Bumpy Wheel

It ain't round!

As usual, I grabbed the wrong grocery cart and went bumpity-bumpity down the aisle.

Maybe there's a wad of gum or something stuck to a wheel.

I bent down to see.

A jelly bean! For goodness sake! For the prices Piggly Wiggly charges, you'd think they could keep the jelly beans off the floor!

I cleaned the sticky mess from the wheel with a tissue and proceeded on.

Bump-bump, Bump-bump.

Now, what?

I bent down again to examine the infernal wheels.

A flat spot! How in the hell do grocery carts get flat spots on their wheels?

Spinning the left rear wheel and despising its imperfectness, I saw a foot with pink polished toenails, wearing a flip flop, just inches from my nose.

"Excuse me." said the foot's presumed owner.

I mumbled something and tried to scoot over.

"I'm sorry, sir; I just need to reach over you and get to the canned tomatoes."

Curses! Can't a guy fix his wheel?

What was the use? I stood up and sped off toward the cart corral.

I'll just get another damned cart!

Moments later, I pushed a smooth-rolling cart through the store. Nirvana, at last. My teeth unclenched and all was well.

Now, for those hotdogs and TV dinners.

I found the frozen foods and stood with lasagna in one hand and spaghetti with meat sauce in the other.

Hmm. This lasagna has a lot of cheese, but not much meat. This spaghetti has meat--well, it looks like meat--and no cheese.

In my confusion, I dropped the lasagna. As I reached down for it, I saw that foot again. Two of them, actually; both in flip flops, with pink polished toenails. I knew they needed more room and squeezed myself  over.

" I'm sorry, again. If you'll just move your cart back a little, so I can get to the frozen vegetables."

Good grief! Am I being punished for having a smooth rolling cart?  

I stood up and moved out of her way. She must've noticed my frozen food choices and said, "Craving Italian, are we?"

I had no choice but to look my tormentor in the face. "Uh, yeah."

God, is this Trish? She's my big "if"! Thirty years ago, we went on one date together and I was afraid to even hold her hand because she was so pretty! Oh, man, she's still a knockout!

Her big brown eyes caught mine and held them.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

The scared teen in me grunted, "I think so."

"Are you Buddy White, the one who drove that '55 Ford with whitewall tires and baby moon hubcaps?"

Any girl who'd remember those beautiful hubcaps deserves a reply. "Yeah, that's me."

Trish and I rolled our carts together down Piggly Wiggly aisles, while catching up on old times. After checkout, we went to her car and I loaded her groceries. We were both single again, and I really wanted to ask her out.

I told her, "Well, it sure is nice seeing you again."

She smiled and replied, "It's nice seeing you, too."

Things became awkward. The scaredy-cat in me wanted to run, but wheel-man stalled for time. I bent down low to eye her tires.

"You know, this left rear tire is wearing unevenly. My friend has a tire shop and I could... "

Trish put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm making Italian tonight. Would you like to come over?"

"Why... yes, yes, of course."

On the way back to my apartment, I may have hit a pothole and dented a rim. It bumps like hell, but who cares? I'll fix it Monday. Or maybe Tuesday.

 

 

Author's Note

Well, ya gotta write somethin'.

Reviews

[Marie]

A delightful adventure at the store with a very happy ending. Love this story with a touch of reality as bumpy trolleys make a frequent visit to stores in Ireland also. Penned with humour. I so enjoyed this story. Lovely work! Thank you for sharing, Sam...

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I guess it's a wider problem than I thought!

[Marie]

it's understandable how advancing age affects us in so many different ways, Sam. .

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Samuel Dickens… a very believable encounter with a Charming Adventure. We all have our Memories. gently, Pat

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you, Patricia.

[SweetNutmeg]

Haha, I was inspired to re-read this tonight, and by chance I was discussing Piggly Wiggly just this afternoon. Simply saying the name cheers me up. :) I used Piggly Wiggly in one of my stories too. A southerner tells northern friends the name of the store and they are incredulous. But I was incredulous when I went up to Philadelphia and saw an ACME grocery store. I expected to find a coyote with an anvil there, but no one up there understood my amusement. *sigh*

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks so much, my friend. I guess that cartoon changed the meaning of "Acme" forever. Like you, I always think of roadrunner when I hear the word.

[Re-Pete]

this is great. you really know how to tell a story. very real and relatable. i thought things like this only happened to me. much enjoyed and thanks for the chuckles ... :)

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks so much, Pete. My girl encounters were always clumsy, so it was a minor miracle I ever succeeded. Do a few of them see our inward qualities? I hope so. No one reads my stuff anymore, so this is a treat. (I'm 76 today!)

[Re-Pete]

happy birthday and many happy returns! ... :)

[SweetNutmeg]

Happy birthday Sam!

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks so much to both of you.

[Richard Knox]

Good morning, Sam. Another fun story of romance with an interesting, relatable character from you. I love the way you introduce Trish with the very enticing view of her pink-polished toenails in flip flops.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Richard. I'm pleased to know you enjoyed it.

[Carola]

a simple yet interesting story. you do write well & hold people's attention.
i think blokes like buddy need a list of pre-rehearsed conversation starters for any of those awkward moments in life.
cheerio carola

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you so much. Your idea about pre-rehearsed conversation starters is brilliant. Lord knows I needed them.

[Lorry]

Yep, saw a lot of me in this Samuel, as I'm sure most males reading this will. If theres a way to smooth over dodgy wheels and general grumpiness, its someone cooking italian. If that someone just happens to be a pink toed hottie, well no wonder she gets a story of her very own.
Tongue tied happens to the bestof us, and worst. We can be as cocky and confident as we like in our group, but as we all know, we turn into mutes when that hot chick from school speaks to us. I'm amazed we havent figured out to do this to our enemies at timesof war. Hot chick from school and war cancelled, becauseshe ask nice 😀
But piggly wiggly... Is that a real store name? I'm sure it must be but it is such a strange name for a store that I'm picturing the big bad wolf laying in wait behind the salad bar 😀

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I love that war-cancelling idea. I'll take something soft, warm and kissable over a gun any day. Yes, Piggly wiggly is a real store. I guess we've gotten used to the odd name. Suddenly, I'm remembering Procol Harum's song, "Juicy John Pink".

[Dave Brown]

that took me back to the day of the hubcaps
it is all mag wheel now but I remember scrounging the money together to buy some 4-bar spinners (royal master?)
They were soooo cool
Now I can't remember the last hubcap I ever saw

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks. Yeah, hubcaps have almost gone extinct. I've got one hanging on the garage wall that came off Dad's '58 Edsel. Some heavy-footed teenager used love hearing that four-barrel kick in and see the front end rise up.

[SweetNutmeg]

I'm glad Trish had some sense. Waiting around for men to make the first move, a woman usually ends up with a bunch of jerks. The nice guys are too modest to try their charms on a desirable woman. Which is why, in my thirties, I started making the first move with NICE guys. I was much happier that way. So our narrator was lucky Trish made the first move this time, and I think probably Trish is lucky to have found one of those rare nice guys.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I like your view on this.

[Kaede16]

Effective and whimsical attention grabber that led to a story that did not disappoint. Happy to have stumbled upon this one!

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I'm so pleased to know you enjoyed it.