Life in general

Why do people have to change?
I mean, sometimes change is a good thing, right?
Especially considering the person I was last year (pre-change). To put things in perspective, last year I would have given ANYTHING to be the person i am today.  Which is really saying something, because there isn't anything significant about me now, much less then.  But still.
I don't know what i was expecting, i still do the exact same thing everyday, but something about this pattern is different.
Maybe it's because i'm happier.
Or i can find joy in life.
Either way, it's better.
I try to stay away from thoughts that make me feel insignificant.
In other words, reality.
Because one of the few reasons i'm still here is because i'm human.  No matter how bad things get, i still have hope (as corny as that sounds).
But it's true.  If i hadn't hoped that things would get better, that i could BE, not just dream that person, then i might not be here.
I've heard that killing yourself is one of the most selfish things you can do, but is it really?
Let's be honest here, you live and die, and maybe live on or reincarnate, i don't know. But what does any of it matter?
Sure, you have family and friends that will miss you, if your lucky.  But they'll move on, and anyways it's not like you have a huge fandom mourning your memory. Because your average, and very rarely will your life make an impact.  Sure, it'll depress some people, (that is if you were a good person at all), but i'm thinking on a global scale, because i'm that kind of person.
A hardcore pessimist, you might say.
And seeing the glass half empty spreads like wildfire.
Or AIDS.
But that's beside the point i'm trying to make, which is that people changing can make your time here downright miserable.
Take marriage, for example.
If you married, or are in a committed relationship, you'll understand.
Neither of which i am, but i spend a lot of time with people who are, so i can ALMOST relate.
Maybe i'm just mature for my age.
Yes i am 14.
I've never had a boyfriend, because people change their minds.
And their idiots, either way.
So maybe i will do something.  I've still got time.
But then again, things could change.
Then it's back to the drawing board.