernal wheels.

A flat spot! How in the hell do grocery carts get flat spots on their wheels?

Spinning the left rear wheel and despising its imperfectness, I saw a foot with pink polished toenails, wearing a flip flop, just inches from my nose.

"Excuse me." said the foot's presumed owner.

I mumbled something and tried to scoot over.

"I'm sorry, sir; I just need to reach over you and get to the canned tomatoes."

Curses! Can't a guy fix his wheel?

What was the use? I stood up and sped off toward the cart corral.

I'll just get another damned cart!

Moments later, I pushed a smooth-rolling cart through the store. Nirvana, at last. My teeth unclenched and all was well.

Now, for those hotdogs and TV dinners.

I found the frozen foods and stood with lasagna in one hand and spaghetti with meat sauce in the other.

Hmm. This lasagna has a lot of cheese, but not much meat. This spaghetti has meat--well, it looks like meat--and no cheese.

In my confusion, I dropped the lasagna. As I reached down for it, I saw that foot again. Two of them, actually; both in flip flops, with pink polished toenails. I knew they needed more room and squeezed myself  over.

" I'm sorry, again. If you'll just move your cart back a little, so I can get to the frozen vegetables."

Good grief! Am I being punished for having a smooth rolling cart?  

I stood up and moved out of her way. She must've noticed my frozen food choices and said, "Craving Italian, are we?"

I had no choice but to look my tormentor in the face. "Uh, yeah."

God, is this Trish? She's my big "if"! Thirty years ago, we went on one date together and I was afraid to even hold her hand because she was so pretty! Oh, man, she's still a knockout!

Her big brown eyes caught mine and held them.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

The scared teen in me grunted, "I think so."

"Are you Buddy White, the one who drove that '55 Ford with whitewall tires and baby moon hubcaps?"

Any girl who'd remember those beautiful hubcaps deserves a reply. "Yeah, that's me."

Trish and I rolled our carts together down Piggly Wiggly aisles, while catching up on old times. After checkout, we went to her car and I loaded her groceries. We were both single again, and I really wanted to ask her out.

I told her, "Well, it sure is nice seeing you again."

She smiled and replied, "It's nice seeing you, too."

Things became awkward. The scaredy-cat in me wanted to run, but wheel-man stalled for time. I bent down low to eye her tires.

"You know, this left rear tire is wearing unevenly. My friend has a tire shop and I could... "

Trish put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm making Italian tonight. Would you like to come over?"

"Why... yes, yes, of course."

On the way back to my apartment, I may have hit a pothole and dented a rim. It bumps like hell, but who cares? I'll fix it Monday. Or maybe Tuesday.

 

 

Author's Note

Well, ya gotta write somethin'.

Reviews

[Marie]

A delightful adventure at the store with a very happy ending. Love this story with a touch of reality as bumpy trolleys make a frequent visit to stores in Ireland also. Penned with humour. I so enjoyed this story. Lovely work! Thank you for sharing, Sam...

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I guess it's a wider problem than I thought!

[Marie]

it's understandable how advancing age affects us in so many different ways, Sam. .

[Neville]

brilliant all the way through.. I do so love happy endings.. I presume there was one, all be it not yet writ....I so hope that one day, ya gonna write the sequel.... Seasons Best Samuel... N

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Neville.

[Neville]

welcome sir.. my pleasure..

[Chris Shaw]

A nice read about how a boring old trip to the supermarket can turn into a bit of an advenure. Really enjoyed your story Samuel.

Thank you

Chris

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

YOu are welcome Samuel.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I've never been to a Piggly Wiggly, but I would think they could keep those blasted jelly beans off the floor!! Lol, I mean, really!! I always get those carts that feel like there's an earthquake going on inches above the ground, and the process we go through to exchange them for a better one, is just as frustrating. You made this quite a delightful grocery escapade, Samuel! Much enjoyed!

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you, Kelly. May all your grocery carts have smooth, round wheels.

[Dara]

You have a way of making a simple trip to the grocery store a romantic adventure filled with delightful images and characters who come alive. I am glad I came upon this one tonight. It is definitely one to file away into my 'feel good' selection of writing :-)

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it.

[Karen Redburn]

I like this one. It reminds me of that Christmas song, "Same Auld Lang Syne" without the Christmas theme. Your tales though Samuel, so much sweet reminiscing. When I visit your page it feels like going to Grandpa's, drinking tea and listening to great stories. I should add the story appears to have a happier ending than the song.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I'm very happy to know you enjoyed it. Being a grandfather, especially so.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

The picture and title pulled me right in. I don't know how I manage it, but I always seem to pick that one damnable cart that no one would consciously choose. I love the natural flow to the story and found it to be quite charming. How one bad wheel turns into a good one is the way of the world. Well penned!

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Marie. May all your shopping carts roll smoothly.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I have fought with too many of those 'bumpy wheels' to count. But Buddy demonstrates much more expertise than I have. Love the way you italicize Buddys thoughts, as well as how the plot of the story brings both characters together. Ending is a great twist- from bumpy wheel to bumpy wheel! Love it Sam!

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Annette. I'm glad you liked it.

[Carol Cashes]

Laughed out loud about the cart. I manage to get those carts, too, and my grocery store stalker is a toddler who screams unchecked at the top of his lungs. He finds me in Winn Dixie. Every. Single. Time. Still laughing about the flat spot on the cart tire. You're right: how "in the hell" does that happen. A delightful read.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks again. Yeah, those flat spots give me fits.

[Dave]

Samuel - this was a delight to read. Tell the truth you don't normally go trolling in grocery stores - do you?

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Dave. I'm too old, dried up and married to do that kind of shopping anymore, but it is where the women are at.

[Dave]

So true - I don't know how old you are - I'm 76 and going strong - more or less. But you're right - it doesn't hurt to look and perhaps imagine.
Take care - Dave

[MomzillaNC]

Well, if “ya gotta write somethin’,” good thing it was this! An engaging tale.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Mom. It's true that I'm no stranger to grocery stores. "Write what you know" is my motto.

[MomzillaNC]

👍🏻 😎