The Abyss between two ears

It takes a courage to stare at my face in a tossed up brown glass of scotch. Sip by sip as the poison slowly consumes me. To some, the tonic helps push away sorrow. To others it pulls out woeful memories from happy yesterdays. But for me, the poison doesn't laugh or cry. Neither does it make me forget worries in a momentary celebration, nor does it drown my cheerful spirits into melancholic memories. Sitting alone, the dim lit corner table, that smug look on the face, sip by sip I browse through my thoughts. An anarchy in my mind yet a calm on my face. A confident smirk unwittingly giving away the contemplation in my head. Yet, I hold on to that disguise. 

 

Watching everyone around dance to a music that somehow does not make any sense to me. I have an ocean to cross, a thought to process,  and a gaze to maintain. There she is , sitting right opposite having absolutely no clue of what I'm thinking right now. Its almost like the childhood dream when you wished you were invisible. Oh what a sly game it was. With my chin on my fist, arm on the bar, the edge of the hat dwarfing eyes, I can play with my imagination as I please. The king of this castle, The master of this show. All other things can wait, I don't have to hear every sound or listen to every question. Its not because I don't have an answer, but because it simply doesn't matter anymore. Letting all thats unimportant quietly slide away.

 

Slowly beginning to realise that she actually believes that I am listening to her as long as I keep feeding her with timely nods. However, I am more engaged in deciphering the taste of her lips than the words that come out from there. Whatever she speaks through her mouth falls short of what I read in her eyes. The way they light up, the way they shy away, the way they unknowingly give away what they're hiding.

 

We all have parts of ourself that we want to keep only to ourselves. Parts of us you'd never wish anyone finds out. Yet you cloak yourself up, and become walking lies only to fit into what the world believes is normal. So then when you meet someone for the first time, are you meeting them or their representatives. How far can this representative walk you to the real person. How close can you let your representatives bring someone to you.
Are we then just puzzles to be solved. Or are we different persons to different people. Are these walls we've built around us for our protection or are they our definition. If you are what rules you live by, then does breaking those rules make you a different person. What if one day you snap and break away through these walls. What do you become then? Do you become what society thinks you are? or Do you become what you think you actually are, or what you want others to think you are.
Are we all then a product of choices we make or just a concatenation of things that happen to us even if they are beyond our control.

 

There are things from which we secretly derive immense pleasure. We connive our appearance to veil what we feel. Watching a hated person suffer at his own cost. Watching karma take its toll on those who have wronged us. Involving a forbidden person in the most libidinous thoughts. Things that we would not admit a million times. We deny it, yet deep down for a brief moment we all simply love the way it makes us feel. The way it fills a certain void. The way the warmth of this feeling embalms a certain wounded corner within us. 

 

You can walk seas in search of wonderlands, You can riddle magic in search for amazement, You can go to moon and back to capacitate your lust for curiosity. Yet there is hardly a world that is more interesting, intriguing, profound and wonderful than the one that exists between your ears.

 

Pranav Malhotra

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

Provocative, Pranav! I am wrapping my thoughts around these words: "If you are what rules you live by, then does breaking those rules make you a different person?" Quite possibly, it does. Your final sentence is intriguing as well. A well done and interesting piece!

[Marie]

Revealing our true selves to anyone requires total trust, and I don't believe there is any such thing.Love is not enough. Friendship is not enough. Often we hide the truth from our own minds and hearts. Anyone can project anything on Writers' Cafe. That is why I never want to meet any of the members in person.

[Pranav Malhotra]

hahaha, Yea ?
If given a chance, i'd sure like to wine or dine with you, mam

[Marie]

If I were thirty years younger I'd make an exception in your case...

[Allan W]

I really like this. It is said that what we show most of the world is our 'personality' whilst what we show our closest friends and our loved one's is our 'character'. The latter being the person we really are! It is the personaility people show that we are drawn to, that we love. Their true character is not revealed. That takes time to find and know. It is so important that sometimes we let the cloak slip and let people see our true selves. If we don't we run the risk of always dissapointing new friends, new loves, new acqaintences. This story captures all of this I thought and looks at a fantastic topic! Nice writing - great theme! Well done.

[Pranav Malhotra]

Thank you , allan :)
Glad You can relate to it. I personally feel the topic of human persona very engaging

[fred]

this is not my kind of thing at all and yet it resonates .. no man is an island

[Pranav Malhotra]

Throw more light on what you are implying bro .?

[Dakshta]

It's kind of scary question that when we meet someone for the first time, are we meeting them or their representatives.... and it's also really important to keep the cloak that we are wearing just be a cloak and not let it effect our true personality.....coz when that happenes then there would be nothing more scary then that...

Ah but just like always, really nice work :)

p.s. If that poison dosen't help in anything then why take it?

[Pranav Malhotra]

Thank you . . .

P.S the poison instigates me into writing pieces like this

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Another wonderfully thought provoking piece. Most of us do not recognise the power we have inside us. Most of use use only a fraction of our brain power. We live life in a fragile glass cage with the bars of societal expectation entrapping us.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

One small point; being a Scot I would prefer you to describe scotch as amber not brown. it represents the warmth of this distilled nectar.

[Pranav Malhotra]

, Duly noted. :)
We Indian are profoundly fond of scotch, perhaps its from the vestiges of 200 years of colonial rule. . .

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha, ha, thank you for your humility Pranav. We Scots have been subjugated by the imperialist English for centuries. At least you won your independence. I for one am proud you like our scotch. Look forward to reading more of your writing.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

It is a huge argument...a complex world to deal with. I could not agree more...this is the reality we are facing in everyday's life. "Anything your mind conceived could create a real or surreal world." We can be break down, we can be left in the middle of nowhere, we can be triumphant. But still our head was set in the top to control all parts of our body including the heart. So whatever fruits we harvest, it always conceived by our mind. "It is a great penned, provocative, vivid,dynamic and current." Keep writing Bro. :)

[Pranav Malhotra]

Thanks for the morale booster bro.
I appreciate your sense and insight into a perhaps delicate matter as above,
Glad you liked the note., Cheers :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Welcome always :)