PHOENIX

a short story i wrote for my class. may not be very good but i'm just starting. i just revised this..hope its better

PHOENIX

 

Erin dug through her purse and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, she got herself one out and then pointed the open box toward me to offer me one. I didn’t smoke but I took a cigarette anyway. I filled my lungs with smoke and suddenly I was back in my burning condo. Watching all the things I owned and worked so hard for blackening and turning to ash.

Home was a condo on the 5^th floor of a high rise, foggy with smoke and caving in from flames. Panic should be the first thing that set in but it wasn’t. Instead I stood where I was and watched the chaos around me. Smoke filled my lungs and I coughed, suddenly woken and desperate to find a way out. I dropped down to my knees and crawled around my condo on all fours heading for the only door out. I was too late; fire was already partially consuming the door.

Panic finally set in. That was the only door out and I couldn’t open it. Desperate, I crawled to a window hoping that when I opened it I would have an option other than jumping the five stories to my death. I opened the window and hung my head out of it to get a breath of fresh air. That’s when I saw it. Someone had called the fire department and by opening my window they noticed colorful artwork on my walls and saw that I was trapped in my condo. They quickly maneuvered their ladder over to me and I was saved. As I climbed down the ladder I watched as everything I owned evaporated with the smoke.

After a quick overview by the EMT they decided I suffered no long term damage and told me I wouldn’t need to go to the hospital. A police officer told me not to go anywhere, that he’d have some questions for me. I stood and looked at my soggy condo building. The fire had only consumed a neighbor’s place and mine, leaving the rest of the building relatively untouched.

My neighbor was very beautiful and had only just graduated from college. I had not talked to her before because I was afraid she was in a relationship or wouldn’t be interested, or at least those are the reasons I told myself. Sometimes I just thought it was better to not know. She was standing by my truck with a blanket the fireman wrapped around her and she was crying. I saw her there and thought what the hell. I walked over to where she was standing and put the tailgate down on my truck.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, starting to walk away.

“It’s ok, I was just giving you a place to sit,” I said.

“Thanks,” she said, and sat down.

“You know that was my place next to yours,” I said, taking a seat next to her.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you in and out a few times.”

The police officer came up to where we were sitting and asked to speak to us individually. “Ms. O’Brien,” he said, “let’s start with you.”

They both walked over to his cruiser where they talked for a few minutes. I sat there and stared at her. The wind kept blowing her hair in her face and she would use her pinky to get it out. I noticed she also kind of talked with one side of her mouth more than the other. I didn’t see a ring on her finger and the cop said Ms. not Mrs. so that was a good sign. I guess her last name is O’Brien; I’ll have to remember to ask what her name is, I thought.

The two of them walked back and the cop motioned for me to go with him. He asked me for my name and social security number for a background check. He told me that this was probably just a fire caused by an electrical problem and he was just going through the motions until the investigation was over and he could confirm that. He told me not to leave town in case he had any further questions and let me go on my way.

I walked back over to my truck and Ms. O’Brien was sitting on the tailgate again.

“It’s been a crazy night,” I said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
            “Yeah,” she said, “I’m Erin by the way, what’s your name?”

“Oh, sorry, I meant to ask your name earlier. I’m Craig.”

We continued talking for a while and I found out that she had just moved here from Montana, was a Pharmaceutical sales representative, and she hadn’t spoken to her parents in a year because they chose to travel the world when she left for college. I told her about my job as a software designer and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was young and I was raised by my grandmother.

It didn’t take too long for the weight of reality to set in.

“I had everything in my condo,” I said, more reminding myself than informing Erin.

“Yeah, me too,” Erin said, “do you have anywhere to go?”

For a moment I thought of my friend, Brian, who would probably be more than willing to let me crash with him and his wife for a while, but at that moment I would have rather slept in the street.

“I can probably get a room somewhere. What about you?” I asked.

“I think my insurance company is putting me up in a hotel or something. Maybe we’ll end up neighbors there too.”

This show of affection towards me took me by surprise, and I tried to hide my boyish grin.

#

After my grandmother died I didn’t know what to do. Her husband had left her when my mother was still young and she had to work 3 jobs just to get by. When my parents died she didn’t hesitate in taking me in, she had learned how to spend wisely and had a little money saved up. She worked every day until her last week when she was in the hospital.

I guess to get my mind of her death I surrounded myself with work and focused on improving everything. When I wasn’t working I was cleaning or buying new things for my condo. When I wasn’t doing that I was at the gym, improving myself. It got to a point where I had a pretty nice life. My condo was clean and respectable, furnished with only the finest: leather couch from Italy, fine china from France, art from the obscure names of people around the world, it was all there.

You know that saying, money can’t buy you happiness? I think someone interrupted the guy before he added,” just kidding”. Ask anyone without money and they will tell you it’s a load of s**t. My grandmother sometimes struggled to pay the bills and taught me that having money meant worrying less. There in my condo I always had enough for the bills and enough left over to surround myself with whatever I wanted. I was happy. That’s when she moved in.

#

The first time I saw her I was getting on the elevator and she was getting off. The first thing I noticed was her dark red hair, kind of maroon, followed by her light blue eyes. I stood in the elevator holding the open door button long enough to see her enter the condo next to mine, she was pretty thin but just thick enough to let you know she was healthy. I knew I had to meet her.

The next day was a Saturday and I didn’t have work. I planned on stopping by her place after my morning run to introduce myself and maybe ask her out for coffee or something. I got off the elevator, slightly panting from the run, and pulled my ear buds out of my ears and started to wrap them around my iPod. When I reached the door, though, I made a terrible mistake. I started to think.

S**t, I thought. I’m trying to get with this girl and her first impression of me is going to be me standing at her door all sweaty and in my jogging clothes. She’ll probably think I’m just a tool trying to impress her with the fact that I work out. Or worse, she’ll think that I’m arrogant enough that it doesn’t matter what I look like, that she’ll fall in love with me anyway. I went into my place next door instead and began browsing the internet for a new coffee table.

#

            My grandmother would sometimes take me out to department stores with her. We would just walk around and she would show me all the nice things that she dreamed about. We never bought anything, she would just like to go and sit on the sofas and day dream. Now that I’m older I realize that these things weren’t even that extravagant. She was just so used to not having any money that she was happy just to dream every now and then.

#

The next day, Sunday, I took a quick shower and got dressed. I’ll just play it cool, I thought, be myself. I walked out and next door and stood in front of her door. I looked at the peephole and panicked. I ducked down and sat on the floor with my back on her door. I couldn’t figure out why this was so hard. I had everything going for me, a nice job, respectable place, and a good education.  I sat there just long enough to realize that if she were to open the door and find me that way I would lose any chance of a date. She would think of me as the creepy guy next door. Again, I went back into my condo. For the first time since my grandmother passed away I felt incomplete.

I could buy things that made my apartment look nice. I could buy exercise equipment to make my body the media’s definition of attractive, but I couldn’t buy companionship. Sure I had friends, but I wanted her. I can’t buy her. I didn’t even know why I really wanted her. Sometimes I just thought it was because I couldn’t have her. Then I would see her again in passing and just know that I was in love. I guess the guy who said money can’t buy you happiness had met her, because before her I was happy.

#

            One summer I got a paper route and saved every penny I earned to buy my grandmother a gift. I had always wanted to since she worked so hard every day and never got any of the nice things she often looked at. At the end of the summer I had saved enough to get this really pretty gold lamp that had decretive swirls carved into it. I remembered her looking at this particular lamp from the store; she would move it to an end table that was on display to see what it would look like sitting there.

            I took the lamp home and wrapped it. Then I set it on the coffee table so she would see it when she got home. When she walked through the door she noticed it right away. When she opened it I saw her eyes get shiny with tears. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to. She took the lamp and sat it on the table beside her favorite rocking chair. She had the biggest smile I had ever seen, until she plugged it in. the light was so dim that unless all the other lights in the room were turned off you wouldn’t even know it was on. She told me it sure was a beautiful lamp, but nothing was ever as good as what you imagine.

#

            A couple weeks went by and I still had not talked to her. I stopped working out and hadn’t bought anything new since that first time I tried to talk to her. I also stopped answering calls from my friends and missed a lot of work. I was a wreck, and all because of this girl.

            Before I stopped answering calls Brian told me that no b***h was worth getting so tore up about, of course, this guy also met his wife while in high school and married into her incredibly rich family. I hadn’t seen him sad since the wedding and I don’t think it was just a coincidence. Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but it’s harder to be happy without it. That’s when I decided I was better off figuring things out on my own than asking my friends.

            I spent most of my time sitting and staring at the wall that separated our condos. Imagining what she was doing on the other side. I don’t know why I loved her, but I hated her for it. I hated that even without knowing me she had so much control over me.

#

I guess my friend got worried about me and showed up at my place one Friday afternoon. 

“Craig, what the hell are you doing?” he said, “I know you’re tore up about this girl but you’ll never make it better sitting in here all the time. Come on let’s go out.”

“I don’t know, Brian. My confidence is shot. I just don’t feel like I know anything anymore,” I said, going into the kitchen and getting a drink from the fridge.

“Well that’s the perfect reason to go out. Come on, I guarantee you’ll meet a girl that will make you forget all about that chick next door.”

I eventually agreed and went with him to a bar a few blocks over. Half an hour and a couple of beers went by when Brian nudged me and motioned to the door. A smoking hot blonde was walking in and heading for the other end of the bar.

“Go for it, man,” Brian said and took a drink from his beer, “I bet your neighbor doesn’t look like that.”

I made a half laugh sound under my breath, “Yeah, but I don’t know. What makes you think I can talk to her when I can’t talk to my neighbor?”

“Come on, you won’t know if you don’t try. I’ll make a bet with you, if you go up and talk to her and she totally blows you off I’ll give you a hundred bucks.”

“Yeah right” I said, and Brian pulled out a hundred dollar bill and laid it on the bar. “Alright I’ll do it, but I better get that hundred when I get back.”

I stood up and chugged the rest of my beer before walking over to her side of the bar.

“You saving that for anyone?” I asked, motioning to the stool beside her.

“No, go ahead,” she said.

I sat down beside her and looked across the bar at Brian giving me the thumbs up.

“So, are you waiting for someone?” I said, trying to make small talk.

“No, I just like to stop in here after work sometimes for a drink before I go home,” she said and took a sip from what I thought looked like some kind of fruity green martini. “What about you?”

“My friend made me come,” I said and pointed to Brian across the bar, who was now talking on his cell phone. “What’s your name?”
            “Kimberly, what’s yours?”

“Craig,” I said and ordered another beer.

We started making small talk and after a few minutes I could feel my confidence coming back. After about half an hour went by I looked up and noticed that Brian was gone.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, noticing that I was now looking around.

“Nothing really,” I said, “I think my friend ditched me though.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure he’s fine,” she said, “Besides, that means we can get out of here and get to know each other a little better.”

She got up and pulled on my arm for me to get up too. I knew I could do this, I thought, and for the first time in weeks I forgot all about my neighbor.

I unlocked the door to my place and let Kimberly in. “This is it,” I said, flipping on the 40” plasma screen TV with the ambient light effect to a scene of a fireplace burning. The ambient light was absolutely pointless, just showing a color on the wall behind the TV similar to what was on the screen, but I had to have every feature available.

“Wow, Brian never told me you had such a nice place,” she said.

“Thanks, I tr…” I stopped mid sentence, realizing what she said, and my heart sank, “wait, I never told you my friend’s name.”

Kimberly’s expression went from happy and seductive to panic in the blink of an eye. I could tell she knew she had messed up.

“Yeah, I think you did,” she said.

“No, I’m sure I didn’t.How do you know him?”

Kimberly stood there for a second looking at me.

“I’m friends with his sister,” she finally said. “Look; I didn’t want to hurt you. Brian just told me you were having a hard time and I wanted to help.”

“How much did he offer you?” I asked.

“A hundred bucks,” she said.

It made sense. The money he bet me was gone regardless of if she talked to me or not. Brian was such a dick. He wasn’t satisfied just buying his own happiness; he tried to buy mine too. I was more pissed that he thought I couldn’t do it myself than I was that he had tried to buy my happiness.

“I think you’d better go.” I said, my face starting to get hot from hate.

Kimberly walked towards the door.

“For what it’s worth…I think you’re a really nice guy,” she said before closing the door behind her.

For a moment I thought about calling Brian and yelling at him, but I couldn’t. I was so mad. He set this whole thing up because he thought I couldn’t get a girl on my own. Well, who needs friends like that, I thought.

I grabbed a bottle of the strongest liquor I had in the house and took it with me to the living room. Pacing with the bottle in my hand I was so mad I didn’t know what to do. I had thought I was mad at Brian and Kimberly, but I was mad at being reminded of my neighbor again. For the little time I spent talking to Kimberly I had not thought about my neighbor, and now she was the only thing on my mind again. I hated her. Not the opposite of love kind of hate, but the love’s evil twin kind of hate. I had grabbed the bottle hoping to drink until I couldn’t feel anymore. But instead the rage building inside me got so intense that I threw the bottle as hard as I could against the wall I had stared at for so long. The bottle shattered on impact right next to the TV soaking the wall and part of the TV with alcohol and littering the floor with glass. For a moment I was worried that my neighbor had heard the noise, then immediately hated myself for worrying so much about it.

“S**t,” I said, already thinking of having to buy a new TV.

What happened next seemed to happen all at once and in a blur. I started to walk towards the kitchen to get a broom and towel to clean up. I heard a noise and turned around. Light radiated from the TV like the ripple in a pond leaving a trail of flames on the wall and spilling onto the carpet. For a moment while the TV was still working it had looked as if the fire on the screen escaped and crept its way into my condo. I started to sweat. I would later find out that the intense heat plasma TVs are known for caused the alcohol to quickly evaporate and an arc of electricity was formed due to a common flaw in the ambient light systems causing the evaporated alcohol to ignite.

I stood where I was, paralyzed at the shock of seeing all of my possessions on fire in front of me. I didn’t know what to do, so I stood and watched. The room rapidly became cloudy with smoke, I could hear the alarms begin to click on and scream through the hallways. I could feel the smoke gradually filling my lungs, more and more with each breath.

#

            I started to cough, the smoke tickling my throat. I guess it’s just something you get used to when you start smoking. Erin and I sat in silence for a while smoking, and I coughed less and less with each inhale. It was the first time for as long as I can remember when I didn’t worry too much about my health.

            I looked over at Erin, who was still staring up at the hole in the side of the building that she used to call home, and wondered why it had been so hard to talk to her. She sure was beautiful, but when I talked to her she wasn’t all that interesting. There were a lot of awkward silences and we really didn’t have much in common. I was upset that I no longer loved Erin, but more upset to find out that she was my gold lamp.

Author's Note

this is my second attempt...hope it's alright