George the Giraffe

This was written on a whim.

His hat on his head

And his head to the floor,

George finds a clue,

“Ha! I’ve found one more!”

 

He snatches up the hair

With a victorious grin.

He holds it aloft

                In the light that’s growing dim.

 

George is a giraffe,

And a detective, to boot!

Fedora on his head,

                He fights for right and truth.

 

He’s right on the tail

Of that feline, Catpone.

The clues all tell

That Al’s finally alone!

 

George grabs his pistol,

                A thirty-eight Special.

He runs out the door,

                Then he trips on the threshold!

 

“WHY, OH WHY, IS THIS THING IN MY WAY?!

                I MUST GET OUT!

                                I MUST NOT STAY!”

 

He jumps from the floor,

                And with a running leap,

He bounds o’er the threshold,

                An Olympic feat!

 

The sound of travel

                By hooves over gravel

Is the one thing heard as George

                Runs at many miles per hour!

 

He runs through town

                At an impressive gallop,

He’s tempted to stop

                By Joe Patti’s for scallops.

 

“NO,” he cries,

                “NO TIME FOR FOOD!

I’M TOO CLOSE TO FINDING

                THAT MISERABLE CROOD!”

“Rather, I’ll swing by Sonic

                For a drink.

Drinks are quicker,

                 And I’m at dehydration’s brink.”

 

 

“Um, yeah can I get a Route 44 Ocean Water?”

 

“Thank you so much. Ah, darn, I don’t have cash. Here, lemme write a check.”

 

 

Now he’s back on the road

                At that impressive gallop.

Drink in hoof,

                No more desire for scallops.

 

He’s approaching the train tracks

                Where the red gates are lowering.

He thinks he can make it,

                But the train’s sound is growing!

 

STILL RUNNING, HE SEES

                THE TRAIN IN HIS PERIPHERAL.

THE CONDUCTOR OF THE TRAIN IS A

                RED FIN PICKEREL!

 

THE FISH SLAMS THE BRAKES

                BUT THE TRAIN KEEPS GOING.

IT SLAMS INTO GEORGE AND…

 

“…AHHHHH!!!!”

 

George awakes with a scream

                From his heart-pounding slumber.

He finds he’s not dead,

                Then hears the roar of thunder.

 

He checks both his hands,

                “Praise Jesus! No hooves!

But golly, what a dream!

                It was grand, ‘tis true.”