life

Years and years of pain kept inside

Masked by a mask of lies

A heart torn into pieces, a broken soul

Eyes were blind as the tragedies would unfold

An innocent little girl forced to do ungodly acts

Her telling was never a fact

With “shhh” as the plan she kept it to herself

So she would write all the while going left

Not knowing he would disturb the rest of her life

Each time he touched her he blurred her sight

A mother that lived a life for drugs

Not knowing that her child needed her love

She possessed a father like the wind that blows

She knew he existed but didn’t see, it all left her low

Lower than the ground that she stood upon

Hoping she’d wake up to a better dawn

She became an adult way too soon

From coloring pictures to quietly watching pornography in her room

Her mind became a landfill that became fuller each day

Building higher and higher, for it knew no other way

Spent her life searching for that one thing to fill the hole in her heart

With each step forward the more she would break apart

Never did she have a good relationship with a male

It seemed like it would always fail

So convinced herself she could find it in girls

Not knowing it would crush her world

She found herself lying in bed with a girl and asking why

What is wrong with me, should I even be alive

Started to play with soldiers and forget the baby dolls

Pressing decline every time God would call

Then one day she found self-injury

Maybe it could answer her questions about homosexuality

Get rid of her guilt of being addicted to girl on girl porn

It told her she was never meant to be born

The pain replaced what she really felt

Never knowing that she needed help

She would cut in her legs to hide from the world

So they wouldn’t know she was really a broken girl

It all became too much for her to handle on her own

Wanted to call for help but no strength to pick up the phone

She could see herself living but she felt so dead

Thinking the grave should be her home instead

No reason to live she wanted to die

It would end all of the pain she hid inside

Not scared of hell, she was ready to give up

Her life was a mistake not love

With the barrel pressed against her temple

The end just looked so simple

No fear was in her head, the only way to get the voices to stop

She was here to hear the gun go pop

A little voice, a meaning to life saved her life

Made clear what was in her sight

Just before giving up she heard the Lord say

“I love you. I never left you, I’m never going to leave you”, her life changed that day

She realized that her life was for a reason and not a mistake

For the God who made her does not make mistakes

She is a beautiful diamond in the making

And only to God was her heart for the taking

He is the only one that can fill the hole in your heart

Put back together what has broken apart

You have a purpose, you are loved

More than you would ever know from the God above

No matter what the world says you were not born gay

It doesn’t matter what they say, but it comes down to what God has to say and he did not create you that way

He will the father that you never had

Protect you from the storm and wipe away the tears when you are sad

He is the only person or thing that can take away your pain

The only one that will be your umbrella in the rain

He was there in the beginning and will be there in the end

He not only forgives you but will forgets your sin

So do not give up on yourself

Stay strong, you are not weak when you ask for help

God is right there and will never leave

All you have to do is believe