walking at night

Annabelle Lee

Annabelle Lee walked carefully through the puddles avoiding getting her delicate paws wet. She walked head held high with one paw in front of the others. She had a purpose, she hurried though she did not want to be late for her meeting with her vampire. She scolded herself as she splashed through a puddle, she shouldn’t get her hopes up being bonded with a vampire was not guaranteed. She looked up between the buildings that towered above her, the sun had set hours ago and the streetlights had come on, stupid humans always needing lights. As she walked by a Starbucks with its windows all lit up, some man in a black leather jacket tried to pick her up. Annabelle scratched him and hissed at him. The man looked from his scratched hand to Annabelle, he sighed and walked away calling Annabelle a stupid cat.

Annabelle would have liked to stay and really get into it with that man but she reminded herself about her meeting, so she swished her tail and stalked away, the hair on the back of her neck slowly going back down smoothing out her tan fur. She was almost there she could feel it. Her whole body tingled sensing the presence of vampires. She had been in the presence of vampires before, but the tingling was new. It was a sign of her transformation, it was a very good sign that her vampire was near.

Annabelle walked up to the building that was her destination. It was a nice hotel in the middle of downtown Denver. She didn’t care about money, she was a cat. However a cat couldn’t just walk into a nice hotel like that. She would have to change just like she was told to. Annabelle Lee circled around the building to find a bag of clothes with her initials on it. She looked around to make sure that no one was watching, then she started the changing process. Her spine grew longer, her tail disappeared and her front legs became arms. In less than a minute a lean muscled girl with long red hair crouched where the cat had been. She stood up stretching, using muscles that had not been in use for a while. Annabelle hurriedly put on the clothes not wanting any human to see her naked in an alley. She put on the tight black jeans and the lace halter top. The clothes were obviously picked out by her mother. She sighed but she couldn’t complain, these were the type of clothes that would get her into the hotel. There was a piece of paper at the bottom of the bag. She tried to read it but she had weak human eyes so she would have to wait to read it. There was also a rose gold bell attached to a chain. Annabelle walked towards the front of the hotel admiring the Celtic knots that wove around the bell. As she walked in the front doors Annabelle put the chain around her neck.

Anabelle pulled out the paper from her pocket and read the instructions on it. Then Annabelle went to the front desk like the note said. A tall blonde man sat behind the desk. He looked up from the computer screen and seeing such a pretty girl in front of him he smiled. “Is there something I can do for you miss?” he asked looking Annabelle over.

She didn’t seem to notice that the young man was staring at her. Annabelle usually ignored men when she was in human form. She might look like a human but by no means would Annabelle Lee act like a human. “I am Annabelle Lee I am expected in room 709.” She said and handed the man behind the desk the paper.

          As the man read the note he straightened up. “Indeed it seems you are expected. You must have very important friends. Follow me I will personally take you to your destination.” He said and began to stand up.

          “That will not be necessary I can get there without you. I am not a helpless idiot.” Annabelle did not wait for a reply. She was above that. She walked to the elevators and took one up to the seventh floor. Annabelle knocked loudly not really caring if she interrupted anything.

          Her mother opened the door and smiled at her daughter. “Come in my dear, come meet everyone.” Her mother said. She was one of the more social able cats Annabelle had ever met.

          She did as she was told and tried to pay attention to everything that her mother said, but the tingling was getting worse than ever. Her vampire was someone in this room, but which one? As she shook hands with all the new vampires and cats she looked around in the crowded room trying to figure out which one would become her vampire. An hour passed and none of the vampires in the room turned out to be her vampire. Not being one for parties and crowds Annabelle sat in a corner armchair with a poetry book that she had borrowed from a vampire.

          “‘It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know by the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

She was a child and I was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love

I and my Anabel Lee

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud by night

Chilling my Annabel Lee

So that her high-born kinsmen came and bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulcher

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went on envying her and me;

Yes! That was the reason (as all men know, in this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud, chilling

And killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we-

Of many far wiser than we-

And neither the angels in heaven above

Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride

In her sepulcher there by the sea-

In her tomb by the side of the sea.’ It is such a beautiful poem. I myself have studied the genius of Edgar Allan Poe.” A very soft mysterious voice said in Annabelle Lee’s ear.

She spun around hating that her human ears did not hear him coming. Annabelle looked at the vampire, she definitely did not meet him earlier. His voice was so deep and controlled like a trained actor quoting Shakespeare. His voice was so rich and melodic it was almost intoxicating. His face matched the voice. He had high cheekbones and a noble looking nose. His golden eyes looked into Annabelle Lee’s with such intensity it made Annabelle shiver with delight. His hair was long and wavy he didn’t bother to do anything with it. It flowed down over his shoulders to brush the middle of his back. Annabelle Lee was speechless she knew that this had to be her vampire she just had to declare it, which frightened her. “Who are you?” Annabelle asked not caring about such common things as names and such. What they had was so much deeper than everything.

“I think you know exactly who I am little kitty.” That remark earned the vampire a hiss and a smile. He looked into the face of the cat. Her eyes were slanted in a way that was not exactly human, which was very beautiful to the vampire. Her hair was red like fire and her eyes were the greenest he had ever seen. He reached out for her hand and she gave it to him. Red light burst out from their intertwined hands. The room fell silent then every person in that room whether cat or vampire cheered for the new pair.  

As the light of their hands diminished to a soft glow another burst of light rose from across the room. This was a green light coming from a pair that looked at each other in astonishment. The cat dropped his vampire’s hand and stepped back. The vampire looked at his hand then to the cat he was destined to be bonded to. The two men looked at each other shocked but with understanding in their eyes.

Reviews

[alf]

Hi Nightshade. I'll tell you right off, I have never read fantasy, so if my comments don't gel with the subject matter, it is down to that fact. for the writing? Love the style. Right from the outset, there is no intent to divert the reader with overwriting and over-embellishment, nor did I see one line that was superfluous to the story. Might I also say, I found none lacking !!! I am sure that in time, you will review and make changes, but for this draft, this is excellent reading!! I shall read on, you have my interest!! alf

[nightshade]

I really want to thank you for reading this even though it isn't your genre. Also your kind words really made my day. I am glad that you like my style I try not to write things that really are not important to the story am trying to tell.
thanks so much for reading
nightshade

[alf]

Hi nightshade. I am never kind when I review, I am so sorry. I much prefer to be honest. I say it as I see it. If it's good , I will read, if it's totally rotten, I will say so. I believe in say what you mean and mean what you say,. just wanted to explain that so that you know my style of reviewing, alf

[nightshade]

honestly that is what I would prefer the only way that my writing can get better and it can always get better is when people tell me what they think rather than what I want to hear.
thanks for everything

[alf]

Not a problem. I will be back!!!

[Miyank]

Hi Nightshade, your first chapter have quite an interesting storytelling. You narrate a romantic saga in a fantasy settings but it is a book and for this your first chapter seems boring. I thought that that the story was concluded. You could have used a cliffhanger in this.

[Justin Robben]

I found the overall concept and mood of this chapter quite enjoyable. It seems an interesting take...the "pairing" of supernatural beings and all. I'll likely continue.

As for the actual writing, I struggled with some parts.
For my personal tastes I am not a huge fan of the "this happened, then this, then that" style. And too many sentences, again, for my tastes, began with he or she, her or him. I'd prefer mixing it up...create a feast for the eyes. This genre should make for some vivid imagery.

It's tight, though. Almost too tight.

[Sinister Cutlass]

The cat dropped "his" vampire's hand...
The two "men" looked at each other shocked but with understanding in their eyes...

I think you meant "her" when you wrote "his", and I'm unclear about who the two "men" are....

[Sinister Cutlass]

Did the cat change sex? You seem to refer to the cat as "he" at the end, when it started out as she?

[nightshade]

So think you for reading I can't find a place where I said he but that could be me not seeing typos. For clarification she is always a she even if she is a cat.

[kattebel]

This is really good so far- I enjoyed reading it. The descriptions of people were especially good.