Mutable Sacrifice

Inspired by Beautiful ones by Poets of the Falls.

Their eyes are like glass, its part of their mask
Their hands clasp, it's a disagreeable task
Its shown in the mirror,  it couldn't be clearer

Its a pooled reflection, needing some correction
Their souls complexion, is part of their defection
It was a sacrifice of demise, part of their vice

They bear hearts of tainted gold, as it is foretold
It was not of their dole, nor was it consoled
Its retained to be broken, now its your token, its all been spoken

No longer beautiful, now mutable
Written  on  May, 31 2011 *(5-31-11)*

Reviews

[David Michael]

Hmm. Trying to figure this one out! (I'm not very good at interpreting poetry... a lot of it never makes any sense to me). As far as the pure imagery, it's quite good, a lot of compelling wording. It draws you, even if you have no idea what it means ;)

It also has a nice rhythm, though I would suggest in line 3 to remove "any" - I think the second part of that line would flow better, or at least would match the flow of the preceding lines more.

As a whole, enjoyable!

[Kestrova]

I agree with James, this is amazing! I adore the second stanza but especially the line:
"Their souls complexion, is part of their defection"
A fantastic piece! Very thought-provoking, and cleverly written.

[Time.]

I wish I could write like you.. this one is amazing by far the best one..