Nighttime Fire

 

the sun has set

the skys a pretty shade of blue

the leaves are burning

in the fire pit

the night is calm

you can hear the

crackling of the fire,

the rustling of leaves

the embers remind me

of silent fire works

in the air

the fire looks so alive

but the heat is so much

it hurts to look

although for some unknown reason

it hurts not to look

the sky was black

i look at the fire pit as the

leaves turn to ash

little embers in the ash

set off a beautiful sceen

i sat there watching

till the sceen ended

and the curtain closed

 

 

Reviews

[GTVile]

I like the imagery, but I think you could have rhymed it! You definitely know how to weave words together, and with a little bit of work I think you'll be able to construct a piece that will be revered!

[WordsAndVoices]

very well written, keep up the good work.

[Toon]

captures the essence of fall. straightforward with just enough nuance. i like it. keep writing. there's a really definitive pace to this i think you should keep working on.

[Short.Nerd]

Nicely done.(: