Once upon a time

Once upon a time

A Poem by sam
"

Was over my first heart break years ago.

"
Once upon a times are so over rated
once upon a times are way out dated
Fairy tales just don't come true
for that is why i am so blue

once upon a time that boy never knew
that he was my prince charming
the one i belonged to.

once upon a times are so over rated
once upon a times are way out dated
my dreams wont come true
for i am without you

© 2016 sam


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Reviews

I likd this poem, I feel like it's very true to it's message.
And the message is a very important one.

Posted 8 Years Ago


i can relate to it... emotions dropping from each line of the poem... this is how it feels when our heart is broken... a poem that anyone can relate to.... 100 ratings....

Posted 8 Years Ago


Yes, I can relate to this feeling in some way, sometimes it feels like our dreams will not come true, but we must not give up, it may not be like a fairy tale, but you never know. I like the emotion you put into this poem.

Good job

Posted 8 Years Ago


I love the expression here and and the point made. I love the rhyme and the format. But your second stanza is missing a line. It wouldn't matter normally, but in this case I think it does. Because the rest is all there, meter and rhyme. I have poems that make a statement. The statement you are making is a very strong one. But you are simply stating it. Maybe its because I am female, take this to heart, but I was brought up on the knight in shining armour image, and none measure up. It is not a poetry critique but a personal one. I think it should be expanded and feelings and imagery drawn in, again, it isn't a poetry critique. Its a personal one. It is what we are, and someone needs to understand it.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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113 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 25, 2016
Last Updated on February 25, 2016

Author

sam
sam

PA



About
25 year old psychology student and mom. I am an avid reader mostly fantasy and yes even young adult at times. I am always found with my nose in a book. I use to write poetry and slowly getting back in.. more..

Writing