Broken Mascerade

The doors are open, the lights are on. People scream over blaring music.

Everyone is in masks. Cold, dead, false.

Half the people don't see through them, the rest just don't care.

Keep the quiet, little lambs, little lambs. Keep them simple, little pets, little pets.

It walks through the door, wearing no mask. It's mirror eyes see everything.

Mirror eyes reflect nothing back. Walls turn to glass, windows break;

destructive x-ray vision.

A thousand different masks fall to the ground and Shatter.

Underneath they all look the same, but only It understands.

It takes a seat in the highest chair.

Whispering nothing into thier waiting ears. It watches as they destroy eachother.

It's eyes reflect everything back to them, ruining thier minds.

Smiles play on It's glass lips as a glass house falls to bits.

"Monster" they whisper "Freak!"

 

Reviews

[Kimberly Smith]

nice poem .. i like the direction and the mood

[Boris Jonathan Novak]

Here's what I feel: I think this poem was from the depths of your imagination. I like that. Your words do describe so much of what you were thinking. I liked it very much. You did good work here. Keep up the practice, because it makes perfect. You're off to a very nice start.

Keep writing! Great work, great effort!

[Brandy]

I am actually not a fan of this; heres my true opinion:

If I apply this opinion bluntly to this poem, I'd say you really need to take a poetry class if you have a passion to write it. It really has no rythym at all, it's more of a bunch of incomplete sentences mixed with really long descriptive choppy sentences. And it's scattered, I don't get the theme at all, but I really didn't spend too much time observing it, either, but I did stop to try to inperperate it.

[Imzy]

I really like your idea and your description is really powerful, i enjoyed reading it
x

[Daedalus]

I love the concepts you explore in this piece, I know how frustrating it can be to deal with the fake, the false, the ones who live for the opinions of others.

I think the writing could be improved, but if you do rewrite it - make sure you keep the glass motif, it's wonderful.

[bluessadmood]

I really liked this ,dont know really why for I did not understand it all..this much I could
Doors open lights are on ,people scream through blaring music
Everyone is in mask,cold dead false,you cant see them,but no care
It walks through the door ,face so clear,mirror eyes sees everything
Thousands different masks fall to the ground and shatters,to reveal everything
Underneath they all look the same,but its understood,nothing could hide for long
It takes a seat like in the lead,It says nothing ,just watch them destroy each other
It reflects and ruins their minds,smile plays on its lips as the glass house falls to pieces
And they shout ..Monster,freak is here..I hope I understood you well
This is really great,It tells about how we are,all masks,and live in glass houses
lovely write..