do you love me?

do you love me? when you say it there is some kinda loook in your eye ? its like your hideing something 

is there some one else ? i need to know ! its killing me i need to know !

Author's Note

im not good at it but i like to do it for something to do i came on this site to improve my writeing skills so people help me ?

Reviews

[ShaunMosley]

Good job for having the courage tp put your writing in front of people where people can enjoy it. I enjoyed reading it. Never stop writing

[Boy of the red]

i like the worry you put into it. maybe put it in a more poetic fromat and break it up a little

[X]

I like the emotion, and the passion. Not all poems have to rhyme, or follow a certain structure, and meet a certain length. More of a story would help the reader, but as long as this piece of writing helped YOU sort some feelings out, then it's done what it should for you. Nice job and post some more work so we can help!

X

[twinklestar]

cute and to the point :) i love it ;)

Twinkle

[dunnia]

This is good for a beginner...youll get better dont worry everyone starts off somewhere :)

[rihanna]

thanks everyone!

[C.C. Marx]

Its a good place to start the emotion is obviously there, it need some structure and a little more detail so we can understand the story some more...no worries, when I first started I was awful at poetry you'll get better :)

[That_Girl]

Needs structure, maybe a little more thought, and a serious edit. Keep working. :)

[David the writer]

Okay you can feel the emotion so great start. The outline is incorrect, neigh is there a rhyming pattern *not saying there has to be*. Also, I don't know if it's incorrect or not but usualy in poetry there isn't punctuation. But I did like it, and I do know how you feel here. So it's relatable, and it's message comes across to the reader. So really good start. If you want any more advice, maybe if you're looking for new types of poetry I started a new type a little similar to others. So pm me, or comment on this anytime, and I'll be happy to help

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

Good. You start read more poems and books. As many persons told already you have to develop your writing capacity. OK. Good. All the best for ever.