Aromatic Girl

This is my first attempt to write a story. This is only a very small part. Would like feedback. Thank you.

Thick in battle i and mine do fight, on horseback both. I am

trying to reach her, a sword in my hand slashing maiming, taking

of arms, heads come off with just one blow so sharp thy sword

Blood pouring, streaming covers you. Cries of mercy kill kill

Moans of wounded noise, noise of battle ground bloody hell

I must reach my Aromatic girl, further, she seems away

from me. Each time I near, seems she’s further away. On and on

we fight until night fall, exhausted tied battle seems won. I

look up, there to my right she upon her mount covered from

head to toe covered in blood, so much so it is congealed upon

her fine dress and flesh.

 

She seems dazed upon her horse so many killed wounded falls

Walking dead soon to be, but she rides to finish them off. Oh’

she dismounts sword in hand leans over there sad moaning

bodes, takes hold, one swoop with her sword his head in her

hand holding high blood pours forth gushing from torso

Head dipping she holds her prize takes what’s left of warm

dripping red blood into her open mouth. Calls out with a

victory cry, she takes a spear places it in the ground

then her victorious trophy on top, so gruesome  

.All that evening she’s looking for those not dead yet, she

finishers of her maimed, some call for mercy too late. her

sword her answer, she strips bodes cuts of arms, legs, even

their manhood, with one hand she holds pulls, there still alive

laughing she draws her knife down to the genitals a cry triumph

Poor sods, then she takes her sword, cries of joy one clean cut head,

Always calling her goddess Lilith. One sees this bloody land

 swimming in a red sea. Walking on body parts

Reviews

[A. Amos]

As a first story good try, Would come back to read more of your work...