Ruthless life

let yourself free i`ve broken all the rules of literature....make yourself comfortable in the world of thoughts and reat it..

I was fallen apart, no way to go

my life haunting me

I was the helpless prey lyieng low

The sneaking world was with the fact
That the ''ruthless lìfe'' has chosen you
Your bad dreams often assaulted me
Every moment I was loosing you

The dreary nìghts the savage fights
I still remember the sound of the broken vase and the shattering glaas


Those broken strings of guitar
Those love songs,those mellow rhymes
I'm left with nothing just the memories of past times

The empty side of my bed, hawling out at me
The wet pillow show no mercy
And punished me wIth sleepless nights and i'm lying so lonley

The bursting fear inside me
Is repeling me with everything that belongs to you
I want them but can't have them
The life is so grmacide at me

Reviews

[Black]

I love these sentences

The dreary nìghts the savage fights
I still remember the sound of the broken vase and the shattering glaas

should be glass though
re read it:)


it is so sad
and so hearth breaking
here and there a few word mistakes
and grammar
but im sure you can fix them yourself!
it really is hearthbreaking
and may it never happen to you ,

Regards

Stay Blessed

Black

[TheElfPrincess]

There were a few mistakes, I think. Fallen should be falling and I'm not sure if grmacide is a word. Overall it was a very good poem, full of emotion and flow. The sadness was well written. A good work.

[Megan]

I"ve been playing guitar for 8 years and that line "Those broken strings of guitar/ Those love songs, those mellow rhymes/ I'm left with nothing just memories of past times" really got me. So amazing :) you're description was great and I could really feel what you were feeling in this! Oh and "the empty side of my bed, hawling out at me" that really caught me too. I hope these bad feelings don't linger though..I wish people didn't have to feel bad things and write about them. Thank you for sharing once again and I look forward to reading the next one!

[Tasha]

This was such a strong story and sad tale. Wonderful write.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[Linear]

A tale of love lost, empty heads and empty beds.the trail to love is littered with bones of other ones, yet we all think it won't get me, won't hurt me, then it does, hearts in two, broken but not beyond repair.

[Coyote Poetry]

A poem with a strong and sad tale. Easy to fall into a life where kindness and mercy is none. I could feel the pain and sadness in this powerful story in the poem. A strong ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote