Commotion

Look at the stars, how they shine so bright
Stare into my eyes, I'm losing sight
Blue as the ocean, their full of emotion
Do the stars show any commotion

The wind screams in pain
Am I insane
I lost my sight now I'm in flight
Please help me through this night

Written on July 17, 2010 *(7-17-10)*

Reviews

[David Michael]

I really like this one, one of my favorites (though I didn't read them all, I'll be honest). Great imagery, and linking ideas together. Simple and poignant, it really evokes emotions from the reader; we can feel your frantic heart and desperate plea. Write some more like this one! I'd definitely read them :)

[Time.]

Erin this one is quite amazing, usally your's are longer but I love when you write short like this, it just shows so much of you.. It shows the hurt that you've felt.. I believe anyone can relate to this piece, it really is amazing, it tells of a hurt that anyone can relate to. Love it! :)

[Rose Tyler]

We all need someone to lean on, to call out to for help.
Well written, keep it up!