The Blind Girl Meets the Surfer

        Merrick Demmington walked back to his beach-side house with Miranda Spates, his girlfriend, hanging onto his arm, gushing about how great his surfing was. Of course, he had been crowned King of the Surf in the surfing contest three years in a row; he was the best of the best.

        Soon they were inside, and he was taking a shower, rinsing the salty ocean from himself. Miranda was probably in his bedroom, getting into some sexy get up. He smiled at the thought, and got out of the warm water, wrapping a towel around his midsection. When he stepped into his room, Miranda wasn't anywhere. Merrick looked around, and then, without warning, his sneaky girlfriend pounced on him, squealing as they went down on the bed, making out.

        Before they could get any further, the doorbell rang. After Merrick didn't bother to get up, it rang again... and again. Over and over, the annoying sound went, until finally he got up. Cursing under his breath, he opened the door, well aware that he still had no clothes on besides the towel.

        Instead of a business dealer like he expected, Merrick saw a petite girl in a white designer's dress with white wedge shoes on. She looked like she was coming from a wedding, all the white contrasting with her black and blue hair. Well, it was basically black but had a bluish tint to it. She was looking straight ahead, not seeing. Her sea-green eyes stared straight through him.

        After a while of not talking, she was obviously waiting for him to speak first, he complied. "Is there something you need?"

        The stranger clicked her tongue at Merrick, scolding. "That's not a proper way to greet a woman."

        He raised his eyebrow. She didn't look like she was seeing anything but her stare was directed straight ahead, right at his chest.

        He didn't say anything, so she spoke. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance. My name's Aurora."

        Aurora held out her hand, waiting for him to shake it. She still didn't look at his face, so she wasn't able to see the bewildered look on his face.

        "Babe. What's taking so long?" Miranda whined behind him.

        The girl dropped her hand at the new voice.

        "I'll be there in a minute!" he called. "Look," he said to Aurora." I'm not looking to buy anything."

        She frowned, she pink lips pouting slightly. "Alright, even though I wasn't planning on selling you anything. It looks like I interrupted something. I'll have to find you another time then."

        Then, she reached towards the wall, searching for a cane that Merrick hadn't noticed before. She was blind.

        "I'll see you soon, Merrick." she waved in no particular direction, tapping on the ground, looking for obstacles.

        "Wait-"

        "Merrick, hurry up!" she said, coming up behind him, putting her manicured nails on his bare arm.

        "There was a blind girl. She was trying to say something to me." he explained, but when he looked back, Aurora was gone.

        Merrick shook his head. She couldn't be gone that fast, this wasn't some mystery novel where the girl just disappeared. He looked down the street and saw no one.

        "Well, she isn't here now, so come on." she purred.

        Reluctantly, he went back to where they left off, the strange blind girl forgotten.

 

 

        Merrick woke in bed, Miranda already gone to her job, so he was alone. It usually went like this, so he didn't think anything of it. Then he thought about Aurora again, replaying their short conversation...

        Wait.

        She knew his name. She said it when she was leaving. Oh boy, Merrick might not have an innocent little blind girl. She could be a crazy blind stalker instead. He'd have to watch out for her because she said she would come back.

        His cell phone vibrated on the night stand. It was a text from Miranda.

        Had a great night, babe <3 u wanna come over 2 my house, 2night?

        Merrick groaned. Lately, Miranda had become a little too clingy for his tastes, making sure where he went, who he talked to... it was starting to get irritating. He texted her back:

        Srry. Can't :( gonna practice surfing at night. Wish i could tho ;)

        He got dressed in khaki's and a polo. Going to the mall with friends sounded better than sitting around and doing nothing. Merrick opened the door and went on the sidewalk. He glanced back at the house and turned away. But something caught his eye and made him whip his head back to see the mystery stalker girl, staring at nothing.

        She was still in her white clothes from yesterday and her cane leaned against the sandy stucco of the house. She gave a half wave in the direction from which he came. "I see you've finally gotten up."

        "Uh..." he said, dumbfounded.

        She turned her head towards his voice. "You were sleeping for forever."

        "Yeah. I always sleep in 'till eleven." he explained, finding his voice.

        She shook her head and her pearly white teeth shone in a smile. "That's a bad habit."

        "How?" he asked.

        "Because." she frowned. "Don't you have to go to work?"

        Merrick snorted. "Why would I go to work?"

        She stayed silent for a moment. "That's what normal people do. Keeps them active, if not a way to earn money."

        He opened his mouth, but she interrupted.

        "Can you help me up?" She held out her hands, looking ridiculous, a teenager asking to get up with someone's help. But she was blind, so Merrick walked back over to her and gave her a hand.

        Her hand was soft and delicate, her fingers slim and long. Her nails weren't manicured like Miranda's but they looked like it. He let go of it and reached over to hand her the cane. Her black hair looked more black than blue today -because of the light?- and her eyes had a slight green tint to them.

        "So where were you going, if not work?" she asked, snapping him out of his revere.

        He shrugged his shoulders as they began to walk, then remembered she couldn't see him do that. "Just going to the mall."

        Mystery Girl just nodded and fell into step behind him, listening for his footsteps.

        Merrick tried to walk faster because it seemed like she really was stalking him. But she kept his tail, not talking, only concentrating on his footsteps. Her brow furrowed in concentration. He sighed and stopped so she could catch up but she stopped too, so he went to her and took her hand.

        "Come on, if you're going to follow me." he muttered.

        She still dragged behind a little, but it was a lot faster. He shook his head, silently. It seemed like he was lugging around a little kid. Her shoes clicking on the pavement.

        They walked to the food court in the mall, hand in hand, through the crowd until they got to a food court where two guys sat, laughing loudly.

        "Hey! Merrick! Who's the girl you got there? Got rid of Miranda?" a booming voice asked.

        Merrick slid into the booth, leaving the strange girl standing at the edge of the table, wondering what to do.

        "Miranda's still my girlfriend, dipwad." he said, smacking Grant on the head. Grant was tall, well built, and had very white teeth.

        "Then introduce her to us." Sean urged. He had his shades resting on his brown hair and a slick tone to his voice.

        "She's..." he trailed off, waiting for her name as well.

        "Aurora." she said, staring towards the voices.

        We all waited for her last name but she stayed silent.

        After a while of awkwardness, Grant slapped his hand down on the empty seat beside him. "Well, no use in just standin' there, come sit down!"

        She sat down, but not after searching for the edge of the table to see where the seat was. But Merrick could see that Grant thought it was some move that told him she liked her.

        He rolled his eyes, he wonder if he'd hit on her if he knew she was blind. Honestly, Aurora was good at masking her blindness besides her cane. They just didn't notice it yet.

        "So tell me about yourself, Aurora." Grant started.

        She shrugged her petite shoulders. "There's not really anything to tell."

        "Well, what do you like?" he persisted.

        Merrick and Sean stayed silent, wanting to know too.

        "Swimming." was all she said.

        "Okay..." Grant said, not sure what else to say. "What interests you?"

        Her green eyes went up, thinking. "Books. Fairytales."

        Everyone blinked in surprise. She didn't seem like the girl to like to read; she looked like the kind of girl who was fashionable, stylish.

        "But how do you read?" Merrick blurted out before he could stop himself.

        "I don't anymore." she said, sadly.

        "Why not anymore?" Sean asked, incredulous.

        Aurora waved a hand in front of her green-blue eyes as if it were obvious. "I can't see."

        Grant's and Sean's mouth dropped open.

        Only Merrick was interested in the strange girl now.

        Her head tilted to side, slightly. "I think I should go."  She stood up gracefully, smoothing her skirts and grabbed her cane. "Bye. I'll see you later, Merrick!" she called as she tapped her way into the crowd and disappeared.

        Sean and Grant stared at him, mouth still open.

 

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        Aurora walked out of the mall, looking around. She felt slightly guilty for lying about her blindness, and stashed away her useless cane on the wall. The day was hot, and the black pavement radiated heat that made her skin feel dry.

        She sighed and squeezed her charm around her neck reassuringly. She wouldn't go up in flames -not again.

        Merrick seemed like a good guy, he just needed some motivation to help him get a stable life for when his father's company fails. Not that he knew or anything, Aurora was just here to help. It was a shame that she was being rushed, because Merrick really needed someone for a longer period of time than what was scheduled.

        Three years, that's all the time she had to change people's lives in a way that they couldn't come back from and enjoy all the choices they made with Aurora by their side.

        Skateboarders flew past her, whistling at her. She ignored them and sat on a fountain.

        Her reflection showed. Her real form. Her Reefs on top of her blue-black hair stood out, looking like antlers except with the design of a leafy coral reef. Her sea blue eyes looked like a cats, thin slits watching.

        Aurora swiped away the image before anyone could see and walked away, but not before looking at the glistening crystals that were now on her hand. The water showed the pale patches of scales on her hand and she quickly wiped the water away.

        She wandered around, looking for people in need of her help. No one really needed her help, which made her feel useless. Aurora went back to the beach, watching the people play and surf in the ocean.

        It brought a smile to her face to see that the ocean could bring so much joy. Kids were laughing, making sandcastles and wading into the water.

        She took off her shoes to walk on the soft white sand. She went over to the rocks where a small entrance to her cave was. Looking around to see if anyone was watching her, she chucked her shoes down the hole and she soon followed.

        The Crurar charm slipping off her, and she felt herself transforming. Her legs melded together, scales sprouted until her serpent tail was all the way formed. She felt her dress melt off her, leaving a black bra underneath. She rolled her cat-like eyes at the humans image of a real mermaid. She thought of Disney's A Little Mermaid, and snorted, bubbles floating from her mouth.

        Aurora went to organizing her shelves that were full of charms and potions, but was interrupted by Cato clearing his throat. It didn't take her by surprise, on the contrary, she was expecting it.

        "Hello, Cato. Did you have a nice journey?" she asked, pleasantly.

        "Fine. You know how those ocean currents can be going from the Arctic Oceans to the Atlantic." he said, his voice was like velvet. Unlike Aurora, with her black tale and Reefs, Cato was white, even his hair.

        She laughed, because this was always a repeat in their conversations together. He laughed too for a while. Cato and Aurora had been friends since they could swim on their own, but they've grown apart after Aurora had decided to branch off from the Serpent Clan. That was probably the only reason he came.

        "So, I see you've finally found someone to help." he commented.

        She nodded, laughter gone, as she pretended to inspect a mollusk shell carefully.

        "Do you think you can do it? I mean, you only have three years."

        "I'm not going back." Aurora snapped.

        "But why? What's so bad about the Clan?" he asked, Cato's expression sad.

        She didn't answer for a while. "Freedom. I want to be able to swim in the ocean, without everyone worrying about me, telling me where to go, when to come back."

        "Yeah, that's 'cause they can hunt you."

        "I make sure to steer clear of them." she said, quietly. "Besides, we're always being hunted."

        "But the others can give us protection." he reasoned.

        "We were trained the same as everyone else, equally." she countered.

        Cato sighed in defeat. "Just give me the damn pearl already."

        Aurora handed it to him, it's white surface glowing like moonlight.

        The both parted on that sour note and she reveled in the silence that followed. After a while, she sighed, bubbles trailing from her mouth and grabbed the Crurar Charm and swam upward. Instead of going out the way she came, she went into the little cove and sat on the rocky shore, letting her dry before she got her legs back.

        After a while, she slipped it on, and her fin separated into legs, her white designer's shoes back on along with her dress. Hey, Aurora's going to be on land, she'd be there in fashion. Her cane materialized, and she realized that she had to play the blind girl again.

        She took off her shoes again and walked in the sand, moving the cane everywhere pretending to search for objects that could trip a blind person. She made it so that her eyes fixed on nothing, making it a blank stare.

        But that didn't stop her from seeing Merrick Demmington with his girlfriend walking along the beach. Not hand in hand, but his girlfriend seemed to be super-glued to his arm. Aurora smiled a mischievous smile.

        Aurora slowly made their way to where they were standing, talking to some surfer dudes.

        "Outta my way! Blind girl walking! Move people!" she yelled, and waved her cane around.

        Many people moved out of the way to avoid being injured and Merrick and his girl backed away. She trudged on, acting like she didn't know him, still shouting for people to move.

        For a while, Aurora didn't think he'd come, but sure enough, someone -make that two someone's- running to catch up to her.

        "Aurora! Wait!" Merrick called.

        "Wait up, Merrick! I can't run that fast with these heels on!" the blonde girl that was his girlfriend called.

        She turned towards the voices, hiding her laughter. It was nearly impossible to walk with heels in the sand, hence the shoe carrying for Aurora.

        "Aurora." he said. His hazel eyes lightened with confusion. "Where'd you go? You just took off..."

        "Oh, you're the one who Merrick talked about, the Blind Girl." the girlfriend said in a nasal kind of voice. When she got caught up to Merrick, she went back to searing herself to his arms.

        "Yeah, I had something that I had to do." Aurora said, then turned towards the little "girlfriend" of his. "Hi, I'm Aurora."

        The girl stared at her like she was crazy, giving me the look that said, don't-you-know-that-he's-mine? kind of look. Just like Merrick did when they first met, she didn't shake her hand.

        "Miranda." she said, wrapping around him tighter.

        She noticed Merrick wiggle in her possessive grasp, but kept her gaze focused on nothing in particular.

        "Yes." he said. "This is my girlfriend."

        Miranda shot her a triumphant look.

        "Cool." she said, giving them a dazzling smile.

        Merrick blinked in surprise and Melinda's gloss coated lips curled into a grimace.

        "So where you going somewhere?" he asked.

        "Hm... 'was I going somewhere'..." Aurora contemplated, making Melinda's face go from grimace to annoyance. "Yes. I was going to that dinner restaurant, Fine Dinning I think?"

        "Oh, I've heard of that. Do you need help getting there?" he asked, showing the nice, compassionate side that Aurora was trying so hard to bring out.

        "That would be a lot of help." she admitted.

        Miranda made a small noise of complaint. "But I thought you were going to my place, to make up for tonight, since you'll be busy." she whined.

        "Don't worry, Babe, it'll only take fifteen minutes. I'll meet you at your house."

        Aurora suppressed the instinct to gag. She gestured with her cane. "Lead the way."

        Reluctantly, Melinda let go of him and stalked off.

        "She didn't sound happy, maybe you should go back to her." she said, playing innocent.

        "Don't worry about it. She spends almost every day with me." he said, a look of annoyance passed his face.

        Maybe she didn't need to interfere too much, his girlfriend would make him break up with her eventually.

        "Alright."she said, unsure.

        And so Merrick led Aurora to the dinner restaurant and then he left, not breaking his promise to Melinda which made him faithful, at least. Even if he was faithful to her, it probably didn't mean that she wasn't faithful to him.

        It was after midnight and she was wandering along the beach, freely. Merrick had dropped her off at the diner and left to God knows where. Probably back to that skank's house. Miranda was suffering from a serious case of possessiveness and Merrick paid the price for it. Soon enough, they'd break up, but not soon enough for Aurora's taste.

        She heard the waves lapping against the shore, the moonlight soaking into the soft sand. Her feet made no tracks like regular human's, not unless she was wearing shoes, but right now, they were bare. The night was cool, unlike the searing heat of the day.

        Aurora thought about the impossible task ahead -three people, three years. Then she'd have to go back to the Serpent's Clan, the clan where everything was restricted. You couldn't go anywhere, not even just three feet outside your own home. It's all because of them that we're like this. If they didn't hunt us, we'd all live in peace.

        She already had Merrick for one person, now she needed two more to start working on. There should be one year per person, even though that wasn't fair. To move someone's life in a life changing way, it probably took three years altogether at least. It was practically impossible, but Aurora wouldn't go back. They'd have to drag her back.

        Then Aurora noticed a figure laying in the sand, a surfboard strapped to the person's ankle. She ran towards him in alarm and looked down into Merrick's cold, lifeless face.

Author's Note

Alright, when I wrote this before, the girlfriend's original name was Miranda. Somehow, it got changed to Melinda so I went in and fixed it back to the original name. Please ignore if it says Melinda. Melinda doesn't exist :P

Reviews

[Marcus Parks]

I felt like the previous chapter and this one give a really hard time of trying to get an idea of who Merrick is as a person, making him come off as rather flat. There's something to be said about giving the reader brief, but telling scenes about how he is as a person, showing us, rather, than telling. It felt like there were times when we were taken out of the moment, for example at the start of this chapter.

[lilynait]

Going to chuck down things I noticed here.

'When he stepped into his room, Miranda wasn't anywhere.' Sounds a bit clunky. Maybe 'He didn't see Miranda when he stepped into the room.'

'She was looking straight ahead, not seeing. Her sea-green eyes stared straight through him.' I would get rid of the 'not seeing' since you deal with her blindness much more effectively in the next sentence. Maybe if you changed it to 'She was looking straight ahead, not focusing on anything in particular' or something along those line.

Not sure who the 'She was blind.' was meant for. Its pretty clear to me that she was blind. The audience is generally pretty smart. If Merrick didn't realise, maybe make it obvious like he was wondering why she wouldn't meet his eyes when talking to him, or why she didn't react to him being nearly naked. xD

"Merrick, hurry up!" she said, coming up behind him.
Mention that its Miranda who's coming up.

Hahaha I love how Merrick jumps to the conclusion that Aurora's a stalker. Any blind girl who could be a stalker is pretty impressive. Interested to see why she's blind as well. A side effect to the charm?

Your dialogue punctuation is off. 'There should be a comma after the speech,' Lucy said. 'But if you want to say she frowned after saying it, then it should be a period, followed by a capital letter.' She frowned.

Also, sure Aurora can still read. There Braille, and though I doubt there'll be as much Braille books, there's bound to be some. Wait. What. She was lying? Hahah nice one! Can't imagine her keeping it up for long. And not exactly a great way to start a potential relationship.

You had 'Crurar' charm in this chap but it was Crura in the last. Interesting. Serpent clan huh? Nice name. Anyway, I'm thinking the dialogue is the thing I'm most noticing. Good luck with the writing.

[Phil Smith]

As this is a pretty long piece, I think I will just review as I read. The problem though, is that I will literally just pick up on the points that need improving, I'll save my compliments to the end.

Okay, so, I agree with the previous reviewer, about telling rather than showing. When you talk about the guy washing in the shower, you might like to tell us about how the sea water made his skin feel rubbery, or something like that, just to give us more detail as to what he is doing.

When you talk about the blackish blue-ie hair of the girl at the door, get rid of the 'It was basically blue...' sentence. I just think it makes the good writing you have done so far suddenly become slightly immature, if you know what I mean. Maybe you could use those powers of description you have, to describe the hair exactly.

I think it should be 'her pink lips' not 'she pink lips'?

Haha, I like the irony of the 'mystery novel' part.

I'm thinking that when she meets Grant, that it should be 'told him she liked him' not 'told him she liked her'.

Well, I got to half way, and now I need to go to bed. I'm thinking that a review when I'm tired won't be a particularly great one.

Overall, I really quite liked this. I was impressed by how you presented the characters; they were so well developed. And the speech: that was great too. It was very much like real spontaneous speech, which is something that a lot of writers try, and fail at doing. Like I was saying, there are some great little quirks to Aurora's character. You need to keep this up with the later chapters.

Great stuff. I will hopefully read more at some point -- Good night!! :)

[Daydreamer54]

Rinsing the salty sea don himself-From his body. You're almao telling us what's going on more than
Showing but rustics trap recall easily fall into