Dad you hurt me

I wrote this when i was 16 and going through a really hard time.

Dad you hurt me can't you see
all the pain you've caused me.

lying still hoping you'll leave
hoping to god this was unseen.

anger building up, tears flowing
through my eyes, but only i could see through your damn lies.

you always wore a mask
so no one could see your face
but only i knew you were fake.

you taunted and teased me
you made me feel ashamed
you got me to lie for you
but i guess thats the price i get paid.

now your gone and is all my fault
i told all the secrets that my heart had withheld.

not knowing why is worse than knowing for not knowing at all hurts now more than ever

i wanted to talk to you
to know how you felt
but all that you gave me
were looks from hell

i miss you, you know
you weren't always bad
you could have got help
and could have stayed around

i need you now more than ever
but no only as my dad

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I'm completely blown away! I would be blown away if you wrote that at your current age of 25, but to have written it at 16 just seems too amazing! What a powerful, perfectly-stated message. Having been abused by my dad, too, I know so many of these feelings & you've expressed it more perfectly than I've ever heard it said. I love the way you've included so much rich detail & reaching deep for your honest feelings. I know how it is when you love & hate a person under these circumstances, all of that came thru. Great piece of writing.

[sam]

Thank you I haven't really written anything like this sense then and now that i am studying Psychology i decided that it was time to put it out there and let others read it.

[Cyndy Robinson]

He was all bad. Period. I am not sure there is help for that. If you look at the statistics for sex offenders counseling does not help, its wired in them, its what excites them. How much worse is it when it deals with incest? Not sure there are statistics for that. Rape is a control issue, whether its an adult or child. Its worse when it is a child, they are defenseless, it is far worse when they are responsible for you. Don't lie for him, and definately don't feel ashamed. It has nothing to do with you. It is all him. I personally am glad he is gone, and hope to hell you blew him away. Someone needed to. Father's would give their life willingly for their children. You never had one. He took a large portion of yours. And who knows what ramifications that will have in the rest of your life. A counselor I am not. I am sorry I can't critique this poem. It pisses me off. I can't believe you miss him. Good riddance.

[sam]

In the end i stood up for myself sadly he started on the other girl in the house but didn't get nearly as far. He was sentenced for 28 months to 16 years and got out two years later due to time served but has to be registered for life. Personally it hurt and still has affects on my relationships but i never turned to drugs and alcohol instead in less than a year i will have my Bachelors in Psychology so that i can help others in my shoes. I wrote this nearly 10 years ago when we were in court because i need some form of an outlet.

[Cyndy Robinson]

I understand, and I should have just shut up. Its a complicated relationship at best. I just can't stand people like that. 2 years is not nearly long enough, but such is our system.

[sam]

oh i completely agree in my eyes they should serve at the very least 16 years but they basically get slapped on the hand yet a man who stole food for his family had to serve 4.