"Untitled"

A couple songs that make me who I am.

    As the eyes open, someone new is born. Someone different, someone who will go through a hell-of-a-battle of trying to keep a secret. There is more than what meets the eye.

I am the same as everyone else. Until you have broken through all of my shells. Through all of them I look like everyone else, except for one, the innermost shell.

            As I come back to consciousness I realize that it is happening again… Again. As I realize that it is the same as it always has been, I begin to believe that nothing is changing. Nothing will ever be as it is perceived. As I stand up from my chair, where I fell asleep, I look around. It is 5:30 p.m. I think to myself, ugh. Already? My parents are arguing. Again. I listen for a moment, and realize that it is the same reason as always. I feel the anger, sadness, and terror running through my veins. I have been putting up with this longer than I have wanted to.

I turn on my Playstation 3 and begin to look for a song to drown out the yelling, to take me to a happy place, to help me forget everything. I find it, exactly what I am looking for, “The Other Side” by Smile Empty Soul. I start playing the song, and turn it up. Louder than the system can handle, but all I care is that I can’t hear the constant yelling anymore. Throughout the song I am thinking, why? Why me? Why should this happen to anyone? As I start to feel some relief, the song ends. And I feel my veins start to fill with the toxic emotions once again. I start the song again and hope that somehow they will listen to the lyrics, “… you don’t have to scream I can hear you.” Before I can get through the entire song, I decide I just can’t take it anymore!

I open my bedroom door, and start to run. Run to the front door. I just can’t deal with it anymore. I get outside and just keep running, and I tell myself that I am not going to stop running until I start feeling better. I make it about a mile away from my house before I finally feel as though I can think again. I tell myself, I am going to do this every time I have rough emotions because I can never let my emotions get out of hand. I have had many turning points in my life, and to me, every one of them is important.

When I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life I started reading the Twilight books. As I read through the books they opened my eyes to some new things that intrigued me. I had never really read books much, and this new feeling I had while I read through these books was amazing. It took me to a new world. While reading it melted my reality, and took me into the books. This was a crucial time in my life for many reasons, but the biggest one was that I was trying to get a new girlfriend. I think I found “the one” and she seemed to like me too.

I felt as though my life was falling into place, and everything was going to be perfect. I started watching the Twilight movie, and I thoroughly enjoyed the way that the movie made me feel. While watching it I felt like everything was going to be perfect. After the movie I was sitting in my bedroom staring blankly into the ceiling. As I listened to the song “Bella’s Lullaby” by THE Twilight Orchestra, I knew for certain that everything was going to be just as I wanted it to be. Soon reality will come along, and I realize nothing is perfect.

The auditorium is overflowing with people. As I look around, everyone in the audience is dressed up nice and with their family. Looking toward the stage all I can see is blue and gold. It’s graduation for the class of 2011 at Parowan High School. As they start to sing “Live Like We’re Dying” by Kris Allen I see some of my friends up there, and I realize I am not going to be seeing much of them anymore. They are going to go somewhere else for college, and I see that I am going to be the senior now. Soon, I will be the one standing in their place.

When I graduate from this school many things are going to change. Throughout all of high school, I have been more than just a student like those around me. I have been friends with all of the teachers, and I have helped them with any, and all, technology related questions. They have told me that I am more helpful then our computer administrator at Parowan High. Most of them will still be calling me after I graduate when they need help with their computer questions. Every now-and-then they come up to me and say, “What are we going to do without you next year?” I always reply, “You will be just fine without me.” Though they never listen.

When I graduate, everything is going to change. The way I look at things, and the way people treat me. Everything will be different as I approach my future. I will be old enough to make all of my own decisions, and live on my own. The scary part is how will I live on my own, how will I make my own decisions? The way I look at it, I will meet it head on, and won’t look back, and I will never regret anything. Because regretting something is the worst way to live, because you can’t change the past, you can only learn from it.

     That “someone” that was born not too long ago developed differently than anyone could have imagined. Without this one person an entire community would have been affected. Without this one person many things would have been different. All I am glad for is that one person did grow up and develop in this community, because that one person is me. 

Reviews

[Lilmissfit]

This is a very good story and i believe if you were to add more to it, it could be a good book. Its very sad but then again reality can be very much so depressing, I can relate to this story very well and that books are a very good way to block everything out. To my way of thinking twilight books are romance, but not only that, theres an unconditional love in there that captures the person the most, and thats what keeps them read. For Some people who dont fell much love from the people around them, start to search for and read about it in books because its the only thing close enough t0 feeling the real thing.....but thats just my opnion anyhow but good write haha :)