Silhouette

All that is remained is a silhouette of you now

Still a boat awaits for me,

Far away across the horizon.

I know I'll find no one there

Apart from the ashes of my heart and my clenched soul's remains.

Albeit you are long gone, along with the dusking sun

The roots of my heart have forever gone numb.

A bird sits on the branch of a dried off tree;

chirping the saddest of tune he could remember.

Leaves fall off dying taking his last ought breath

Dew on the grass turns into a melancholy tear.

A gush of wind blows away all the warmth

& I try to hug and embrace myself with my own arms

Because as I try to close my eyes and find you

All I find is a silhouette of you now.................

Reviews

[Angie Rose]

Lots of emotion that much is clear. well written i enjoyed it!

[Deepankar]

thanks....... :)

[Katherine S.]

I really like the darkness and emotion in this poem, it really makes the reader feel. It was very well written.

[Deepankar]

Thank U very much :)

[Antara Kundu]

The way you've used the word 'silhouette' struck a chord with me. Also liked the expression 'dusking sun'. I've a couple of suggestions for you (and please feel free to discard them if they don't go with you :-) ) - a. Try to restrain the upheaval of 'emotions'. b. Let the individual grains of 'thought' float up in your mind. And then, catch hold of each of these grains and work upon it to give it the most original expression.

[Deepankar]

Ahh.. Now you struck a chord with me there... It happens to me all the time... I try it, but its very difficult for me to catch hold of it many a times...
Any suggestions upon it??? :)

[Margarette]

Oh, what a sad state a person can experience in times of longing and despair for love. Great imagery you've written and it really fits the title. Waiting for a long time, that really hurts a person's ego deep inside. Thanks for sharing!

[Deepankar]

THANKS FOR THE APPRECIATION......

[Lady of the Lake]

Oh, this was well written. I liked how you ended your poem with the first line (I'm a fan of circularity haha) :) The grammar is just a little off in some places, but that's not something that can't be improved. Other than that I thought this was quite good :)

[Deepankar]

Thanks....
And yes I hope I can improve on it quickly, ofcourse from advices of yours' :)
read moreThanks....
And yes I hope I can improve on it quickly, ofcourse from advices of yours' :)
Thank u once again

[Holly Mason]

deep longing behind your words
dew on the grass turns into a melancholy tear...such a lovely use of word imagery
thank you for sharing

[Deepankar]

thank you very much...
I try to write what I feel from within.....
& reviews, like yours' help me alot....
Thank you once again.......

[Kaitlyn]

:)

I really like this. It's very deep and very touching.

Keep up the good work!

[Deepankar]

thank u very much.......

[Mermaidstear]

beautiful ! I loved it :)

[Deepankar]

Thank u very much... I'm glad u loved it.....

[Mermaidstear]

anytime :)