To Give Mother Love Need A Heart.

On the memory of a woman I came across in my life.

It's my birthday and I'm 31. Everyone here thinks I'm a good hearted spinster, indeed I'm a widow. If I tell them the truth more or less they say this wouldn't happen to a girl like you, I don't want anyone's mercy for my life. It may have a more disastrous stuff further but less than my past. My neighbour kid came saying di happy birthday. It is my third year in this area all are my favouraties specially children. Everyday atleast I have two or more kids to manage I mean some come playing their mom, if you want me to eat food come to di's corridor there I'll have or said I'll write my homework in di's home. I accept I'm not of their sister age but their mother's.

All the children's mothers treat me as their own little sister. There is no good hope for my future life all kids will be grown ups as the years pass. I have strong desire to have my own kid which I can't have possibly not like I'm having problem with that but I lost my husband who shot dead in a car accident. Here having kid after husband's death means wrongly. It's almost ten years he passed away.

We never lived as husband and wife for atleast one day. It wasn't like now that we did talk a lot before wedding. Hardly I see him once or twice before marriage. It was that day we were binded in wedding. Unfortunately he died on the way to his home. Everyone blamed me for that I was made scapegoat for no mistake.

My parents bring me back to home my family members too talked rudely with me. If his time was overed means what I have to do...I have nothing to do with that. I'm a degree holder I wanted forget every pain so so joined in a company as an assitant. For few days everything was okay but later head of the company wanted to take advantage of my life offered me a ill thing. I left and tried to join two more companies the thing sequelly I get the same. Stay alive being alone is not possible for a single girl like me.

My parents asked to remarry scared of ere marriage I decided to be alone. Then we moved to this city. Here I'm an enterpreneur doing some snacks like chakuli, muruku and nippatu. Our home near there is a general store, it is running by a woman. I sold all my snacks to her only. It's a little work but I'm safe in home. After years a strong desire take birth in me. One of my cousin died of cancer living her an year old baby. My aunt take the baby to our home. They stayed here for a month the baby was very good with me I took her care like her mother. The moment we detached was very emotional. After that the desire became immense.

I can adopt a child but mother says your in laws will blame badly my daughter. How can I get a child? If I marry again there is another mean to that here. If a widow marry means she is not considered as the member of her own family. She can come her brother and sister's marriage as a guest not as a sister. Here indifferences is quitely acceptable. If a widower marry it'll be celebrated as if it is his first marriage. If his wife can't give him child he can remarry while she is still alive.

It hurts why such indifferences happen to a girl. I was bitterly scolded for my husband's death. Have I said the car to get failed? Unfortunately I only survived my husband, his sister and her husband all died. If I marry again I'm not considered as family member if not I can't be live my as I wish. All ill feed eyes hunt me everyday. They want only what a man wants of a woman. They can go to a w***e but they search free charge woman to sleep with.

I'm at mid age of my life. I want only happiness no worries after all I can never be called a mom from any of children of this area but I can look after them as a mother. Women of the area won't stop me loving their kid. They know I won't let their child in any situation and never be irresponsibility.Ofcourse my love is pure and equal for all children, indeed one mother doubted herself being a mother, am I doing such things to my child?

I keep on blaming my fate but never took time to notice that God has given a good place to live in. I wished to have one baby but here plenty of available to me. I should cry not for past but live full present. To be a mother it's not necessary to have your own baby but have a good heart give your pure and full love to a child in your hand.

Author's Note

She spent all her life alone without husband without her own children bravo...

Reviews

[Matching Socks]

Thank you for this glimpse into the life of a woman who has endured but has wonderful strength of character. Well done, very good emotional connection.

[Prabha Salimath]

Sticking to one path helps to heal ourself from all disastrous things otherwise life will be hell so badly.

[Prabha Salimath]

Thank you Ana for an insightful review.

[Matching Socks]

You're welcome. :)

[Ibreez Shabkhez]

"Family isn't whose blood you carry. It's who you love and who loves you." ~ Jackie Chan~ ( The Spy Next Door)

Only a woman could do it... I couldn't do it.

[Prabha Salimath]

Thanks Ibreez for admitting the truth, atleast you said a woman can do it.
And thanks for the review.

[Linda alexander]

To be a mother it's not necessary to have your own baby but have a good heart give your pure and full love to a child in your hand.
I believe there are so many biological mothers who could not act as a nice mother based on multiple reasons including medical reasons, this area is highly individualistic, so very hard to comment, if soul is pure all is pure I may say, message is clear and well written, in general life itself and it's strategies vary dramatically from person to person.

[Prabha Salimath]

Thank you Linda for making time to read and leave a review.

[Linda alexander]

You most welcome, take care