What Flu?

'Tis healthy to be sick sometimes. - Thoreau

it was one of those flu where you feel like you'll cough up a lung

a jackhammer would have trouble breaking up the mucus

even your teeth and hair hurt

you've had more chills than a carton of expired, freezer-burned ice cream

along with more cramps than a gathering of thirty year old women at a national menstruation day

you've been to the bathroom so many times that you've earned unlimited frequent flyer miles

the toilet seat knows you by your derrièrre

your fever burns like a nuclear reactor capable of powering the national grid

your nose runs like niagara falls

you've had more soup than a campbell's worker's monthly quota

blinking your eyes takes an act of congress

you've done more paperwork than the internal revenue service

you feel so awful that your starting to think that death would be an improvement

but there's no time for that because you're about to have another loose bowel movement

and you don't even have the strength to lift the lid

Author's Note

"Measure your health by your sympathy with morning and Spring." - Thoreau

Reviews

[Vol]

Happened to me one time in my life, and you have nailed it! Last time there was such an epidemic around Nashville, that they closed the schools. One sixteen year old football player died. Now that I am old it is a truly terrifying thing to contemplate...

[Pete]

very bad this year, apparently. i'm fighting it now. thanks vol and keep healthy.

[GlendaK]

Oh, I'm so sorry, Pete.
Drink plenty of water and OJ if you can.
Be sure to eat to keep your strength. Crackers are better than nothing. I'm praying for ya!