A Bloody valentine

A poem from a boys pov about his very first heartbreak

You think you know a girl

But you don't know a thing 

You love, you fight, you care

In the end there's nothing there

No love, no heart

She doesn't want

One part of you

Certainly not the whole thing

She doesn't care

And noone,  nowhere

Would dare say different

Blindsided like a foal in headlights

A blunt truth turns legs to jelly; you fall so hard

Her truth can take away your fight 

And when she says goodnight to your life

You say goodbye to a healthy, unblemished

Beating heart

This once virgin heart of mine

It's now a bloody heart

Her "Bloody Valentine" to you

How nice 

And I will tell you the experience 

It was not divine, sublime

It was not even fine

Reviews

[Soleil RunningWild]

*And noone, [you need a space] nowhere

Beside the thing above this is actually really amazing. It shows teenagers struggles with love and how their heart is destroyed when they break up.
My favorite part though was the rhyme and the rhythm of the poem and how it flowed. So well done. This is just a random online read.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol well glad you like it. I'll go add that space ;-) I do pride myself at having fairly good rhyme and rhythm within the majority of my work.

[Soleil RunningWild]

well then... I guess I will have to read more!:D

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

it would be my pleasure :)

[Soleil RunningWild]

:D yes! :D

[Balkaran Sidhu]

beautifully written... :) some strong emotions here

[Akashi]

Keep up the excellent writing skills.