The Middle One

I wrote this under assignment for my English class; it's one of the first pieces I've ever written in the poetic genre, so I'm not sure how I feel about it, but here goes.

The Middle One

You want my advice?

Never mess with geese.

Battleship noise-machines,

With nose-hungry beaks and wings the size of Jupiter.

Before they decide that what your lawn really needs is goose s**t,

That’s when they’re cute.

Chipper sunshine yellow, fading too fast to neon gray.

I was bedside-There’s five and eight!

I watched with pond-dipped toes, until I got it-

“Don’t stay so close-they’re gonna drown.”

I guess I couldn’t swim at 3 days either.

Inadvertent, attempted, murder. Do I go to jail for that?

Gosling napping? Yeah, that wouldn’t fly

Mother Goose would send me to time out.

Nasty things but never finished Pre-K, can’t even count-now six and seven!

I tried to reason with him, reverse the mutiny,

But maybe he just likes that gaggle better,

This is identity crisis-goose style. Or,

Maybe he, whichever one “he” is,

Like me, can’t tell the difference.  

Author's Note

Well, any sort of feed back would be much appreciated. I'm terribly apprehensive about posting it at all, but I have to suck it up and start. :)

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

One thing I know about geese is they can s**t, Lake Merit Park in Oakland Ca, boy did they have geese and s**t to prove it I mean everywhere. Oh and that line about never mess with geese, that is so true they will be on your a*s liker white on rice. The geese part brought back memories. Excellent write.

[Crazy Cat Man]

I have no feedback here. I like the many directions this went. Its good to write like that sometimes and not worry so much about style. just let it flow. Im a middle child too.....i think its unique to be the middle child...uve seen all. great piece

[Antonio Valentino]

I was the middle child in a gaggle of guys (six brothers, one sister) I can relate with a big brood. If you're going to kidnap a gosling, start with Kate okay, she's been shiteing all over the place lately :P

I have to park my car on the street in front of my house under a tree, and always, with the bird turds... yech!

Very nice job here Paige. Keep writing, it will be nice to see you progress as time goes by.

Thanks for sharing this with us.
Antonio :)