Unexpected Chapter 4

Unexpected Chapter 4

A Chapter by Julie Beth
"

Month 1

"

 That was so like my mother. She dosn't want to waste her time telling me so she has someone else do it for her. That's not even the worst part. The worst part is, she barely told us anything. She just told us Hannah's in the hospital. I don't know why she's in the hospital. I don't know how bad she's hurt. I do know its bad though. Mom wanted to talk to Carson to ask him if I could stay with him and Xavier for the weekend.

   "Are you okay?" Carson asked me

 "No Carson, my little sisters in the hospital and I have no idea whats going on. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do." I said

  "Hey it's going to be okay. Hannah will be ok."  he said as he rubbed my back. He didn't understand that I wasn't just talking about Hannah. I was talking about Hannah and me being pregnant. " Is there anything I can do baby?"

  "Yeah....Carson can you promise me something?"

Carson nodded his head and wait for me to go on.

 "Can you promise me that no matter how bad things get, you'll stay with me. Not because you feel bad or it's the right thing to do, I want you to stay with me because you want to."

 Carson sat there in silence for a moment then said,

 "I promise that if things get bad, which they won't, I will stay with you. Not because I feel bad for you, or if it's the right thing to do, and not because I want to. I will stay with you because I love you and I don't want to lose you."

 "Are you just saying that because I asked you to?"

 "No, i'm saying that because its true." Carson said as he kissed my forehead.

 

   Carson rolled over and looked at the clock. It was around two in the morning. He wasn't tired at all and he knew he probably wasn't going to get to sleep anytime soon. Carson carefully got out of bed not wanting to wake up Maddy. He went into the kitchen to get a snack. When Carson got in the kitchen he saw Xavier.

  "Hey man you just get home?" Carson asked as he got a slice of pizza from the fridge.

 "A few minutes ago. Whats up with you? You look like your having a rough night. Maddy dump you or something?" Xavier retorted 

 "No. Maddy's actually staying here for the weekend, do you mind?"

 "I don't care. Why is she staying here for the weekend?" Xavier interrogated

"Something happened to Hannah, she's in the hospital."

"Holy crap is she okay?!?!? What happened to her?"

"We don't know. Her mom didn't say much when I talked to her."

 "Why did you talk to Maddy's mom? Why didn't Maddy talk to her mom?"

"I don't know. Maddy answered the phone, her mom told Maddy to put me on the phone. But when I was talking to her on the phone, she was acting strange. She kept saying Madeline instead of Maddy. I mean I know thats her full name. It was the way her mom was saying it. She would say it like she was disgusted with Maddy."

"Maybe they got into a fight." Xavier posed

"They haven't talked to eachother since we left to get pizza. They were fine then." Carson explained

"Who knows, it's not really our business anyways. I'm going to go to bed. Susan got sick so I have to work her shift tomorrow morning. Also, you have to work tomorrow, you should get some sleep too. Night." Xavier nagged as he left the room.

"Night." Carson mummbled as he threw away the crust to the pizza and went back into his room.

 

 

  Beep! Beep! Beep!

 "Carson," I groaned "turn off the alarm." I got no responce.

 Beep! Beep! Beep!

 "Carson!" I snapped

 Beep! Beep! Beep!

 I was about to kick him when I realised that he wasn't in bed. I rolled over and turned off the alarm. Then I walked into the kitchen.

 "Xavier do you know where Carson is?" I asked

 "Yeah he had to go to work." Xavier answered

Carson worked at the local pet store. I go down there a lot to go see all the cute puppies and of course I go to see Carson too.

 "Oh, are you going to work too?"

 "Yeah, someone I work with got sick so I got to cover her shift. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?"

 "I was going to go get some clothes from my house actually." I wore a pair of Carson's sweatpants and one of his t-shirts to bed last night.

 "Oh, then I should probably give you a key so you don't get locked out." Xavier said turning towards the cabinet. " We made a key for you since you kinda live here we just keep forgeting to give it to you." Xavier opened the cabinet and took out a key. "Here you go." he said handing me the key

 "Thank you. I guess i'll see you later." I said as I put on my shoes. I put the key in the pocket of Carson's sweatpants, and walked out the door.

 I walked over to where my dad's condo was. He and my mom got devoriced a few months after Hannah was born. My mom and I took it pretty hard but, we made it through. My dad only moved a block away from us. It was so if he wanted us to stay over, then it wouldnt cause complications when it came to getting to school.

  When I got there I rang the doorbell. After a few minutes there was no answer, so I walked next door to Mrs. Angel's house. She was my dad's next door neighbor. Mrs. Angel was 68 years old and, well, she was an angel.

 When I rang her doorbell she was at the door instanly.

 "Oh Madeline, how nice to see you again. how are you doing?" Mrs. Angel asked "I'm doing fine Mrs. Angel. I was wondering if you knew what happened to Hannah last night."

 "Oh yes, is Hannah okay?" Mrs. Angel asked as she lead me to her porch the back. I sat in one of the chairs.

 "I don't know. I haven't really heard anything. So do you know what happened to her?"

"Of course I do. Your father had to leave for an eight week business trip. He was packing his bags when he realised that he needed to go to the pharmacy to pick up a few things. He left Hannah here because the Pharamcy was down the street and he thought he would only be a few minutes Well, the pharmacy was giving flu shots so, he ended up waiting in line for two hours. I wasn't home at the time. but when I got home I had a message from him on the answering machine from him asking me to watch Hannah till he got home. I went next door and I found Hannah on the floor crying. The gas stove was on. I saw that she threw up. I turned off the gas stove and then I went to her aid. Then I saw her right arm was burn so I took her to the hospital. your father wasn't picking up his phone so I called your mother."

 "Where's my dad now?" I asked

"He left on his business trip this morning."

"Of course he did." I mumbled "Thank you Mrs. Angel."

"Anytime sweety. Take care."

 I started walking towards home. When I got there I didn't expect my mom to be home. When I saw her I let her have it.

 "What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled at her

"What did you just say to me?" my mom snapped

"You should have told me about Hannah. Me. Not Carson! I'm her family too you know!" I argued

 "Well you should have told me that your pregnant instead of hiding it from me. I am your mother you know!" My mother countered

 "How did you...."

 "My purse broke so I decided to borrow yours when I found this in it." My mom said as she held up a pregnancy test. "I didn't tell you about Hannah because I wanted you to feel how fustrating it is not being told something important about someone you love. Now go upstair pack some clothes and get out of my house." Then my mom got up and left the room.

 



© 2011 Julie Beth


Author's Note

Julie Beth
i'm not really sure on the ending for this was it ok?

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Reviews

what a b***h.
her mom makes me mad

Posted 13 Years Ago


holy crap... thats all i have to say

Posted 13 Years Ago


I hate her mother right now...

Writing keeps the dream alive
~V~

Posted 13 Years Ago


I feel like rather than research you angles you almost force the talking points within the chapter, however you do shine a light on how we as the readers need to proceed, well done

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Posted 13 Years Ago


And once again I forgot to add my information.
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Posted 13 Years Ago


Great chapter. I agree w/ Jim's comments so I won't repeat. Some of the dialogue seems a little forced and unnatural. Speak them out loud and it should help clean them up. I'm really liking this story. I like that you're not afraid to make her mother cold.
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Posted 13 Years Ago


Her mother is a terrible person. I wouldn't want her as a mother. That would kill me. Maddy didn't deserve to be treated that way. Her mother needs to understand her more. I like it though. Can't wait to read on. Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Wow. Her mom is not... understanding? At all? Very good. Found a few mistakes, but I don't really feel like pointing them out. I'm a bit lazy right now ^^ Anywho, I like where this story is going. It's realistic, and it's making more and more sense.

Posted 13 Years Ago


i loved the ending. it was very good. i think that the beginning was wonderful. i cant wait to hit the pretty button again....^.^

Posted 13 Years Ago


The story is moving along nicely, Julie. Something bothers me though. If you heard your little sister was in the hospital, but you didn't know why or how badly she was hurt, would you go spend the night with your boyfriend or would you rush immediately to the hospital? Also, you've explained why the mother talked to Carson instead of Maddy (from the last chapter), but the explanation in the first paragraph feels forced to me. You make up for it later in the chapter with further explanation, but I think it might have made for a better read if that information came out through a conversation between Maddy and Carter, not just delivered through Maddy's thoughts in that first paragraph. You ask about the ending...like daydreamer, I think it is really harsh, but I suspect that it is important to your story later on, so I will reserve judgment until I read more. Lastly, I am a terrible stickler for spelling and punctuation, but I know that most of the writers on here are not, since I find errors in almost everything I read. Since most don't seem to care, I won't point out all the typing errors any more, I'll just say there are many and recommend you pay close attention to the spellchecker as you are typing, or at least go back when you are done and have a look for the red lines. You tell a really good story and I'm looking forward to you continuing!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 7, 2011
Last Updated on September 10, 2011


Author

Julie Beth
Julie Beth

lala land, RI



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A Story by Julie Beth