The Forgotten Chapter 1

News Reporter:

      "Im Carrie Morgan with channel 12 news at noon. We have tragic news today. This morning, Faiths Elementary School was attacked. There was, as we believe, at least five bombs in the school. The bombs went unknown. At 11:28 this morning the bombs went off. With over 850 kids and 34 adults, there were no survivors found.Police have no leads as to who did this or why this happened. What we do know is that nobody saw this coming. I believe that I speak for everybody, when I say that this traumatizing event wont be forgotten. I'm Carrie Morgan and that was channel 12 news at noon."

" Thats a rap." The camera man said

       Carrie Morgan got up, ran into the bathroom and closed the stall door. Then she cried. She cried for the familys who lost their kids, their brother, sister, mom, dad, aunt, uncle, husband, wife, neice, and nephew. Then she cried for the principal of the school, her husband Micheal Morgan.

   Hunter:

  Six Hours Earlier

     Hunters alarm went of at six am. He rolled over and turned it off. Then he went down stairs and turned on the coffee pot. The house was so quite. His wife and kids were still asleep, the dog was to tired to get up, the only sound was the coffee brewing. He got a coffee mug and made the coffee to his wifes liking, then he went back upstairs.

    Hunter put his wifes coffee on the nightstand. Then he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

   "Jasmine, honey, its time to get up." Hunter said as he gentally shook his wife awake.

"Hmmmm?" Jasmine groaned.

"Its time to get up baby." Huter said

"Mhhhh, are the kids awake?" Jasmine asked.

"Not yet." Hunter said.

"Can you wake them up while i take a shower?"Jasmine asked as she started to sit up.

"Of course I can."Hunter said as he started to leave the room.

"Thanks for the coffee honey."Jasmine said

"Anytime baby." Hunter said as he went to go wake up his kids. Hunter had four kids. His oldest was his eighteen year old son Dylan, his second oldest was his ten year old son Ben, then the yougest were his eight year old twins, Luke and Hannah.

      Hunter walked into Hannah's room. Hunter loved Hannah. She was a lovable bundle of joy, the youngest, and his only daughter. He loved her with all his heart. He went over and woke her up.

"Hey Hannah Banana. You have a good sleep?" Hunter asked.

"Daddy you were in my dream. You chased away all the bad guys." Hannah said smiling.

"Of course i did. I cant have any bad guys hurt my little girl." Hunter said. Then he hugged his daughter and picked her up."You want to come with me to wake up your brothers?" Hunter asked.
"Only if you carry me." Hannah said.

"I'll carry you." Hunter said laughing.

Hunter and Hannah went into Dylans room first. Dylan was a very light sleeper. Hunter put Hannah down on Dylan's bed and Hannah started jumping up and down saying, 

"Wake up Dylan."  Then Dylan Grabbed her and held her down as he tickeled her. Dylan, like his father, loved her to death. She was his favorite sibling and he could never disappoint her.

   While Dylan was tickeling Hannah, Hunter went to go wake up Ben and Luke. Ben and luke share a room. Even though there's a two year age difference they get along great. they are very quite and only really talk to each other. Hunter walked in and turned on the lights. Once he turned on the lights, they both groaned as they started to climb out of bed. Ben and Luke hated getting up for school but they got up when they were suppose to.

"Morning boys." Hunter said.

"Morning dad." Ben and Luke said together.

"Breakfast will be ready in fifthteen minutes." Hunter said

"Alright." Ben said

"Ok." Luke said

   Hunter was making breeakfast when Jasmine came downstairs.

"Goodmorning." Jasmine said

"Goodmorning." Hunter said. Then he kissed his wife.

"Ewwww." Hannah said as Dylan Carried her into the kitchen.

"Wait eight more years and you'll be kissing boys." Dylan said.

"Not-ah," Hannah said."Boys are ecky."

"Whatever you say Hannah Banana. Alright Im leaving." Dylan said as he put Hannah down." I'm taking Joy out for breakfast before school."

"Bye Dyl-dyl." Hannah said.

"Have a nice day." Jasmine said

"See you tonight." Hunter said.

"Bye Ben. Bye Luke." Dylan called.

"Bye Dylan." Ben and Luke said as they came in the room. Then Dylan grabbed his car keys and left.

"Ben, Luke, Hannah, hurry up and eat your breakfast were going to be late." Jasmine said.

 "You shouldnt have become a teacher mom, then we wouldnt have to leave so early." Ben said.

"Stop complaining and eat. What do you guys want for lunch?" Jasmine asked.

"Ham." Ben said.

"Turkey." Luke said.

"I want Boloney." Hannah said

 After Jasmine finished making their lunch and the kids finished eating breakfast, they got ready to leave for school."

"Bye daddy." Hannah said as she gave Hunter a hug.

"Bye sweetie." Hunter said.

"Bye dad remember my soccer game after school." Luke said

"Dont worry Luke i'll be there." Hunter said

"See you later dad." "Ben said

"Bye Ben." Hunter said

"Bye honey." Jasmine said.

"Bye baby." Hunter said as he kissed his wifes forehead. Then he watched them leave not knowing, it was the last time he would see them.

Author's Note

This is a flash back that will be the cause of the events that are going to happen later on in the story

Reviews

[boyinblue]

The only problem I had with it was the repetition of the word "said" so many times. It subtracted from the story, at least I thought so. Try describing how they said it, or add on to it. For example:


"Bye sweetie." Hunter said, a gleam in his eyes.
"Bye dad remember my soccer game after school." Luke blurted out as if to remind him as though he had forgotten completely.
"Dont worry Luke i'll be there." Hunter comforted, a slight smile cornering his face, holding back the amazement he felt as though his son* had thought he had forgotten.
"See you later dad." Ben rushed, trying to get a word in through the quick exchanges in conversation.

But I'm not too good at that either, so that's a bad example. However, it would really lighten up your story.

Gd stuff though, I like where it's going.

[Knoxxeh]

This is a very good piece now yes there is a repeat of the word said which can be fixed and the ending can be shortened so not everyone is saying good bye one at a time
This isnt my story though you are the creator but it still a very good chapter and is getting me to read on
.novelists.elite.info.
.display. .wesley.002.
.memberID. 002
.name. Wesley
.username. Knoxx
.novels. Sanctum, Not Far From You
.status. Early Reader, Early Writer, noelwrimo Contestant
.noelwrimo. 690
.join date. 03-22-2011

[pamzilla. &hear..]

I agree in with boyinblue. 'Said' this, 'said' that. So many 'said's.
Other than that, I liked the chapter. It's good for a first chapter :)
A couple of errors, nothing too hard to fix.

.novelists.elite.info.
.display. Cooki-Eater
.memberID. 005
.division. I
.division.leader. Wesley
.name. Pamelee
.username. Shawtiie-Lee
.novels. Behind The Door, A Girl's Pain, My Birthday Wish, Hope At Last
.status. Novelist, noelwrimo Contestant
.noelwrimo.wordcount. 1,997
.join date. 03-23-2011

[Dalebear]

Good write

[Jesse Jacques]

just a few spellin mistakes, but still good.

[Alexa Tasch]

sad climactic and the fear of not knowing. The suspense is killing me!! but i agree with boyinblue if the same 2 people are talking there is no need for the word said.

[Short.Nerd]

I love this even if it is sad. Message me when yo have more up (:

[Grace Catherine C.]

Aw, the family's so cute you don't want them to die.

[A.A.Romanczuk]

Oh my...I really, really liked this...it's so tragic..I love how we know that everyone's going to die...and then You create this every day, idyllic scene showing a loving family getting ready for work and school, respectively...I can't wait to read further chapters...keep up the good work :)