SEVEN

I'm Yours-Jason Mraz

 If she’s so much in love with this guy of her, why am I doing this then? I got back. I was quiet. I was sober. I just lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling above, seeing various pictographic images on it. Then at 9:30, she called me. I didn’t know what to do yet I picked up. We chatted as usual.
Next day we would meet and roam around but never raised that topic anymore.
 
One day I called her and she was a bit off. I could feel it. I asked her what happened. She said her boyfriend told her never to call him anymore and we quarreled. I don’t how true that is till date. But I blindly believed her. She said everything. Why was she upset about their relationship and what exactly had happened.
 
But let’s leave that till here for now……………
                        After all it’s about me and not about him and her. Rite?
 
So for now, I had no words to say. I didn’t know what to do. But I certainly didn’t want to say something stupid. She wasn’t upset and crying after all. We chatted normally as we would do and nothing was awkward. But deep down something didn’t fell right.
 
I questioned myself. Was I being the bad guy in a perfectly happy relationship of her? Or is it destined? I couldn’t find the answer. I too didn’t have any answer about what exactly she felt and thought of me. So I was in a haze, a maze which I was getting in further and further. I had to stop but couldn’t. Something was gravitising me. Pulling me towards her and I couldn’t do anything about it. As if it was written. But what???
 
On a perfectly sunny day, we decided to go to a place where I’d thought of going to for a long time. It was far uphill to a beautiful waterfall which could be seen from the college premises. So it was both of us for the first time more like friends and not formal date couples moving along laughing, throwing stones, waiting for one another on the nose-hill way. Sometimes she would run and sometimes me, but whoever was ahead would complain and mock the other of being slow and boring. There would be a frequent collision and brushing of our shoulders as we would walk. Which ofcourse would send a chill through my body and give me goose bumps. I had fun. She had fun. Significantly, we had fun. Then as we reached our destination we breathed for a long time and just stayed silent and sat staring at the natural beauty visible. We talked and chatted. Had snacks which we had brought along with us.
 
It was a beautiful day. You could hear birds chirping around, cool breeze blowing, warm sun beating pleasantly on our back, a small stream of water flowing………….
She was sitting on the top of a small rock. I looked at her like never before and she blushed. I stood up and picked up a flower from beside; although wild it didn’t matter to me. I played a song on my cellphone…………
“I’m Your’s from Jason Mraz” and kept it aside. Then I knelt down on my knees balancing myself on the top of a small rock. Stream of water flowing beneath.
 
With my both hands holding the flower and presenting to her I said,
 
“Natalie! Ur the most beautiful and angelic girl I’ve ever come across and will ever do. From the simple first gaze to everyday nervous gazes, U’ve been sinking in my heart deeper and deeper. I don’t know how you feel about me, but its been 2 long and most beautiful years of my life hitherto that I’ve been in love with you and wanna say from the deepest bottom of my heart that I LOVE YOU. Yes I LOVE YOU and will do anything to keep that smile of yours which you have for eternity.
Please be mine and accept this flower……………..”
 
This was the first time I’d ever said I Love you to a girl. Never had that feeling aroused within to say so. For now she had gone red. I mean complete red. I could feel her heart pounding. She covered her mouth and was hush. But she didn’t say anything. Me? Still there balancing on one knee, holding a flower on one hand and widespread hand the other, waiting for the answer. Meanwhile Jason Mraz was still singing….
She then looked tensed and kind of murmured, “Please…”
Then I said, “accept this or don’t na. It’s as simple as that”.
After a few seconds, she accepted the flower but said nothing. She was smiling and at the same time thinking very deeply. The way the girls do. Then I’d lost hope probably and smiled. I knew she is not meant for me. I couldn’t and I shouldn’t. I gave up.
 
So now I comforted myself and sat. But then I hold her hand for the first time all of a sudden and felt a chill running from the chest to my abdomen. We both stayed silent. I didn’t know what was going on. But it seemed like the whole world had paused and every tic was being felt. I didn’t know why the f**k I did that. I shouldn’t have. But I still knew she was into me but wasn’t willing to accept the fact or maybe it was too early for her. I thought of giving her some time and space for now.
 
I didn’t know what her answer was but I didn’t asked her again………….………………………..
Never…………………………………..