ch 1 outside of prymore

as i stand there outside of prymore i see all of my worldly possessions floating in the air. i think back on my life and accomplishments I've had a good life but i'm too old for prymore now ill be better to fade into nothingness. as i stand there i feel a extreme warmth all i see is yellow. i see my friends,family,rivals and every one I've ever known,killed everything fade into nothingness. i smile because i know that i have left a everlasting mark on prymore the seakeyan,the pandora,the stardust,the sekedust,the star clan and all of the charkranoid clans they all have heard of the legendary oyak mussio meakezy. the next time i open my eyes i only see energy water i feel my lungs burning i swim up to the surface. as i break the surface of the water i see dark silhouette of what looks like a person. after i swim over to land i start to catch my breath but then i'm knocked on my knees and surrounded by dark figures. i feel a hot pain where my heart is i look down and see a sword through my heart i pass out. the next time i wake up all i feel is my energy leaving my body. i feel myself being carried by someone i jolt awake and attack whoever is carrying me. i manage to get off there solders but i pass out after that. as i jolt awake i feel restraint's on my limbs i struggle against them. i only cloth over my eyes my seakeyan eyes wont activate so i cant destroy the cloth. i stop struggling when i hear 'stop' and feel a blade sink into my left arm. i feel blood running down my arm i feel my wound heal and my core disappear. as i feel my core fade in and out i start to panic then i hear 'let him go lets talk this out' i think i recognize that voice. i feel the restraints being undone as soon as they are all undone i sit up and try to take off the blindfold but i cant. i feel a button on the back of the mask being pressed and it releases and falls to the ground. as my eyes adjust to the light i only see people with black Armour and a black mask. there are eight of them surrounding me i feel my energy returning to me. i smile and activate my seakeyan level 40 eye's seven of them draw there swords on me. 

Author's Note

I've been in a writing rut and i just got out of it today here is the the first chapter of this story.

Reviews

[Barbara Tennyson]

Well, the basics need some attention: I, the personal singular pronoun is always capitalized. Proper nouns, the names of pets, people and places, are always capitalized. The first word of EVERY SENTENCE is capitalized --see 'the', above.
Basic paragraphing: A paragraph contains ONE thought or ONE character's thoughts, actions and speech. When you change subjects or conclude the idea or shift speakers, START A NEW PARAGRAPH.
Homophones, they're, their and there, for example, need special attention to make sure you're using the correct word. Good luck with this.

[prymore]

thanks for the review and advice