WATCHING SHORE BIRDS, HILTON HEAD BEACH

 

WATCHING SHORE BIRDS, HILTON HEAD BEACH

 

In long chorus line,

they zip across

the shallows

like ticker-tape,

a procession

of gain and loss

not black

or red numbers

signifying worth.

 

Shore birds

quicken my spirit,

draw me close

to mystery and spontaneity,

their gleeful romp

upon a frothy beach -

investigating

moist gifts.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Hi Mike,
Enjoyed the romp investigating moist gifts. Great description... I could actually see it..
Your poem flowed so well.. I was trying to discover a rhyme, however, except for two lines there is none..Your choice of words...chorus line..ticker-tape,etc. are wonderful.. Showing the reader the spirit of your poem..
I found that you are new to the Writers Cafe site.. I too am quite new..
I have written for many, many years and never showed anyone my writings..So, this is a whole new adventure for me.. and I am loving it.
Lisa..now in Spain

[Mike Keenan]

Thanks Lisa; it was quite a visual experience. Tried to capture the motion. Spain – loved it there. Where are you located? Poetry is like putting in golf- never up, never in, so go for it. It’s okay to get a bogey once in a while!

[Lisasview]

We are in Costa Blanca North which is in-between Alicante and Valencia, about an hours drive either way.. We are 5 minutes from the coast.
You did capture the motion.
If you have time please read a couple of mine.. The first one is a Sonnet (first time I ever wrote a Sonnet)
and there are a couple I wrote from the early 1970's..Plus, three I wrote in the past week or so that are labeled Mature audience.
Lisa

[Unspoken poet]

Shore birds
quicken my spirit,
draw me close
to mystery and spontaneity,

love this part a lot, this is a really wonderful write, enjoyed this

[Mike Keenan]

Hi Kim,
Thanks indeed; after reading your bio, I think you might like the sound of the last line, which mimics the birds.