Ivan the Simpleton

tried attempt to copy the style of a russian fairy tale i read.

             Once upon a time there lived a very poor man. He had two sons, Bulgagov the idiot and Ivan the simpleton. Bolgagov was a very bad son, who spent all his time leaning up against the stove drinking vodka, and making his smaller brother do all his work for him. “Ivan, be a good brother. Go plow my half of the field. I am afraid I am too stupid and do not know how to plow.” Ivan knew his brother was lazy but did the work and it took him all day and night. The next day Bulgagov leaned against the stove and drank vodka, as he always did. “Ivan, be a good brother, go feed the animals I am suppose to feed and chop the wood I am suppose to chop. I am afraid I am too stupid and do not know how to feed animals and chop wood.” Ivan did the work and it took him all day and night.

            One day Ivan met a three headed dragon while he was in the forest. The dragon was very hungry and was about to eat him. But Ivan said, “Oh, do not eat me dragon, for I have an idiot brother who is too stupid to do his work and my very old parents. Without me they would starve.” The Dragon answered: “You are very clever. I will not eat you, but come with me.”

            Ivan followed the Dragon deep into the forest until they came to a pool of water. “Look into this water.” Said the Dragon. “You will see what you desire.” Ivan looked into the pool of water and saw a beautiful maiden. Ivan was happy, “Where can I find this beautiful maiden?” he asked. The Dragon answered: “She lives far away, but I pity you, so when it is time I will take you to her.” “When will this time be?” Ivan asked. The Dragon answered: “After you have beaten your idiot brother with a stick.” Ivan was shocked, “How will I ever beat him. He does nothing wrong, but leans against the stove and drinks vodka.” “You must trick him or you will never see your maiden.” And the Dragon disappeared. Ivan was very distressed. How will I ever trick my brother?

            One day Ivan thinks of a great trick. I will hide in some bushes all day and all night until my brother gets so hungry that he will have to work for himself. I will catch him working and beat him for his lies. Ivan was very proud of his plan, and early the next day hid in some nearby bushes.

            It is not long before he hears his mother calling, “Ivan! Ivan! My son, come home! There is no food, and Bulgagov is an idiot! I will pray every day facing west until you come home.” Ivan becomes very sad listening to his mother. Next he hears his father calling, “Ivan! Ivan! My son, come home! There is no food, and Bulgagov is an idiot! Your mother will pray every day facing west until you come home. I will pray everyday facing east until you come home!” Ivan becomes even sadder listening to his father. Then he hears his brother calling, “Ivan! Ivan! My brother, come home! There is no food. We will starve if you do not come home!” Ivan was very angry after hearing his brother would not pray for him.

            For three days Ivan listened to his mother’s calls, his father’s calls, and his idiot brother’s calls. And each day Ivan became more and more angry at his brother for not praying for him.

            On the fourth day Ivan hears his brother stomach grumbling. It is so loud the ground shakes and the house shakes. Ivan peaks through the bushes and sees his brother harnessing the oxen to plow the field, he sees his brother feeding the animals, and chopping the wood. Ivan is very happy his trick worked and jumps out of the bushed at his brother and beats him to death. Just then the Dragon appears. “It is time.” He tells Ivan. Ivan kisses his parents goodbye, and tells them he is going off to marry a beautiful maiden, and will be back soon. Ivan climbs onto the Dragon, who decides to eat him, his parents, and his dead brother. 

THE END

Reviews

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

The ending is strangely intresting congrats!

regards
vincent

[Rachel U.]

Grammatical Review:
//Ivan knew his brother was lazy but did the work and it took him all day and night. // Comma.
//the animals I am suppose to feed // Typo. "Supposed"
//Ivan did the work and it took him all day and night. // Comma at the conjunction again.
//How will I ever trick my brother? // Viewpoint switch. This continues throughout the next paragraph. You also switched verb tenses after this point quite a few times.

Okay, I had to stop there, because I was laughing so hard at the end. It's ridiculously amazing - nice interpretation of an original story.
9.0/10