The Millers

The Millers

A Story by C.L. Ritter
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A babysitter accepts a job in the country.

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Jennifer had a job to do. While her closest friends were vacationing during the start of the summer, she was searching for temporary work. She was thrilled to receive a call this morning by a woman who responded to Jennifer’s online posting for babysitting work. Jennifer agreed eagerly and told the woman about her experience. The woman was satisfied and provided Jennifer the address and time she was to be expected. She collected the belongings she would need for the night: purse, phone, and a book. Shadow, the family dog, ran up to her as she opened the front door. She nuzzled his head affectionately as he looked up with gloomy eyes.

“I’ll be back, don’t worry,” she said kindly. Jennifer departed the two story home and left Shadow to glare at the closed door. Jennifer was oblivious to what the night would bring as she drove in the direction of the countryside. It was a peaceful area; different from the city life. Homes were miles away from each other which provided neighbors seclusion. Farmland was plentiful and cows and horses grazed the pastures.

The residence stood on four acres of land. It was a two story country home. The exterior was white, the window shutters a dark red. On the porch were two blue wicker chairs and a small table. The sound of crickets called as night drew near. Jennifer parked her car in the driveway, clutched her purse on the passenger seat, and got out of the car. She sauntered up the footpath to the porch and pressed the buzzer. Voices were heard and an unfamiliar sound. The handle turned and the door opened. A tall man in a black suit stood in the entryway. His salt and pepper hair neatly groomed. His dark eyes observed her with interest. He beamed and extended his hand.

“Jennifer, how nice of you to come on short notice,” he said while he shook her hand. “My name is Charles. You already spoke with my wife over the phone. Please, come inside.” He stepped aside to let her pass through and closed the door.

  “Make yourself comfortable.” He followed her into the living room and waved a hand toward the couch. He sat on the chair to the left of her. His eyes studied her for so long that she felt uneasy. She looked down at her hands clenched together in her lap. She cleared her throat.

“Tell me about your little boy,” she said, her eyes found his.

Charles grinned. “His name is Adam. He’s intelligent for a boy his age. The top of his class. He can be…different.”

“What do you mean by different?”

Charles was deep in thought before answering. “He has pursuits many of the boys his age don’t share. Adam finds it challenging to retain friendships. Cecil and I are working to modify that, but feel he favors solitude most of the time.”

Jennifer wondered about what interests, but she did not want to pry too deeply.

“Do not fret. You should get along fine with him,” Charles said, reading her thoughts.

“Oh, I’m not worried. I’m great with children.”

“Well then.” He smiled. “Ah, here they come.” He stood as footsteps descended the stairs. Jennifer mirrored his action. Cecil wore a black dress and her blond hair was pinned up. They must be going someplace nice. Adam followed her from behind in his blue pajamas.

“Jennifer, nice to meet you. I’m Cecil. Thank you for coming.”

Jennifer shook her hand. “It’s no problem at all. I was looking for summer work. As I mentioned on the phone with you I have been babysitting for two years now. Since I was fifteen. This must be your little boy.”

Jennifer bends down to his level. He stood still. His hands folded in front of him. He looked up at her curiously. There was something about him. Jennifer couldn’t figure it out. His eyes were empty and black. His facial features void of emotion. Yet, she smiled at him.

“Hi, my name is Jennifer. What is your name?” She knew his name, but was being friendly.

He did not answer, but continued to stare her in the eyes with a deadpan look.

“He is bashful around new people, but don’t worry. He won’t be much trouble. He will entertain himself up in his room. He has many pastimes for a ten-year-old. Don’t you, Adam?”

The little boy nodded his head, not once taking his eyes off Jennifer. “I’d like to see some of your hobbies if you don’t mind sharing them,” she said, trying to lighten his mood.

“He would have no problem sharing them, right Adam?” Charles stood next to him. His hand rested on the boy’s shoulder and squeezed gently. Adam looked up at his father and a faint smile formed on his lips.

“Looks like we are in agreement.” Charles was pleased.

“Do your parents know where you are babysitting tonight? Cecil asked.

Jennifer looked from the boy to his mother, alarmed by the question. “Um, not really. They went to Florida for three weeks and this was short notice. I haven’t talked with them. Is that a problem?”

Cecil was quick to assure her. “Oh, heavens no. It was more a last minute thought.” She glanced at her spouse. Charles gave a slight nod. “We had better get going. I’m not sure how long we will be gone. These company parties can last for hours. I left a number where we can be reached on the fridge.”

“Thank you.”

Charles took his wife by the arm as they walked toward the door. They left.

The boy had not moved.

“Looks like it’s just me and you, kiddo.”

“Don’t call me that,” he sneered.

Jennifer frowned. “I’m sorry, did not mean to offend.”

Adam laughed mischievously. “It won’t matter later.” He turned and sprinted up the stairs, ignoring her when she asked what he meant by that. A door shuts. 

She slumped onto the couch with a sigh. Adam would come down when he was ready, she would not force him. Children typically got along with her well. She knew how to handle them. It really wasn’t that complicated, but Adam was not making it easy for her. There was, of course, the likelihood Adam was not used to being away from his parents and was taking it out on her. That was fine, he could stay up there as long as he wanted.

  Rather than sit here and be bored stiff all night, Jennifer’s next alternative was to grab the book from her purse, lie back, and read. She soon lost interest and dropped the book on the floor next to her. Some exploring might help. She got up, walked to the stairs, and looked up. Nothing. Complete silence. Jennifer was about to climb the first step, then retracted. No, she wouldn’t bother him. Not yet.

There was a padlocked door across from the kitchen area that leads to the basement. Very odd. Perhaps it was placed to ward off the curiosity of Adam. It would be tragic if he were too tumble down the stairs while going unsupervised. Jennifer did not think anything else of it and moved on.

The kitchen was large, spotless. She found the cabinet with glasses then opened the fridge, and saw the note with a number hurriedly scribbled. She certainly had her pick: orange and apple juice, coke, milk, tea in a pitcher, and Cool-Aid. She made her choice and poured the can of coke into her glass. It was emptied a minute after, and she was refreshed.

The family did not have a television in the living room. Everyone she knew had one. She was disappointed. One would have been nice to occupy her time, but she would have to make do. The fireplace was pleasant, but wasn’t the weather to light a fire. She abruptly wished it was winter.

  Back onto the couch she went. Jennifer lounged on her back and surveyed the circular patterns on the ceiling. She sighed. I really should check on him. Charles did tell me he would entertain himself, so she wasn’t too concerned. She was, however, bored.

 

When she arrived on the second floor, she came upon Adam’s room. Something told her not to go in, to go back down the stairs. No, better yet, to run from the house while she still could. She disregarded the inner voice of her mind and the goosebumps on her arms. Was that giggling she heard from within? Yes, but not a playful one. It was evil, cruel.

An odor was seeping through the cracks of his door. She could not describe the smell, but it was not pleasant. It was enough to make her question the source. Jennifer knocked lightly a few times. When she got no response she tried again with more force. Nothing.

“Adam, what are you doing in there?” She pressed her ear against the wood, straining to hear anything. “I’m coming in.”

Hesitantly, she turned the handle and slowly pushed the door open. It creaked as if it protested her presence. The room was dark except for the light of the moon outside the window. But the first thing she noticed as she stepped into the dark was the overwhelming stench. Much worse now than before. Adam was nowhere in sight.

Her hand covered her mouth. It took everything she had not to puke up her dinner right there on the floor. She staggered forward. Her eyes surveyed the area, but could not locate where the odor was coming from since it filled the entire space. Tears clouded her vision as if she had cut an onion. Her hand wiped them away, but did not alleviate the sting in her eyes.

The bed was made up, but at a second glance Jennifer saw the bulge under the comforter. There was no movement. It could be a pillow or stuffed animal, except the shape ended an inch from the foot board. It may be…

“Adam?”

It was no surprise that all remained silent. She choked from the smell again, growing stronger with each small step she took. But, her bravery had grown, and soon Jennifer was standing beside the bed looking down at the mystery before her.

Her arm reluctantly reached out. She clutched the comforter, but could not bring herself to expose the odor that dominated the small room. It only seemed reasonable that she had found the source. She took a second to prepare herself and swiftly threw back the blanket. She recoiled suddenly, horrified.

  The face was distorted from decomposition. The cheekbones and eye sockets were hollow. The lips were flaking and spread apart and escaping them were little white organisms. They slithered their slimy bodies out of the mouth and crawled along the rest of the face, feeding. Its hair had fallen out in clumps around the head.

The rest of the body was a greenish-blue. Fluids stained the sheet underneath the corpse. The arms rested stiffly on the sides of the torso. The breasts were sunken and hard. The stomach was bloated and swollen with patches of skin that had cracked and busted open from pressure of internal gasses. The sight was grotesque.

Jennifer turned and bolted from the room.

“Hey!” someone called after her.

 

 

“Hey!”

Jennifer stirred. Someone called out again. Her breathing was quick, she was sweating profusely. It took a moment to become consciously aware of her surroundings. The fireplace came into view, the chair across the room, and then Adam standing there beside her. She wiped the sleep from her weary eyes.

“You were screaming,” Adam said.

Jennifer sat up. “I must have dozed off.”

“Did you have a nightmare?”

“Yeah.”

Adam smiled happily. “You know, it may have been trying to tell you something. Dreams are weird like that.”

“I hope not. It was very…disturbing.” She shudders as if cold.

“What was it about?” Adam was eager to know more.

Jennifer shakes her head. “You’re too young to know.”

Adam frowned at this and crossed his arms. “You’d be surprised with all the things I know.”

“Why don’t you tell me? I want to know more about you.”

“Not yet. But you will find out soon.”

Jennifer doesn’t question further. She’s still groggy from her nap, and wondered about the nightmare. The last time she had a nightmare she was a little girl, then has one here of all places? And, Adam seemed pleased by it. She did not find this comforting.

“Nice to see you decided to come downstairs.”

“I heard you scream,” Adam smirked.

“What would you like to do?” Jennifer looked at Adam. “Do you have a television in your room?”

Adam shook his head. “My dad told me TV will rot my brain.”

The image of the corpse filled her mind; maggots ate the decayed flesh. She shook it away.

“Then what do you do for fun?”

“I like to draw things and play with dolls. Want to see?”

“Sure, I’d love that.”

She stood from the couch and Adam grabbed her hand, pulling her along. “Come up to my room.”

His room was nothing like her dream. The bed was unmade, no corpse. The light was on. There was a shelf against the wall with a collection of action figures; spider-man, batman, the joker, and wonder woman. There were more, but those were the ones she recognized and they were all neatly lined and organized. The whole room, in fact, was clean for a ten-year-old. She was impressed.

Adam pulled a notebook out of the top drawer of his dresser and handed it to Jennifer. He watched as she sat on the bed and opened the first page. The drawing was of a small house in red crayon, a yellow sun, and three stick figures holding hands. Another was of a heart and inside was written I love Mommy and Daddy. As she continued to flip through the pages, the drawings changed to sinister images: Stick figures holding knives, headless bodies on the ground, blood raining from the sky, a car running someone over. The last page worried her even more because she had already seen it. There was a picture of a door in red and a lock was on the door handle. On the door in black letters he had written Stay Out. What was going on down there? She closed the book.

Adam prompted her for information. “Did you like my drawings? Some of them took forever to finish.”

“I have to be honest, some were creepy. What caused those ideas?”

Adam shrugged. “Whatever comes into my head, I draw.”

Jennifer hugged her knees to her chest.

“Have your parents seen your drawings?”

“Yeah, they want me to draw more. My dad said my drawings were creative and if I kept it up I can be a real artist when I grow up,” he said proudly.

“What did the drawing of the door mean?” She asked, but wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

He smiled. “That’s the door to our basement. We play down there at times.”

“We? As in with your parents?”

He nodded. “I have learned much from my mom and dad.”

“What do they teach you?”

“Things school doesn’t teach me.”

Jennifer wasn’t done yet. “What do you play in the basement?”

          “I forgot the name of the game, but it is fun. I’m not allowed down there unless my parents are here. Oh, let me show you my dolls.”

          Jennifer dropped the subject for now. There has to be a key somewhere. She was determined to find out the significance of that drawing. She did not know why, but she had to know. Something was amiss, and Adam was not going to disclose any information. A sneak into the parents’ bedroom to have a look around could turn up the key. She could give that a shot.

          Adam got bored with showing her the dolls and suggested they do something different.

          “Do you have any games to play?”

His face turned serious. “Yes, many games.”

  “Great, why don’t we play one? If I don’t know the game you can teach me. How does that sound?” Jennifer said.

“Okay, let’s play Hide-and-Seek.”

“Oh, I like that game!”

The boy nodded his head. “I want to be the seeker first.”

“I used to play when I was your age.”

“It’s my favorite,” he said.

“Don’t we need more people?”

“All you need is two,” Adam said.

“I’m really good at hiding, you may not find me,” She chuckled.

  Adam laughed. “I will find you.”

Jennifer laughed with him. “Oh, Really? We will see.”

“Rules are no hiding downstairs. I will count to ten. You go hide.” Adam turned around and began his count. “One…two…three…”

There were three other bedrooms and a bathroom in the hallway. She chose the biggest bedroom on a hunch that it was his parent’s room. She tried the nightstand first, quickly rummaging through the contents. Nothing but a few magazines and some prescription bottles. A look in the other stand on the opposite side of the bed turned up no luck.

She could think of a few places she would keep a key if it was important: her purse (quite possible Cecil had the key with her), on a key rack by the door, though she did not remember seeing one, or perhaps in a jewelry box. Jennifer kept a key she rarely needed that opens the outside shed in her backyard in a little porcelain box on her dresser.

Jennifer made her way to the vanity across the room. She caught her reflection in the large mirror: her eyes were puffy, her brown hair could use a brushing, but she wasn’t bothered by that at the moment. On the vanity there were numerous perfumes, a basket of make-up, a brush, and a wooden jewelry box. She opened the box hastily, but was disappointed when there was no key.

“I’m coming for you!”

Adam called from the hallway. She could tell he was close, probably in the next room. She shuts the lid. Jennifer glanced around the room in search of a hiding spot. Only two choices: walk-in closet or under the bed. She had a small frame, but the bed was so low to the ground even she would not fit underneath. 

She opened the closet as quietly as she could, got in, and closed it behind her. She sat on the floor, sitting on a bunch of shoes in the process.

There was a black duffel bag in the corner a few feet from her. It was opened. Had it not been for the silver sticking out she would not have noticed it. She grabbed at the bag, and pulled it toward her. She dared not touch the handle of the gun, having never been so close to one. Looking deeper into the bag there was a combination of knives in varying lengths, a white cloth, a small bottle with liquid inside, a hammer, rope, and duct tape. There was a small side pocket. After opening the zipper, she reached inside and felt something small, metal like. Jennifer brought it up. It was a key.

She said a silent prayer that it was the right one, and stuffed it into the pocket of her jeans. She pushed the bag back into the corner and sat silently. What was with all the knives and a gun? Extra security if someone broke in? She doubted it. It certainly was not the best place to keep something of that nature with a young boy around that might get curious and find it. The contents in the bag had made her feel uneasy. Something was not quite right.

She heard light footsteps on the hardwood floor and knew Adam was in the room. She peered through the slits of the closet and could see him on his knees looking under the bed. He stood up and faced the closet door. He laughed gleefully and pointed his finger her way.

“Oh where, oh where could you be? Are you in there?” He said, mockingly.

He ran to the closet and quickly opened the door. He clapped his hands and jumped up and down excitedly upon finding her.

“Told you I’d find you!” He said.

Jennifer exited the closet. “You are very good, you found me quick.”

“Now I go hide,” he said.

“Actually, it may be your bedtime now. Why don’t we go and I’ll tuck you in?”

Adam frowned. “I’m not tired yet, let’s play more.”

“Your parents would kill me if they came home and you were still awake.”

“They wouldn’t kill you,” he said straightforwardly, “at least not right away.”

“What are you talking about?” Jennifer did not like how he had said that.

He just shrugged and said, “I was just joking with you.”

She was not entirely convinced. “Are you going to give me trouble, or are you coming to bed?” She asked him.

He sighed heavily. “Well, if I must.”

 

 

She shut the door to Adam’s room after putting him to bed and descended the stairs. Of course, he could have stayed up longer, but she had hidden intentions. She briefly thought that she may be putting her nose where it didn’t belong, but her instincts told her something was going on because of the way Adam was very vague about the basement and what kind of game went on down there and the drawing of the door. She could justify her actions by the fact that what if she didn’t investigate and something were to happen later and she could have done something about it?

So there she stood in front of the basement door. The only difference between the picture and this real door was there was not a sign warning her to stay out. Even if there was one, she would likely have ignored it because that would have pique her interest even more.

She reached inside her pocket and took the key out. She gripped the padlock and pushed the key into the lock and turned it to the left. The lock actually opened and she was relieved. She took the lock off and placed it on the floor by the door before opening it. She found the light on the right side of the wall and turned it on. She was nervous at what she would find-no, scared was more like it-so she stood there in the doorway for a minute. Finally, having the courage, she made her way down the steps.

Jennifer reached the bottom and looked around. It was a large basement and looked like any other basement. She saw boxes stacked up to the right of her. She figured The Millers used the area for storage because other than that it was bare. She walked over to the boxes and looked inside some of them. Nothing unusual. They contained clothes, toys, some books. To the right of where she stood at the far corner was a washer and dryer and next to that on the other side was a furnace.

Nothing was down here that she could see, so why the use of a key and why did Adam not want to talk to her more about it? She started to feel like an idiot snooping around in a stranger’s basement and decided it was enough. As she made her way up the first couple of steps to leave, she heard a faint noise. She stopped dead in her tracks and listened. There it was again. It sounded like sniffling or a sob and it was coming from the right of the stairs. Somewhere far back where she hadn’t been. The single light of the basement wasn’t enough to brighten the whole area, so some places were darker and she couldn’t really see much when she cocked her head to look that way.

She cautiously moved toward the sound to the right and passed the stairwell. Her sneakers were moving slowly. Her eyes looked about the somewhat dim area, but saw nothing…at first. At the far corner of the basement there was something hanging from the ceiling. As Jennifer got closer, she realized it was a body.

She let out a gasp of horror and almost turned to bolt up the stairs until she heard a voice.

“Please, help.” The voice was barely audible.

She slowly walked toward it and stood in front of the figure. Then, realized it was a woman. Her arms were high above her head and tied together by a rope that rose up to the ceiling and was attached to a hook. The woman’s toes were touching the hard concrete floor.

It was difficult to make out much of the woman’s face because it was battered and bloody. Her long blond hair was red with blood. Her head was down with her chin touching her chest where she only had a bra on. The woman had cuts along her chest. Her stomach was bloody and Jennifer saw that something was carved there. Someone had taken a knife and sliced the word trash into her. She had no pants on only underwear.

Jennifer cried, “What’s your name?”

The woman raised her head slightly to look at her, then fell forward weakly. “Amber, please help,” she managed to say. Her breathing was labored and her nose was running. She sniffed.

“Don’t worry I’m getting you out of here.” Jennifer said. “How long have you been here?”

“I d-don’t k-know,” the woman stuttered, “m-maybe five days.”

Jennifer didn’t see anything around her that could cut the woman down. She would have to go upstairs. She quickly devised a plan in her head. Since Adam was asleep and the parents were gone, it shouldn’t be difficult to get her up the stairs, out of the house, and into her car. Only then would she call the police.

The woman began thrashing her body around with what little energy she had left and tried to free her arms. “Get me out of here! Please God! They’re crazy!”

“Quiet! No one knows I’m down here. I will get you out, but you’ve got to stay silent. Listen. I need to go find scissors or a knife to cut you down. I’m going to leave you for a second, but I promise I will be back.”

Amber stopped struggling, but only because she was too weak to continue.

“I can’t feel my arms,” the woman groaned. Her head dropped and she was silent. She had passed out.

Jennifer had no chance to turn around when someone seized her around the waist from behind. A slightly damp cloth covered her nose and mouth. She inhaled a pungent, sweet smell. She writhed to get loose from the grip, but whoever was too strong. Her limbs weakened. She felt consciousness slipping away and heard a whisper in her ear, “There, there, good girl.” Then, all was black.

 

“She is waking up,” someone said.

“Let the party begin,” spoke another.

Jennifer’s eyes slowly opened. She was still in the basement seated in a chair. Her arms were tightly bound behind her back. The rope circled her torso and around the chair. She could not move. She caught sight of movement to the right of her. Three people were standing there looking at her.

“Welcome back.” Charles said. He smiled at her. “I see you have found our secret.” He held up a key for her to see then put it in his pocket.

Jennifer winced from the pain in her head. She felt dizzy.

“What did you give me?” She grumbled

Charles chuckled. “That is the least of your worries right now, don’t you think?”

“Why?” It was all she could manage.

Cecil laughed like she was among friends. “Darling, we don’t need a reason. That is the whole fun of it!” She walked over to Jennifer. She was still wearing her dress. Her hand stroked Jennifer’s head. “No tears, dear.” She spoke in a calm, reassuring voice. “It will be over soon.”

          Adam stood next to the hanging woman who still seemed to be passed out. But, his cold eyes were on Jennifer. There was nothing child-like about him. He was pure…evil. She could feel it drifting in the air, and she shivered.

          “Daddy is very upset with me,” Adam told her. “He said I was careless for allowing you to hide in their room. You weren’t supposed to find the key.”

          “All is forgiven. You are still learning, and your skill will only grow with time.”

          Adam beamed at his father. “I want to play some more.”

          “You are insatiable,” Cecil told her son. “What do you think, Charles?”

          Charles walked over to a black bag sitting on a chair. Jennifer recognized it immediately and knew what was in there. She began squirming in her chair, but that only made the rope dig into her arms more. He took out a large, shiny knife.

          “I say let him have fun.” Charles handed the knife to Adam, patted him on the head, and took a seat next to his wife.

          Jennifer understood now. His parents were going to watch while Adam used his new toy on the woman. These were the games that they played down here. This is what they taught their son to do. She felt sick and panic began to rise as she realized that she may not leave here alive. She hadn’t told anybody about this job. No one will know where she is.

          “You don’t have to do this,” she tried reasoning with them. “No one knows I’m here. Just let me go and I won’t say anything.”

          Cecil laughed. “I’m afraid we cannot do that, dear.”    

          “And, unfortunately, we don’t believe you,” Charles said.

          Jennifer was crying loudly now. “Please, I promise.”

          “Hush, girl. The show is beginning,” Cecil scolded her.

          Adam took the knife and began making small cuts on the woman’s legs. He was in deep concentration. No emotion on his face. He dragged the tip up and down both her thighs. The woman began moaning and then a cry escaped her as she thrashed to be free. But, Adam did not stop, and traveled up to her abdomen where he continued his assault.

          His parents were clapping and cheering him on. They would tell him cut here, or cut there. Do it deeper. Make her feel it. They praised him on how good he was getting with the knife, and this seemed to excite Adam. So, he’d plunge deeper and deeper. There was no sorrow or remorse. The woman’s screams went unnoticed and so did Jennifer’s pleas to stop. At the final plunge, the woman was lifeless.

          Adam stepped back, admiring his work. He seemed please, and turned to look at his parents sitting behind him.

          “Look what I did, daddy!”

          “Ah, first kill. I remember my first. I felt so high, “Charles recalled.

          “We’re so proud of you,” Cecil said happily.

          “Let’s celebrate and go for a second. Shall we?” Charles and Cecil looked toward Jennifer. She was hysterical at this point, her whole body shaking from sobs.

          “You guys are crazy!” She screamed.

          “That is hurtful,” Cecil mocked.

          “You won’t get away with this! You’re monsters!”

          They just laughed at her. Adam stood there, his face unreadable. She pleaded with her eyes. When he raised the bloody knife, she squeezed her eyes shut. He brought the knife down again and again.

         

          “It is quite a shame.” Cecil said while staring at the house. “I loved this house.”

          They sat in the car. Charles was in the driver seat with Cecil beside him. Adam was sitting in the back, sleeping.

          Charles glanced at his wife. “You know we can’t stay.”

          Cecil sighed. “I know.”

          “Someone will come looking for the owners eventually.”

          Cecil nodded. She looked back at her son and smiled.

          Charles started the car. “Let's go home.” He winked.

 

 

         

         

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

           

© 2015 C.L. Ritter


Author's Note

C.L. Ritter
Ignore spelling and grammar please. This is a rough draft that I'd like feedback on things like pacing and is it interesting to read. Is the story too fast, too slow? Should I add or take away anything? Are the characters believable to you? Stuff like that. I'm a new writer and can use all the feedback I can get. Thanks!

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Featured Review

Hi, I'm a new member of this amazing forum, so my opinion probably won't be valued much, but I just want to say that this is a AMAZING story. I am a sucker for horror stories, but most are way too slow and boring. Some are way to fast, getting straight to the point. In my opinion, a story (especially horror gerne) should have the right amount of flow, so the reader wants to continue reading. This story has exactly that. I've read hundreds of story around the internet, short and long ones, slightly scary to terrifying ones, but I've never seen a story exactly like this. The story makes me want more, a part two. One of the best stories on here, 100 out of 100. Keep up the good work, and please make more!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

C.L. Ritter

9 Years Ago

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Every opinion is valuable to me, since I'm still learning to bec.. read more



Reviews

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Ana
OH WOW WHAT THE I'M SO I MEAN I'M LIKE AND. Ahhhhhhh the ending was amazing!!! When I first started I thought her nightmare about Adam being dead was real, so I was like, oh, so this is a suicide story. And then when she woke up I thought the rest of the story would be her becoming best friends with Adam, so I was like, oh, so this is one of those stories. NOOOOOOO ANA YOU WROOOONG. You should work on one of those horror movies or something!! If I hadn't made myself keep scrolling I never would've thought this would actually interest me. It was very exciting, and even though the last bit was bloody I still thought the parents' encouragements were funny. "Ah, my first kill. Good times, good times."

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

C.L. Ritter

9 Years Ago

Well, im glad you kept reading. This is actually the first story I've written in a long time, and I .. read more
Hi, I'm a new member of this amazing forum, so my opinion probably won't be valued much, but I just want to say that this is a AMAZING story. I am a sucker for horror stories, but most are way too slow and boring. Some are way to fast, getting straight to the point. In my opinion, a story (especially horror gerne) should have the right amount of flow, so the reader wants to continue reading. This story has exactly that. I've read hundreds of story around the internet, short and long ones, slightly scary to terrifying ones, but I've never seen a story exactly like this. The story makes me want more, a part two. One of the best stories on here, 100 out of 100. Keep up the good work, and please make more!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

C.L. Ritter

9 Years Ago

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Every opinion is valuable to me, since I'm still learning to bec.. read more

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Added on September 26, 2015
Last Updated on September 30, 2015