This is a Than-Bauk. The Than-Bauk is Burmese and has Three lines, four syllables each. And the fourth, third and second syllables respectively all rhyme.
It's a bright day as I lay here with gay memories
Watching the trees as the breeze play with teasing arms.
Flowers at brink of rosed pink; dipped in ink of hues.
In azured skies Butterflies flit With ties of love.
Knowing that life though with strife, is still rife with BEAUTY.
Interesting write...I was unaware of this verse form...A good attempt...The picture accompanying the poem is also very nice...Perhaps the use of all that colour in the lines was unwarranted...Also, I feel the grammar is off in a couple of places. You've made use of good imagery, but I feel it can be done better...There have been so many poems written on nature over centuries, so in order to establish your uniqueness, I feel you must add that special ingredient of your own, which I found missing here.
Nevertheless, its a good poem...you can only get better with time...Keep writing... :)
I'm unaware of this writing before...so thanks for sharing it..this one is beautifully written...this poem has more sense then it looks to you...it seems that you have good knowledge.../Great...keep writing:)
Interesting write...I was unaware of this verse form...A good attempt...The picture accompanying the poem is also very nice...Perhaps the use of all that colour in the lines was unwarranted...Also, I feel the grammar is off in a couple of places. You've made use of good imagery, but I feel it can be done better...There have been so many poems written on nature over centuries, so in order to establish your uniqueness, I feel you must add that special ingredient of your own, which I found missing here.
Nevertheless, its a good poem...you can only get better with time...Keep writing... :)
you have an in depth knowledge of poetry it seems ... everything right from the picture to the coloured fonts set the tone for your write ... a cheerful , hopeful write from a bubbly girl !!
A happy-go-lucky rebel, i like doing things my way : that is the different way. I am creative and like trying out new stuff : There's hardly anything in which I am not interested. Plus point ? : I HAV.. more..