by the creak

a short romantic story on a couples journey by the creak inspired by a true event

The day he took me to the creak, in his hot, red, new sports car was the most fun I had in a while. We walked slowly through the woods, holding hands, as we moved the trees from our faces. We stopped in the opening to hear the voice of the woods, with all the creatures blending together in harmony. I looked up over my head at the purplish, blue sky as my head came down slowly, connecting to his eyes, making my heart beat. I smiled faintly as our other hands met and our bodies became close. For a moment we stood listening, not one of us spoke a word but not taking our eyes off each other. Then we continued through the woods, down to the creak. As we edged closer I started to hear the roaring waters crash over the rusty rocks. Finally after what seemed like forever we reached the creak and the air began to feel fresh as it hit my face when I came bursting out of the green and brown trees. It was late summer and the sun had just beagn to rise creating a warming affect around the creak. I took off my sandles and followed him over the rocks which scratched and scraped my bare feet. We were alone as the sound of nature was our only guide and company. I stopped on a rock as i fell into the shallow water laughing. He turned around suddenly and then started back with a twitter in his eye and a smile across his face. My wet, soggy dress loked amess but in his eyes at that very moment I looked gorgeous. He picked me up and we started again, this time he carried me through the water coutiuous of any creatures. As we started to reach high, dry land I felt relief and a need to rest. We sat on a hill overlooking a crystal blue waterfall coming down from a bridge where the sun was rising. For a long time we seeemed to sit there trying to find something, if anything to say. Then he put his hand over mines, looking at me. I looked down at his hand over mine, then up to his lips, then his eyes. He moved in slowly giving me time to back out. My heart was racing so hard and fast that I felt as if it was going to burst out my cheast. This would be my first kiss and I would always remember that. I felt his bottom lip first, then his top as our lips met. They felt soft as if they were going to melt ontop of mines in a moments notice. this felt unreal, so unbelieable. I closed my eyes only feeling our lips and his arms drapped over my shoulders. then we slowly moved away still not a word to say. We smiled briefly, then he said in the smallest voice but yet deep, "hows the creek" and i answered with a gleem in my eye "so mch better with you here".  We laid back looking at the water fall, the clouds and the sun just not thinkingt at all. I closed my eyes letting the breeze hit my face. Finally, we stood up and finished walking over the rocks, through the water ,back up to where we came. That night I thought alot about what just happened. I was really dirty and wet but as I laid in my bed with the dirty smell and the musty oder and I was brought back to my time at the creek and when our lips first met,.

Author's Note

feel free to comment about anything! i tried to fix the minor errors. thankx everyone your comments were helpful.

Reviews

[R.D.Scott]

I really liked this, Im currently writing a book so its nice to read a short story. The thing I love most about this is its very easy to get lost into the moments of it. Like the kiss, you can feel yourself there. It real activates the imagination. The romance of the piece is good and I think you have enhanced it with the surroundings. I like it alot, well done, good work.

[LostInThought ♥]

I loved this story, especially the kiss scene, but then again I think that was everyones fav! :)

[Dillon Cotter]

this story is really good, and i understand whats happening. i love how u detailed the kiss part. good job!

[Cedric D. Jr.]

The lack of appropriate, capital letters in combination with the punctuation (or lack thereof) makes this story a difficult read-- enough said.

Aside from the technical faux pas, the story itself is good. It is easy to feel the realism in the story. The kiss was described really well in great detail, which lends the secondary benefit of allowing the reader to take note of that moment as the pinnacle of the story. Also, the setting seems to have this celestial vibe that illuminates every moment within the story, which is a good way to hold a captive audience. This is a good story.