Relieved

We are all-around obedient people. We just do what they tell us. We keep watching TV, reading newspapers, crawling in these internets of yours. All informed and well-read, so to speak.

And so we heard the other day that a new decree was issued from the rulers of our thoughts and purses about universal voluntary-compulsory vaccination. Almost like with self-isolation, only less voluntarily, but in general, not very forceful yet. They even promised some prizes for those who have undergone this medical experiment - almost like in a lottery, but with a one-way ticket that is completely free of charge. Cheap and deep! We were all blessed with free “injections” at the expense of budget funds, previously stolen from the people. It’s good to know that our lords take care of us in a fatherly way, never leaving us alone in trouble.

And what a terrible misfortune, a great disaster, a foreign disease, called Covid, it was! Wow, all sorts of truth-telling experts have been scaring us for a year from our TV screens, describing in various tones all of its numerous symptoms and side effects! These experts - they won’t lie for money, will they? So we think thanks to their efforts.

Even the holy patriarch, the savior of our souls, was telling through TV the other day about that very divine liquid, injected with syringes, and put us on the true spiritual path - medical, bodily one. They say that those who are not vaccinated are sinful before God, are potentially and asymptomatically contagious, and their church-god will never have any mercy on them if they are not vaccinated. He was certainly greatly afraid to get infected by his own flock. Well, God will bless him with a syringe, we hope.

And we are simple people who keep believing in TV first and foremost. Therefore, we gathered immediately as one united, big, poor, and heavily credited family, and went to inject ourselves, getting hooked on a needle, so to speak, as soon as the first news about the opening of vaccination centers came to our truth-telling TV box. After all, if they make the first dose free of charge and care about our salvation, how can you refuse the first prickle, aye?

And so we came as a whole family, who keep trusting the government, to the big trade center, and started looking around in search of that saving spot. A lot of signs and inscriptions of all kinds, sparkling and beckoning, led us by a single prescripted path to that secret place where cosmic ooze was to be injected into our sickly bodies. And how well our heartfelt rulers chose the medical zone - inside trading, buying-selling place, so that the people there wandering in herds, don’t get distracted too much from other important affairs, known as shopping. Simply inject something untested into yourself - and then you can go on shopping and hopping just like a bunny as if nothing had ever transpired. Very coffin-ient!

And thus we quickly marched to that quarantine zone, fenced off with virus-proof inscriptions and advertising stands from the infectious world, all in hopes to firstly take a cosmic, life-saving vaccine from the terrible Covid, and then a photo of ourselves with fingers showing a “V” letter exactly like horns as a sign of approval, and our monkey tails hanging like a pistol. Quickly, as if on an assembly line, we signed all those paper forms, through which our authorities were slyly releasing themselves from the responsibility for possible side effects, and were not even asked at all about the contraindications for the possible use of the vaccine. They were eager with all their soul to save us as soon as possible, most certainly.

And everything at first was going according to the plan, in line with the scenario that the enemies had long thought out, but an unexpected incident happened all of a sudden. Our one-year-old daughter screamed in a bad voice and started struggling in our arms in hysterics when we desired to stick that saving syringe into her too. And while we were trying to calm her down, all of us felt suddenly sick, and our consciousness as if changed for a brief moment. It suddenly started seeming in the turbidity of our minds, as if quarantine zones around the world were being built rapidly, fenced with large walls so that no one could climb over those walls anymore; and people were lying in piles on the ground, truly dead and half-dead; and silently, being afraid to utter a single word, doctors were walking among them, dressed in robes that were black as the night, and the inscription “savior” was written in white letters on those dressings; and they were injecting their syringes into the lying ones, and then the half-dead were stopping turning over and moaning, and deathly silence was filling those zones…

And so we woke up from the consumer’s confusion after seeing these terrible visions. Our head buzzed, started working, our bellies swelled, and something inside them began bubbling, boiling, desiring to get out at all cost. Fortunately, a latrine place was located next to that quarantine zone in the trade center, so there was no need to run far away. And thus we poured out everything that had boiled inside us, relieved ourselves of the burden, so to speak, and didn’t get hooked on the needle completely.

We got relieved to the fullest, friends-enemies. And thus decided to delay the injection of these over-hyped vaccines. And turned off our TV at home temporarily, just in case, for you never know. And stopped eating the noodles that were hung on our ears from it. For, who knows, what can poison and relieve you the next day?

07.07.2021