Santa Likes to Party

Short demented story of Santa's history

Okay...so maybe Santa isn't real...but you can't blame him. If you had his gig, living at the North Pole and waiting for a job for one night of the year in the middle of winter, you'd have problems with being real too. Some of them may be drug-related, but you get the idea.

As Christmas is a big party season for us in the real world, so it is for Santa, maybe even more so. Every year at Christmas, the elves, who prefer to be called "little people, " throw one hell of a bash.

The story goes like this: it was Christmas Eve at the North Pole and the party at Santa's was in full swing. Peering through one eye to combat double vision, Santa saw the clock and suddenly remembered his yearly obligation and stumbled for the door. He had a wee too much of the good eggnog, and reportedly a few shorts of tequila to keep "warm", so Rudolph took the keys to the sleigh. This was his big chance and he was ready!!

They were already off to a late start which became later and later as they had to pull over several times for Santa to throw up.

Rudolph punched the sleigh out causing Santa to mumble something about speeding tickets. Rudolph ignored him and plowed on at sleigh warp speed. Really, if you are flying around in a sleigh in the middle of the night with a fat drunk guy with the intention of delivering gifts to 6.9 billion people and no one notices, not only are you hallucinating, but the chances are also pretty good that you aren't going to get a ticket for anything either.

Eventually, Santa passed out in the back of the sleigh and Rudolph hit the party circuit.

Fortunately, Santa was lucky enough to hit the worm from the bottle of Cuervo and imagined, once again, his night of worldly gift-giving. Rudolph backed-up the story and "flew" him directly home.

But...guess what? There really IS a "Santa" that flies through the skies of the world, delivering gifts to all, spreading cheer and goodwill and sometimes, joy: it's called FedEx or UPS. They may even have a fat, grey guy with a beard at the "reins" every now and then... but let's hope he doesn't party like Santa did...

Reviews

[David Scott]

Oh my! Now what would the kids think... We must keep this between us adults.
Now I know you're mind is tweeked a few degrees south.
Funny. I bet you hubby wears brown shorts to work.

[Willard Wells]

fun little christmas story. I did one of those too. I guess with all have adventure in our minds this time of year to share. thanks for sharing a fun piece.