Conditions Of My Heart

This is my heart

you can't have it

but you can look at it

 

This is my heart

you ripped a hole in it

but you can't see it

 

This is my heart

your words are like a knife

slowly slicing it open

but you don't care

 

This is my heart

this is the piece

your knife cut off

everytime i sew it back on

your knife comes back

to slit it off

but that dosn't bother you

 

You're my older brother

now look at my heart

can't you see

you're tearing it apart?

 

This is my heart

here is a dart

you might as well,

take your best shot...

 

Reviews

[Jim Parson]

This is really very moving, Julie. I had to read it twice because of the emotional twist. As I read, my thought patterns were driven by the pain caused by a love. So when I got to the brother part, I had to start over and shift my thinking. It changed the poem completely. Nicely done!

(Want me to beat him up for you?)

[Ashli The Amazing]

very nice [: love the structure and the great choice of words [:

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Such great poetry, flows so nicely and the final stanza takes the poem to the top level indeed:)

[Krystal Nicole]

Outstanding. Great work!!

[Alexa Tasch]

I really liked this Julie. It sounds great. I'm sorry your brother is a jerk. Honestly, at first i thought this was about some guy. i really liked the fourth verse. nicely done Julie

[TheFemininePad]

Wow Julie you really are doing great with your writings. Sorry it has been so long since I have reviewed your writings. This poem is really good, and it demonstrates that you are becoming quite a writer. Keep up the great work. I don't have any suggestions on how to improve upon your poem.

[Hello, Goodbye]

nice candid expression.. of the.. heart..

[Short.Nerd]

A very good poem. Brothers can be complicated. Excellent write!

[Jesse Jacques]

this is very sad. there's only one spelling error, where 'doesn't' is spelled "dosnt". that's pretty much the only error.

[L. Catherine]

Love it Julie!!!!!