Ruthless life

let yourself free i`ve broken all the rules of literature....make yourself comfortable in the world of thoughts and reat it..

I was fallen apart, no way to go

my life haunting me

I was the helpless prey lyieng low

The sneaking world was with the fact
That the ''ruthless lìfe'' has chosen you
Your bad dreams often assaulted me
Every moment I was loosing you

The dreary nìghts the savage fights
I still remember the sound of the broken vase and the shattering glaas


Those broken strings of guitar
Those love songs,those mellow rhymes
I'm left with nothing just the memories of past times

The empty side of my bed, hawling out at me
The wet pillow show no mercy
And punished me wIth sleepless nights and i'm lying so lonley

The bursting fear inside me
Is repeling me with everything that belongs to you
I want them but can't have them
The life is so grmacide at me

Reviews

[Black]

I love these sentences

The dreary nìghts the savage fights
I still remember the sound of the broken vase and the shattering glaas

should be glass though
re read it:)


it is so sad
and so hearth breaking
here and there a few word mistakes
and grammar
but im sure you can fix them yourself!
it really is hearthbreaking
and may it never happen to you ,

Regards

Stay Blessed

Black

[Pritesh]

You did a commendable job! I heard it like one breath expression, which comphrensively engulfed my heart.The short and simultaneous references (breaking of vase...) to the expression were adorable.The lasting effect of solitude worth admires your effort.....keep writing.
Regards,
pritesh

[Sindhuja Seshadri]

This is a powerful poem and conveys the magnitude of your emotions. Pay a little more attention to your grammar and orthography and it will be perfect!

Regards,
Sindhuja

[Lucia Morgan]

I like this because you have taken a common subject but approached it from a completely different light and way of describing/expressing that it feels fresh and captivating. It's detached but dramatic....like looking back at a past memory/scar.

did you intend to use a taylor swift lyric line about the tear drop on the guitar thing? I guess your from another continent, nevermind.

You SHOULD touch it up. grammer and capitalizzzzzing and such. :)

[Daniel Thomas Andrew Da..]

Very dramatic. Grammar needs a lot of work, but if that is the way you like it........... It wasn't boring, maintained my interest, but a little heavy. An ok effort. Daniel

[Chris]

You carry the feel through the work...
and some words NEED to be made from the air
when reality just doesn't 'include' them...

Chris

[AngelAfterlife]

I love this. It truly shows the pain and sadness within your soul. Very powerful.

xoxo

-AngelAfterlife

[MYSELF]

PRODICAL,
The starting of the the poem held me as it says
"I have fallen apart, no way to go"
my life haunting me
clearly the inner contradictions of a person is seen as he finds himself helpless in this situation.

The agony and pain of life withheld by the lover remembering the past is a true mark of his suffering

The work is great and yet there were some typing errors or might it had been that way doesnt affect the meaning of the work..

Last line if what i am able to make out is
"THE LIFE IS SO
'GRIMACED'
AT ME"
makes it even more powerful.

In my sense making I thought the word as GRIMACED but if I am wrong please do let me know as I am not familiar with what GRIMCIDE meant??

Nevertheless another good piece of writing from you enjoyed this too..

Keep going
:D

MYLIFE

[Alexander Mccarthey]

I love this part: "Your bad dreams often assaulted me Every moment I was loosing you" it makes me think of a lover who takes out their problems and insecurities on their mate. You have such wonderful imagery, keep it up!

[Siddharth T]

Amazing! I can feel the stinging pain in the poem...

Brilliant work!

[Thea]

You write well...The poem seems sad but anyway, that's what makes it beautiful...Nice write.. :)