Her Beginning

Where it all began

It all started on one plane of existence, a place that humans would describe as an island in the sky, where it's only inhabitants was a man and a woman. They lived in a palace-like place, made of polished white stone and gold. It was a magnificent place fit for the gods and beyond.

Naturally, the man and woman had a child. Twins were born, a girl and then a boy. The man and woman detested and rejected their first child, while accepted the other.

The man and woman had many children after that, and as they grew up, they kept the oldest daughter away from everyone else. Ordered to stay in a single room and tortured by the knowledge that her parents did not want her.

One day when she was young, the door opened and for once, her over bearing parents were not there to scold her on being alive. She was staring out the window at the shining garden where her sibling played. She could see and observe them, but they couldn't see her.

The door opened and in peeked her own twin brother. She knew it was him, watching him through her window. He didn't look anything like her or her father, instead looking like his mother. He was her opposite.

His dark eyes went wide at seeing a girl in there. He did not know it, but the white being before him, was his own flesh and blood. She looked at him with detachment in her swirling purple eyes, something that she found herself doing with everyone she viewed through the windows.

Footsteps and talking sounded down the hall, and the boy looked at her uncertainly.

She turned back towards her window and uttered her first words to her brother.

Leave.

And he did just that.

 

 

 

Time passed and the man and woman's children grew up, and soon, the Concours were finally here. The deciding on who would be in charge of the future Universe that would soon be call by scientists, The Milky Way.

All children of the man and woman must participate, even that one daughter that had always been isolated from people. Finally, the reason for her isolation came to light. The man and woman did not want her to be the ruler, so they locked her away, hoping to prevent just that. Instead, they had trained the rest of her siblings, especially her twin brother.

When all of the children had gathered, imagine their shock at seeing their eldest sibling step through the shadows, ready to prove her parents wrong.

The battle was on.

Detachment and hatred towards her siblings and parents fueled her fight as she used her gifts. The power that was stored up in herself surprised everyone, even her. But she controlled it, all with the stoniness of a statue.

In the end, it was only her and her twin brother. He tried to reason with her, but she was too far gone to care. She won the Concour and she was the one to deal with the fate of the Universe.

The man and woman were furious that the event that they had tried to prevent, happen, and to no avail, they tried to overthrow her. She dealt with them by locking them in the exact room that she had been in her whole existence.

Her siblings accepted her as ruler and as her brother as the Second, and slowly, bit by bit, the Milky Way was built along with Earth and humans. She designed the structure of human emotions based on herself and her brothers and sisters.

She appointed the persona that Christianity's would call God or other names from different religions to give the humans a spiritual belief. And still, she looked upon life with a detachment and as the human mind progressed more and more, she became even more dissatisfied.

The sibling even debated on destroying the planet Earth and start over, but she disagreed. She believed that the humans would do what was right if given the right push. She knew the fate of Earth, even if her siblings doubted her.

That debate is what split all the siblings, and was the beginning of a power struggle between the two parties.

Concours were declared by the sibling that disagreed with her, but she and her twin always were the last ones and she was the one that always won. It baffled her family that she could be so kind and caring with them, but still managing to beat them without batting an eyelash.

It was as if she cared for them, but not enough to love them. There was always that detached look in her eyes as she regarded them. It might have been due to her isolation or her parents resentment towards her, who knew. They knew that she was powerful enough to swallow the whole Universe and feel no guilt for it, yet she didn't.

Her sibling had no notion, but she did not wish to become a monster -to hurt innocents in the way that she had been hurt. She had enough compassion to think of other's without thinking of her own well-being. She did not wish to destroy. She just wanted to create something beautiful.

And seeing that Earth had grown into something ugly and disgusting disappointed her.

She was not naive enough to know that every human on Earth was good. She knew that certain people needed to be put down. She knew that if she got close to that human, that she would be able to decide his or her fate.

The only consequence would be that she would have to leave her plane and onto the humans and put herself at risk. They meant nothing to her, so she readied herself.

Naturally, her siblings protested, and she offered that she could come with her, but only one accepted her offer. Her Second, her brother, the only person that seemed to understand her behavior due to his encounter with her from so long ago.

So then, their journey began, and that was her beginning.

Reviews

[LauraMarieAlways]

A few errors:

"The deciding on who would be in charge of the future Universe that would soon be call by scientists, The Milky Way."~"call" should be "called".

"The man and woman were furious that the event that they had tried to prevent, happen, and to no avail, they tried to overthrow her. "~perhaps a better way to word this would be "The man and woman were furious that the even they had tried to prevent had happened, and to no avail, they tried to overthrow her."

"She appointed the persona that Christianity's would call God or other names from different religions to give the humans a spiritual belief. "~The sentence is a bit rough. Perhaps a better way to phrase it would be "She appointed the persona that Christians would call God, or other religions would call by different names, to give the humans a spiritual belief."

"She had enough compassion to think of other's without thinking of her own well-being." ~"other's" should be "others", because it is the plural use of the noun.

"...she would have to leave her plane and onto the humans and put herself at risk."~"humans" should be "humans' " because in this sense it is the possessive form of the noun.

"...and she offered that she could come with her, but only one accepted her offer."~the second "she" should be "one" or "a few of them" because you are referring to the group of siblings, not one in particular.

Another thing: I hope that you are planning on describing why her parents resented her, for the sake of knowledge itself and because I am curious as to why.

Other than a few errors, this looks to be the start of an interesting concept. I rather hope that you continue with it; it seems interesting, and I marvel at your style.

[Molly]

Thank you so much for the review. You don't know how much I just get shallow criticism or compliments by people. I appreciate it!

[LauraMarieAlways]

You're welcome. And I agree, shallow criticism is frustrating, and compliments are only helpful if they comment on what you are doing well. I enjoyed reading your work.