no idea

I am trying to rewrite my story opener. threw together a few ideas.....maybe you could tell me which one sounds more interesting?

OPENING #1

“Ok, Jason. You are on point. You kick in the door, cover left, and I will take right.”

Jason triggered the door charge and the portal caved in with an impressive bang that knocked desks over and threw desktop computers across the room. Several armor clad men, Jason included, stormed into the room, weapons drawn. Their military precision completely failed when they saw the only person standing in the wreckage wore long black robes and carried what looked like a flashlight.

Jason watched in horror as the robed figure turned around, brandishing a sword made of crackling energy, and sprang at his teammates. In seconds, one of his teammates had fallen, cut to pieces, but Jason still heard him swearing over his headset.

He fired at the whirling figure, but the bolts from his energy rifle didn’t affect the apparition in the slightest. His team scattered, trying to find cover, but the swordsman was everywhere, hacking and cutting down his team with ease. He could only grimace as his friends screamed their last words.

“Goddamnit, I was just promoted!”

F*****g energy swords? How did they get energy swords?”

Jason, tell your mom I loved her!”

Jason snickered as the game over screen flashed, showing their team had lost. He took off his headset and raised his voice, so the other squad could hear him from where they were playing in the other room.

“You guys suck, you know that? I want a rematch!”

All he heard from across the hall was laughter.

 

OPENING #2

“Jackhammer, this is Assassin 3-1, adjust fire, over.”

Jason’s radio quickly silenced as the other members of his team quit talking. He was calling for a strike, and no one wanted to interrupt the procedure.

“Assassin 3-1, Jackhammer. Adjust fire, out.”

“Grid Whiskey Charlie three four six eight two two eight one, over.”

The Fire control center responded to the location of the target by repeating it.

“Target is personnel in the open, one vehicle. Request low yield, one round, over.”

The mortar team, positioned on top of a nearby barracks building, quickly fired.

“Shot out, over.”

Jason nodded, even over the radio. “Shot out, out.”

He concentrated on the group of soldiers he was trying to target. The round fired was soaring through the air now, and would land in seconds. His radio crackled.

“Splash out, over.”

That was the command that impact was soon, and he tightened his grip on his binoculars.

“Splash out, roger.”

The round fired actually landed on top of the vehicle, and the soldiers flattened themselves on the ground. Jason nearly shouted into the radio.

“Fire for effect!”

Now that the mortar team knew their rounds were on target, they started firing as fast as they could. The water balloons crashed down on the soldiers, and they either ran for cover covered in water, or started swearing loud enough to be heard all the way across the parking lot.

Jason smiled and lowered the binos, then gave a thumbs up gesture to the three soldiers manning the water balloon slingshot on the roof next to him. They were still firing the last of the water balloons they had stockpiled on the roof, but each one was laughing and yelling good natured insults at their targets.

 

Author's Note

trying to make a hook. which one sounds more interesting?