The Magnetic Separation

The lusture is your reflection. . .

The warmth in the eyes, on thinking of what it ought to be. The last string of a glimpse you'd always want to have. The words you wished, rolled slowly into your ears. The magnetic separation, as you walk away. Feet not heeding the heart. Fortified in coldness, Yet melting down deep within.

Even when you tread away , all I can hear is your footsteps airing closer. Few yards away, but hearts are light years apart. That hauteur, that lordliness in your gait reveals how weak you are in your knees. The world around you seems beautiful. The world is kind to you because you are kind to them. With watery eyes, you pretend to smile.

Trapped in grief , You can’t take this sham of felicity anymore. Knowing that my presence is incinerating the last remains of patience in you. You find a lonely corner to vent. I lose my eye on you. You return with your cheeks still wet. The moisture stiffens your face to a stubborn coldness. I look away knowing that I’m the only reason for your sorrow. I know you’ve made up your mind as much as I know I’ve wronged you. I know that the thread once broken can never be made to what it was before. I know that even if we tie the broken ends, the knot will not let the thread be as smooth as before. Defeat makes men fearless.

I finally gather the courage to walk up to you. You stiffen on seeing me draw closer. I hold your clenched fist and with fire stare into your eyes. You return the gesture with utter subtleness. We share the angriest of distances. Without an expression you ask me to withdraw. I hold you closer for one more moment, exchanging a wrath of emotions midst the madness. Then I leave, without wanting to leave. I blaspheme, without wanting to swear. I turn around and smirk, mocking myself. The hollowness inside makes me have no idea of what I want. Yes I won in life, but lost in You.

To get that innocence back on your face, to get back the rustle of your dress in my ears. To get back that fragrance vapouring from the warmth of your skin. To once more breathe the same air as you do. To once more gaze into your eyes, only to travel into the depths of your soul. . .

 

 

Why is it that we end up doing things that we thought we’d never do. Why is it that we are forced into believing, what we once thought was wrong. Why do we have questions that we don’t wish to have answers to. Why can’t we decipher the rationale behind the decisions we took earlier. Why do we lament what we ended.

Its only when you’ve lost everything, Do you realise the value of something. . .

 

 

 

Pranav Malhotra

Author's Note

wrote this note sitting in a chilly hotel room in Mussoorie when I was 18.
Came across it while going through my old diaries.

Reviews

[tuvi]

exceptionally good work for an 18 year old ... Well I'm not being age biased here ... but yes its amazing ...
its commendable how people write such good stuffs ..and I love to read and enjoy their work ..
I'm glad to have got the opportunity to read through your work !!

Good one Dude !!

Tuvi

[Prritiy]

Its wow guess the chill caught and held your soul along with some other pain.
It has been written with depth in feelings.
liked the write.

[❤ Maggie ❤..]

This was beautiful. You are such an amazing writer, I am in awe everytime I read a new piece of yours. This was absolutely perfect. It is so very ture, as well. You don't realize what you have until it slips out of your hands. Well, done. Wonderful job.

[TL Boehm]

Without an expression you ask me to withdraw. I love the way you've used the physical stances of the two to convey the emotion. Well penned. Especially for 18. I've been putting up some of my old stuff here. Nothing like this. Its all shallow fare. Well done.

[Kristin Lee]

Loss often does make things seem more valuable, particularly loved ones. This was a very interesting write up. I enjoyed reading on this topic from the male perspective. The voice came across as charming but was also humble and a little insecure. You could feel the want, and the need, but also the longing to cross the gap that had grown between them.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

So true... In losing something, we often realize how important it actually was. It's like not being able to appreciate the sweet until we have tasted the bitter. I like your narrative voice in this, quite disarming in a good way.

[Rhianne Ney]

I love the last line and I do agree with that. Because sometimes people tend to pretend not to care about the people or the things that matter to them. Well, for one, nothing lasts forever. There's still a time when we all have accept that it will all disappear. And that's the only time we regret everything.

Nice write~

[Pranav Malhotra]

thank you so much

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome

[Marie]

We are always trapped by regrets. "The moving gfinger writes...and having writ moves on..."

[Pranav Malhotra]

it surely does,

[Rita L. Sev]

"Why is it that we end up doing things that we thought we’d never do. Why is it that we are forced into believing, what we once thought was wrong..."

Pranav, your pieces make the mind and heart go to so many deep places. Even at 18, you had wisdom beyond your age. The questions you put forth are worthy of thought, and it is not only wise to explore them, but enlightening. Your closing line, a common life lesson, but the perfect conclusion to this work.

[Pranav Malhotra]

thank you so much Rita,
It was a indeed a phase in my life. Perhaps I had to pour it somewhere.
This note was hence a vent. . .
thanks again

[KAOlmsted]

I'm sure those diaries aren't THAT old ;-)

I know forty year old men who cannot articulate themselves as well on this subject as an eighteen year old Pranav Malhotra. You learned something valuable at that tender age, a lesson that was most assuredly hard earned. When we trifle with the emotions of others for our own caprice, we often find ourselves just as hurt, if not more so, than those we injured with our foolish words and/or actions.

"I know that the thread once broken can never be made to what it was before. I know that even if we tie the broken ends, the knot will not let the thread be as smooth as before." --I love this, so much (although, I have to confess, I really hate the word "that" used in this context...it adds nothing to the sentence which, to me, sounds better without it...it's a pretty useless word when used in this context. If you can read the sentence without the "that" and it still makes sense, it would be wise to drop it completely ;-) I am on a campaign to end the use of the word "that" in this bloody awful context *laugh*)

And this: "Why do we lament what we ended." You had much wisdom five years ago when you were eighteen ;-)

I enjoyed this so much, in a bittersweet way, because it really touched a nerve for me, having been a person who, foolishly, made a poor decision that ended up hurting someone I cared for deeply and, also, having been hurt by the foolish actions of someone I, mistakenly, believed cared deeply for me...I don't know if I could have summed up those feelings as well as you have.

Always, a true pleasure reading your work. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

[Pranav Malhotra]

Oh duly noted, madame.
Its always an honor to have your lovely detailed review. I really appreciate the constructive inputs. Ah, and the motivation, you give me to keep going.
Thanks a ton Kimmer. I was 18 and even though it seems trivial now, the reference to the note is remote. As always I write only when I really feel like.

Thank you so much.

P.S :- I refrained from using the word "that" in this reply.

Cheers. :)

[KAOlmsted]

My absolute pleasure, and thanks for that ;-)