Translucent

This one is just a structural nightmare. I just needed to get this out of me.

She filled this space in the same capacity that I did

Every room swallowed her 

Her screams never seemed to touch the air

I watched her pace in the living room turn into a jog

She knew she wasn't gaining distance from herself

I think it just felt good for her to pretend that she could

She stopped singing while she worked

Then her showers became void of melody

Her voice a causality of whatever war she was fighting

I heard her often beg the sky for a moment to dream

I would listen carefully to see if her pleas could break through the ceiling

We sat together until the sun would stream along her sullen face

One day I realized that reality had snuffed out her smile 

Day by day one of her petals would fall and sway to the floor

Reduced to a dying stem unable to support her soul

Her green eyes glazed over refusing to hint at a sign of life

They were no longer a part of her 

They looked just like my own

Reviews

[Robert Haigh]

A poem with that "high lonesome" quality to it. If this were a song it would be sung by Emmylou Harris, or perhaps Margo Timmins of Cowboy Junkies. The deeply sad, desolate feel is both palpable and poetic! Sometimes we can be haunted by our own unfulfilled dreams. A highly expressive and poignant poem!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Wow. This was fantastic. What a wonderful place your poetic voice speaks from. It oozes with feeling and slow moving burn like lava from a volcano. The title could very well be "the replacement" as the new love tries for fit the mold cut from the past. While reading this I was reminded of the novel "Rebecca" by Daphne do Maurier where the protagonist is haunted by the seeming unrelenting presence of her husband's ex-wife until the mystery reveals her demise. I enjoyed this. F.

[poison&kerosene]

This is one of those poems I am not thrilled with but needed to get out of my head. Your comment is more beautiful than the poem and it is so well appreciated! I now have a book to read as well!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You'll love that book. It's great. Sometimes our best poetry comes from trying to get things out of our hearts and heads. F.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I find it so sad when one cannot realize his or her dreams...
and those "dreams deferred" end up drying up like a raisin in the sun....as Langston Hughes put it.
j.

[poison&kerosene]

It is a tragedy to think of all of the great minds unable to find a place for them in society. I am by no means one of those people but I watch the years tick by and wonder where I would be if I followed my dreams. When I have the means I will realize my dreams (unintended tiny poem). Thank you for your words as always. I look forward to your comments!