Princess and her dream

A princess dreams about the guy she adores not knowing why she's dreaming of him

A princess dreams about the guy she adores not knowing why. She's seen him before in a show he's really popular all over the world. When she dreams she's really happy, they look so close nearly in love, he smiles hugely at her while she gives him the same look, they have fun like little kids. He shows her a good time having freedom no problem at all, they seem to have chemistry like they've met before, see loves him more than anything and loves him like the world, she doesn't know why she's dreaming if him all the time. They seem really close nearly in love. He shows her freedom and so much happiness that nothing in the world can break them apart. She loves him more than anything she feels like they've met before, the way he is with her is best friends and really close, they fool around and laugh having no worry, she dreams of him at night not knowing why , she's looking for answers on why she's dreaming of him.. She wants help knowing why she's having these dreams.

Reviews

[Danielle]

I got your request to review this, so here goes. This reads more like a quick synopsis of a work in progress. You need to provide "scenes" that show, rather than tell, the emotions and general view of these characters. There are a few repeated lines which tend to take away from the piece instead of adding to it. Especially in poetry it is more important sometimes to let it be real but also give it depth, meaning, some kind of symbolism that evokes the emotion it's showing. I hope you edit and revise this since the subject is very sweet and endearing. Hope this review is what you were looking for as this piece has been thoroughly reviewed and I don't believe I'm adding anything new. As always, return the favor :) Keep writing!

[jb]

These words are true! Great job!

[Don't just B, but B ama..]

Good stuff, keep it going. So deep in love yet she is alone, she never wants to wake up, her favorite place to be. Great idea, I agree with others though, put more into it, bring life to these characters and instead of portraying how she is feeling and thinking make us readers feel it as if it is us. Great work, don't stop writing.

[JC]

feels very real and sweet.

[I Am Svetlana]

I feel like some point in our lives, we all dream about someone we haven't met and don't understand why. I like the mystery in this...the adventure in trying to find them and see how try also feel about you deep down. Of course, there is some minor work and changes that need to be made, but nothing too drastic. I feel you have a pretty good outline here and plot. Now, you just gotta organize and cut out certain things to tell the story clearer, but who says this couldn't be a form for a poem? That's the good thing about constructive criticism, people give their opinions on changes and it's your choice if you want to use them or not. But I do love this story and the meaning behind it. Very heartfelt and romantic!

[Elena]

Yea, i know i saw the whole writing!, i didn't realize it until 6 months ago, i ACTUALLY wrote this on my iPhone and somehow it auto corrected it self, but thanks for the feedback!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Very romantic, and full of emotion.
Beautiful story, of two people meant to be of a very strong love.
Great write :)

[A. Amos]

I enjoyed your poem good write....

[00000000000000000000000..]

I think its a good write, I saw one thing wrong and its easy to do:)see loves him more than anything ,You meant to say she not see. I also read what every1 said, It reads as a story and lay out like a story. We all have a bad habit saying more not less he he:) I saw something you had said as well and its a no no! Don't force a write don't push it allow it to flow write as if you are writing to that one sweep you off your feet paint an image see that image. Just breath:) the rest will come:)

[Elena]

thanks!, but the thing it i wrote this on my iPhone and since it has autocorrect, it changes so i didn't even realize it till i rewrote it!! :)

[0000000000000000000000000000]

Lol you remind me of some1 else I know, she is a phone writer as well, Shakes my head with a giggle:)

[Elena]

haha sorry :), i have autocorrect so thats why its miss spelled

[0000000000000000000000000000]

Its ok:) lol

[Elena]

but thanks!

[MoriartyMesa]

I felt that there was some need of separation of wording and emotion.

There are parts the felt halted, but the over all explanation is nice. One or three more edits might be needed, I am not expert. My work is all Vodka and THC fueled, but this had a something that needs to be heard.

Keep it up, feel free to send me your stuff so I may keep abreast.

[ayele marie dalmeida]

Maybe it because they are suppose to be together, that's why she kept having having those dreams . I think..
Anyways this is very sweet and makes you feel like your there too.
Thanks for sharing ,I enjoyed it:-)

[Rob Santana]

Dreams can be so bizarre at times, yet they can also be full of interpretation and meaning. Weird huh? Nice write.