“i love the stars,” i whisper as i lean out of my car window, straining to see the sky through the artificial light of humanity.
“i love the stars,” i say as i try to decipher the artwork that God has painted across the neverending canvas above me.
“i love the stars,” i cry, as i wonder how God can create something so beautiful, wishing he would have given me some of the beauty.
“i love the stars,” i say, when asked about myself. when asked why, i realize i love the reminder of the constant beauty around me.
i forget about the stars for a time. i found the beauty in him, i no longer believed i needed the stars to see the constant of it. but when i see the ugliness, the part that makes him a human being, i get scared.
“i love the stars,” i whisper as i look into his eyes… and realize there is no such thing as constant beauty in a person. i don’t only love the stars...
i need the stars.
Omg, I really loved reading this poem. It beautifully written, and really well paced. My word of advise would be to maybe put the last line, 'i need the stars,' in a different stance all by itself. That way it would create more emphasis. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem, and it was really well written.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
thank you so much! that’s a really good idea too, so thank you
i enjoyed reading this! the narrator seems to be an interesting person, maybe naive, and i'd like to know more about them. also interesting perspective on what makes a human being. the only relatively negative thing i would say about your poem is that it kind of feels unfinished to me.