DOOM & GLOOM

 

The Retirement Coach

DOOM & GLOOM  (JAN. 22, 2022)

 

Yes, I know, today’s New Year’s topic sounds dreadfully dreary because I sense that gloom weighs heavily on the planet. You probably didn’t get a hyperbaric chamber from your kids at Christmas, just the usual pair of cheap socks and a card with a silly rhyming scheme that tried to make the best of supply chain holdups. Mine went like this - “Sorry about the socks; the good stuff is in a cargo box; it sits far out at sea, and just can’t get to thee. Merry Christmas, your loving children.”            

I’ve been thinking hard about the concepts of peace, happiness and joy especially after these many months of non-stop Covid. However, for many, there is not much to be happy about as their therapists and gas station attendants will surely attest. Indeed, with an abundance of crisis - monetary, environmental and throw in a few of your very own, it’s a recipe for Steinbeck’s winter of discontent.

            I decided to look for wisdom from other nations to see if they might shed some light on this predicament. The third world, the impoverished group of nations that are economically far behind us, must have learned some important insights about happiness. From the Republic of Congo, check out this proverb: “A bald-headed man cannot grow hair by getting excited about it.” Profound, don’t you think?

As my hair thins and disappears, I don’t get excited. Rather, I gaze at others my age who are endowed with far fewer fickle follicles than me, and I think, well, at least I have outlasted them, but it does look like we will all reside in the follicle deficit boat pretty soon. My barber seems relaxed about it. He adroitly manages to take the same amount of time to cut less and less hair, a bit of an optical illusion. I think barbers learn to be compassionate as they ply their trade. When you arrive with your thin contingent of hair, you never hear a barber say, “Whoa, I think I can finish you off with only three scissor cuts” or “Hey, why don’t you use a bowl? It would save us both time.” Barbers are not sadistic. You return to them less and less for hair cutting and more and more for friendship and to find out what’s happening in town. Mine is the male equivalent of the female hairdresser where women go to gossip. I wonder why hair cutting results in so much confession. I suppose that it’s more therapeutic than going to church.

So much for the Congo. Let’s turn to an emerging power. China says: “Happy owner, happy cat; indifferent owner, reclusive cat.” I like this proverb; it’s got some zip to it and it rhymes. I’m going to watch my friends’ cats a little closer to check out the validity of this verse. From what I have observed thus far, most cat owners must be miserable. The Chinese also say, “A day of sorrow is longer than a month of joy.” This is an exaggeration. I think that it should be a full year not a measly month.

The Scots contend that “what makes one abbot glad makes another abbot sad.” This is certainly true in the realm of athletic competition and explains why Buffalo is perpetually such a sad city. You have NFL winners and then you have the Buffalo Bills. Four NFL Super Bowls and like the heads of old men, nothing to show for it. Belgium comes to the rescue with, “Happy nations have no history.” I suppose that’s another way of saying, “No pain, no gain.”

Bulgarians contend that “Two happy days are seldom brothers.” Do you get the sense that gloom does weigh heavily on the planet? Even romantic France says, “A satisfied heart will often sigh.” The French, also dramatic, advance the idea that “Joy and courage make a handsome face.” We have to tough it out, n’est-ce-pas?

            Leave it to Germany to reduce our problem to its core: “Those who have only one bow should be content with one fiddle.” Damn; I don’t own even a single bow so forget about a fiddle. When I was a kid, my parents gave me a harmonica, a decision they soon rued, and it mysteriously disappeared not long after I had composed and mastered many beautiful pieces that often brought them to tears of joy, I think.

In England, “A contented mind is a continual feast.” This is an important distinction that the Brits make. If everything is A-OK in the noggin, then each day is a piece of cake. So, it’s how we think that actually makes something good or bad. Our eldest daughter will certainly vouch for this proverb. When she visited Africa, She said that she had never seen people poorer yet happier. So, It’s all in the head.

The last piece of wisdom comes from the USA and helps explain our last few years: “If ignorance is bliss, why be otherwise?” Thus, the bottom line for retirees is simple - for a blissful year, please don’t think too hard. Have a great day and tune in again next month.

 

Listen to Mike’s podcasts (humour, travel and poetry) at: The Retirement Coach: http://theretirementcoach.libsyn.com/ His book, ‘Don’t Ever Quit - a Journal of Coping with Crisis & Nourishing Spirit,’ is available in print & electronic format at Amazon: https://amzn.to/2KBdPWQ